Welcome to the Nexus!
Patience is unquestionably a virtue, and Im sure it will be rewarded.
Datura is, as you say, a profound experience, but because its also potentially lethal and can cause long-lasting psychological damage its a discouraged topic of discussion here.
Continue your reading, and when the time comes......
Once more, welcome!
I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.