Yesterday was the day, the only people I've ever been comftorable tripping with and myself had our LSD, my male friend took 2.5 tabs, my female friend dosed one tab, I took 2.5 tabs.
For me this was the biggest dose I've done, of any psychadellic ever. (There was also a small dog, the breed of which I am not certain, but it is a kind and loving dog, that has an astounding consciousness and is very aware of all energies surrounding people and things, this dog belongs to my female friend, and I feel as though I care for it very much).
I'll fill in the blanks quickly. I will refer to my male friend as LKR and my female friend as GGT
It was roughly 2-3pm, at my GGT's new house, on the upstairs balcony.
I had recently finished work, knocked off early for the occasion, picked up my male friend and entered the new house. We got comftorable, shared smiles, found a happy zone and comfort whilst staring at the gorgeous and bright sun, then we partook.
The onset was very fast, generally I have a slow build up to LSD, this was none the like, within twenty minutes the walls were moving back and forth, I could feel the high.
In a zone of bliss and realizing my friends were also beginning to venture into their minds was the confirmation that I needed, and I said to myself "Take me away, show me".
Two or so hours in, I had never felt this free, surrounded by the love of my friends, lightly sweating, basking in the Sun as it began to bring light to other parts of our wonderous Earth, listening to the psychadellic music I had chosen, playing through the computer in the room beside the balcony.
I felt very in-tune with the spiritual world around me, the energy that had been, is and will be. As the sun went down, I felt more and more presences, despite the incredible visuals, I did not see them at all with my waking eyes, I did not need to, I always knew.
As the linear realm of time became less and less meaningful, I began noticing that I was not quite myself, that I was not in my body, I was... elsewhere, with my eyes I'd look to the night sky as the stars began to blossom, and feel at home, I could not feel my body, with enough of a thought process I could do what I wished, but I couldn't help but think that I was, somewhat possessed, possibly by the spirits that were staying in the building. I wasn't the only one, LKR voiced the previous as we were discussing how we were, where our minds were at, what our thoughts and theories were on the universe, life, love, etc.
None of not being in control bothered me, I wandered the house multiple times, more than I can remember, went downstairs alone, where as I would normally be too frightened to leave my friends side whilst under the effects, then I found myself in the upstairs room the stairs lead upto. I sat, the room began to warp and twist, I loved it, bulging colours flowing through the walls, then I felt something negative. Colour was drained out, all life seemed hopeless, and I could merely think about standing up and going back to the balcony, let alone do it. I thought I heard voices, though I do not recall what they said, but I remember malevolence, frightened for what may seem an eternity, as time became a joke, I tapped in to something, I felt something hard in my head, my brain, I'm not sure where exactly, but in my brain something blossomed, a fire burned inside my stomach, I heard myself say "Fight, don't be weak, you are in control, you are the stength, you are not afraid, you are unstoppable".
I felt Primal, like an Ape that was the head-honcho, or the Lion King that all bowed down to, and I was not going to let a negative energy take control, or let me dwindle down into a spiralling abyss of despair.
It's important to note that I've spent my life afraid of the dark, and the unknown, when I'm alone, if vulnerability strikes, I always allow myself to be taken by it, not this time.
I stood up, found myself back out at the balcony, after feeling a kind of "push" out the door. I looked at my friends, LKR had a stunned look on his face, just tripping balls, I was glad, GGT looked at me and smiled, she is always so beautiful.
GGT and I have an interesting relationship you see, we are friends with benefits as most would call it, although we have an undeniably intense emotional connection, and we're completely happy with how we label it. She's brought me so much happiness and comfort, I'd rather not imagine my life without her.
More time passed, neighbours walked through the street, the presence of strength left me temporarily. As my mind wandered away into an abyss where my visual hallucinations were awesome, frightening and welcoming and I was not sure who, where, or what I was, I felt my body signalling something to me, at the time I had no idea, so I thought something was wrong and so I began plummetting, lost in music and transfixed in a reality I had created with my mind and could see with my eyes, it felt as though I had stopped flying, I had slammed into the earth, and I did not like it at all.
I was thinking hard, about life, everything, and at the peak of it all I heard a voice that was not my own, "Well then, who the F*%$ are ya?!". I simply did not know, I didn't know my name, my job, if I was human, where I was, I looked to LKR, he stared back with his eyes open and I did not recognize his soul.
A slight relief came to me as the Primal feeling I spoke of earlier crept into my stomach and mind, I smiled and asked the trip to take me further, I ventured further, I felt the sensation of something prying open my brain, my eyes, likely my third eye, lights, colour, patterns, I was God.
The LSD trip reached its climax, the climax that would last for another eternity, I was laughing hard, harder than I had laughed in a long time.
And then.. I began crying, atleast I thought I was crying, when my mind entered my body, and I realized, I looked around, I wasn't sure if my friends noticed, but I felt exposed, vulnerable and scared, once again LKR was not himself, and I felt as though I couldn't be weak infront of him, the dog was asleep on GGT's legs, I decided to lay next to GGT.
I asked them if they were there, where I was, what was real, if I was truly on the balcony, I needed to hear my name, I needed to know that my physical body was okay, and most of all, I needed to know that I hadn't pissed my pants.
Praise the stars I hadn't, but I needed more reassurance, I held GGT's hand, and I felt as though I could see the future, and made a reality out of everything that would happen based on decisions I made, the dog was awake as a neighbour walked down the street, and she stuck her head out as if to warn the person to stay away, I could have sworn that I was running back and forth just like a dog, barking at this person, I was convinced I had had sex with GGT right there, infront of my dissapproving friend, who was not himself, I thought I had jumped off the blacony, I was insane, I was dead, I asked to be taken beyond, and I was, I was afraid and in a nightmare, much like the lucid and horrible dreams of my childhood that would have me sleepwalk in fear, crying and yelling. The voice echoes "should've been more careful".
It was then the dog woke up, she turned, came upto my face, so loving, so caring, as was GGT, I was happy again, surrounded by warmth, still though, LKR's non-self presence disturbed me. We went inside, surely the nighbours are scared of us weirdos, staring at them as they get home.
Everything was abit calmer, I still felt multiple presences, but now I felt as though my consciousness was finally in my body.
Looking over at LKR, I felt as though he was judging me, I stared at him un-knowingly, and multiple black and red eyes appeared on his face, staring and blinking, I rolled with it.
GGT slept, LKR and I talked, tension for whatever seemed to have been released. We walked, talked, laughed, both had glimpses of not realizing who eachother was, eventually sleep came.
This morning as LKR left, something was different, I saw something in him, that I didn't want to see, I'm sure he didn't want me to see, though I was explosively happy, that if I did cry, neither of my friends cared or judged, they understood.
I felt cleansed and strong.
Now, the fire is burning, I feel Primal, I feel in-touch.
I am strong
I am courageous
I am untouchable
I am unstoppable
I am fierce
I am, Primal.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading, that was my first trip report, I do hope you enjoyed it
Stay Safe