Hey guys,
Over the last month I have had several experiences with spice that are somewhat unsatisfying. There have been many different occasions where I load up a breakthrough dose, smoke it, and then am disappointed to find myself still very much in our world with very little to no closed eye visuals. I had about 5 or 6 of these experiences in a row using both freebase crystals and my dmt-n-oxide changa.
Then one night after about 3 to 4 drinks of alcohol, I decided I would try again with the oxide. I usually never take dmt after drinking alcohol but this time I decided why not, I wasn't too intoxicated. After my previous experiences I was expecting this one to go pretty much the same. Boy was I wrong. I took three hits and just like that boom boom boom I was catapulted into one of the most intense breakthrough trips of my life where I experienced being stuck in a loop. It was total obliteration and chaos, the whole world kept folding in on itself and it was as if someone had turned on an infinite repeat button. I never thought things would be the same but man when I came back I had never felt so alive. It is rather frustrating that this time I did breakthrough and when I got to hyperspace it seemed only as a result of the alcohol.
So here is where things get really weird. After the last breakthrough I just described, I decided that a pharma experience was long overdue. So last night I weighed out 230mg harmala alkaloids and 60mgs of spice which was taken 30 minutes after the maoi. It was certainly the best pharma experience I have had yet (Ive only had two others) however that dose alone did not give me any closed eye visuals so I was really looking forward to smoking some spice. I tried three different attempts at smoking last night, and NEVER got a single closed eye visual!!! The first two attempts at smoking were two full cones of my dmt-n-oxide changa - something that in the past would have been more than sufficient to achieve breakthrough by holding in my hits. The third was 40mgs of freebase melted into some blue lotus, also something that would normally cause me to breakthrough- or at least see things with my eyes closed. Each of these smoking sessions were seperated by about an hour and a half.
After the last one, I was laying in bed more perplexed than I have ever been. How do I keep ingesting this amount of dmt and just be sitting here on my bed like it hardly even happened. I always feel the dmt and can tell I have smoked some, but it's always like instead of the entities opening up the door and letting me in to see the spectacular places and things they have to offer, they just keep the door closed.
Has anyone else ever had similar issues to mine? It is really frustrating using the amounts of dmt I am, and not getting the results I was hoping for. I know that it is really hard to have any expectations with what will happen when you smoke dmt, but it is absolutely mind boggling to me that I can injest what at other times will be a breakthrough dose and not even get closed eye visuals from it, EVEN DURING PHARMA!?
Any and all advice will be much appreciated! Thanks
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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others--the living--are those who pushed their control as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to choose between now and later - HST