Through a couple spice journeys and other entheogens, I have come to realize that sexuality is a much more complex issue than it is commonly thought to be. My first discovery of this was upon ingesting some 5-MEO and getting stuck on this very issue. A run in with a shadow aspect of sorts, I believe. I just couldn't let go past it, and the remainder of my trip was spent in a relatively uncomfortable state. Since that time, I have realized that within myself, there are constantly impulses arising that cannot be classified as hetero or homosexual explicitly. I find myself on some sort of strange continuum, and it is becoming very confusing to my sense of identity. For a while after that first trip, I was very distressed, having grown up in a very conservative environment, and had only ever been turned on or had impulses for females. Having this new layer uncovered has been a confusing matter, and where it leads I have no idea.

At this time, I feel like I'm going through a complete shedding of my former identity, kind of a spiritual opening, which is exactly what I have been aiming for, yet resisting at the same time. I have recently given myself to the process and began nurturing my higher self. The weird thing is that I really don't have any sexual impulses in this state. I find myself strangely introverted and introspective, kind of oblivious to the outside world much of the time, and in contrast to before, I really don't think about sex much at all. It has me very confused, because you had asked me 2 years ago, I would have confidently told you I was a horny 20 year old heterosexual, having (and enjoying) pretty regular sex with my girlfriend. Now however, I have no idea what is going on. I don't know if my sexuality will come back, if it will change form, or if I'm just imagining this whole phenomenon.

Has anyone else noticed any changes in sexual patterns or anything of the sort after embarking on the journey of discovering their higher self? The confusion is honestly the most stressful part, I truly feel like right now in my journey I am in the belly of the whale, really at a loss for who or what I am, and it is quite overwhelming actually. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

First of all I personally don't think that anyone male or female is 100% hetro or homo sexual. This is a generalized common misconception that seems to be erroneously widespread. It's not black and white. There is a huge grey zone in between. My cat has had a similar experience as you.

He tripped on LSD with some friends and during the trip two of them were staring to get really close. too close but nothing specifically sexual. My cat didn't say anything until one of them started to try to get close to him in that manner. Playing footsie etc. In his confused state my cat wasn't sure how to respond. He started to question his own sexuality even though like you he had been comfortable with being a heterosexual male up until that point. Nothing became up it, but an the above mentioned theory was concluded.

At this point my cat is dating a female and is happy with this.

Accept yourself for what you are but don't go about forcing situations. Do some serious meditation on the subject. a little aya perhaps or shrooms. write down your thoughts.

kind regards

That's interesting, and helpful to know that other people have gone through a similar experience as a result of tripping. I'm really just curious to see if this prolonged lack of sexual interest is because of a drawn out awakening experience/identity passage or what. It's very curious, because sometimes I will get aroused, and I have can be incited to arousal with a female partner, but I almost never seek out that experience at the moment.

You might try to masturbate sometime, and try to just observe what you feel, physically & internally or whatnot. Also just consciously enquire yourself generally what you interpret sexuality to be.

Also id recommend checking out "sex & spiritual development" by JG bennett.

[insert sophomoric dirty joke here]

After a first few times... i was confused... am i gay? Am i Bi? Were these feelings repressed. I think i would be a bisexual polyamourus lover if only i could find people suitable. That said i'm happy i'm my hetero relationship and have no major urges.
Point being i dont really feel like any of this matters anymore. When it used to seem a deal.

I honestly don't know if something's wrong with me, or I'm just far more in tune with some sort of biological imperatives than most, but all the "sexual impulses" I get are highly related to potential "genetic fitness" of potential offspring :/

I'm only sexually interested in females who are highly intelligent, independent/self-sufficient, physically fit (not necessarily athletic, but healthy), and any faults they may have could be counter-acted by my own strengths (and my faults/weaknesses counter-acted by theirs).

Strange as hell for me, because I can see what I'm doing, and feel powerless to change it.

Only times I've taken care of business while tripping, took on a similar but different level. Fantasized about "spiritual mating" to create new life....

My mind confuses me. I can't empathize with most people's sex for lust's sake because my mind just doesn't see the point. Not that I don't understand the concept, it just so completely distant from my version of reality it's hard to imagine.

A friend I know experiences a shift in sexuality whenever he's using LSD or the like. He feels as though his sexual "center" changes from the genitals to the stomach and that the gender configuration taking part in sexual activities become unimportant.

Also, after a few recent dmt trips he's getting more and more certain of him being pansexual (also when not influenced by any drug).

That's pretty interesting, I believe that could be along the lines of what I have been experiencing. Kind of an awakening to the fact that it probably has more to do with the individual person and how they present themselves than anything else. On one hand, it's kind of intimidating to the ego to wake up to this type of thing, but it's also a liberating feeling the more it soaks in. Kind of a nice jump outside of the mainstream programming of "anything with tits" type of mentality being portrayed as the only acceptable route.

This begs the question of how is sex related to the spirit, and can deepening spirituality be achieved while simultaneously being sexually active?

Why wouldn't it be?

According to Dr. Carmen Boulter who wrote and produced the Pyramid Code documentary series, in ancient Egypt, the high initiates were supposed to have mastered the "magic" of each of the chakras starting from the bottom-up. Sex magic was first thing on the agenda for any initiate hoping to unlock the secrets of the higher chakras.