Hello fellow psychonauts,

Although I have been reading the DMT Nexus for a number of months now, this is my first post... so please be kind.

"SWIM's" interest in exploring the dynamics of DMT is part spiritual, part scientific inquiry, and part psychological therapy, but not particularly in that order. SWIM would like to discuss the last part in greater detail. SWIM's main interest lies in the community's personal experiences, and any advice you all may have for someone with a great deal of respect for this substance, and the personal insight one can gain from its use.

SWIM can be described as a private person. SWIM is am often guarded, and careful what SWIM says, especially on the internet... but SWIM feels that this is a safe place to divulge a bit of personal information... as SWIM trusts the members will be prudent.

SWIM has been seeing a professional psychologist for about the same amount of time that SWIM has been experimenting with N-N, DMT. SWIM finds both have been a great deal of help to understand the inner working of SWIM's psychology, belief system, and pre-determined decision making process. SWIM has found that his trips are highly connected to SWIMs psychological troubles/questions. SWIM has been open with SWIM's psychologist about SWIM's experimentation... and SWIM's psychologist feels that SWIM is exploring both types of therapy for the same reason: to discover the root of SWIM's mental challenges in order to surpass SWIM's current obstacles, and grow to SWIM's maximum potential.

When SWIM was a child, SWIM believed SWIM was reborn anew... given an opportunity to solve a specific problem in this life. SWIM's family did not believe in reincarnation, and SWIMs ideas were squashed and discouraged from discussions. SWIM does not know the gravity of SWIM's task/purpose... but since SWIM discovered DMT, SWIM has reaffirmed this original belief.

SWIM has encountered two specific entities; both can be distinguished by sex (one male, one female), and by light. On two occasions, the female entity has shown SWIM a nursery of sorts. She is surrounded by white light, and SWIM gets the feeling of love and protection when in her presence. The female entity has shown SWIM moments of SWIM's early childhood, possibly to show SWIM how much SWIM was loved. SWIM went home with the words... "You are loved, you have always been loved, and always will be loved". This message was extremely helpful to SWIM. The other entity is distinctly masculine. He operates the control room, often described by travelers as the "machine" room. The entity has shown SWIM that he has full control of the DMT world. He has shown SWIM how all objects can be streched, shrunk, and turned inside out using only the mind. He has shown SWIM that he is also in control of SWIM's body... and SWIM's mind. He has also attempted to show SWIM how the world operates. When SWIM attempted to show his understanding, the male entity quickly reminded SWIM that SWIM knows nothing... He became agitated, and then SWIM encounter a Jester with a head in the shape of a blender. The male entity is surrounded by utter darkness, and expresses himself in sharp colors of bright red, green, white, and yellow. SWIM is a bit scared of the male entity.

SWIM's therapist has found many similarities between these entities and SWIMS parents. SWIM is cautious and a bit scared to return, for the answers may not be clear, or what SWIM would like to hear. With that said, SWIM believes strongly that his answers lie inside. The following link reflects SWIM's current beliefs.

http://juanfilpo.com/2011/06/02/the-rules-for-being-human-las-reglas-para-ser-humano/

For those who have encountered the same sort of anxieties... how do you deal with the psychological aspects of exploring the inner-self? How do you find the courage to return? SWIM is changed, although for the better, each time he travels to the inner world. After each trip, SWIM finds it more and more difficult to return... to find the courage to blast off into the unknown...

My gratitude for reading through this post. Your thoughts/perspective, ideas, and advice are welcomed.

MC1061

Hello MC1061

Greetings and salutations from one life dreamer to another.

I don't have adequate time at this moment to address all of the issues you have raised. It is quite a can of worms.

What I can say is that:

A) These entities SWIY encountered are familiar to SWIM. Their personalities are as such, and they are awesome beings for sure. Awe in the literal sense... always has a touch of fear. If you didn't have some trepidation about such experiences, THEN something might actually be wrong with you. Heheheh.

B) You seem like a thoughtful and genuine person. Having no idea what your actual "issues" are, I can only say that you should hang in there. You are making progress, so there is nothing to get overly hung up about. These things take time. SWIM finds that if you don't fully digest what the spice is showing you, or at least give it your best shot... it is probably not a good idea to keep blasting off. One must really process these hyperspatial experiences. Analyze them and deconstruct them. A single second in those spaces can contain more information than entire months of normal life. Try not to gloss over it. Keep a journal perhaps.

C) Another major point is that you must develop your roots if you are not to be blown away. This is both metaphorical and actual energetics. My advice would be to find a kung fu master or a yoga teacher, and begin practicing some form of internal art. It is truly amazing what a little bit of meditation and energy work can do for you. Find your center and calm down at least 450%... seriously.

I have to run, but remember one thing when it comes to spice... it is like a roller coaster. You can experience things that would be frightening beyond comprehension if you weren't on a track, sitting in a vehicle with a safety roll bar, in an amusement park designed especially for such thrills. Trust in the ride. Trust your wetware. And, if you really want to understand what that place is all about, try Ayahuasca. It is slower and longer and gives you much more chance to digest what is going on.

Never feel pressured to blast off anywhere. Let as much time pass as is needed. That place isn't going anywhere.

Be well.

Hyperspace Fool,

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am still in the process of fully digesting my last trip. It has been months... I don't feel so much a pressure to return, but rather a desire to solve solve some inner issues. I believe that my mind has locked away some memories/thoughts, which are accessible in this inner world, but are too painful to tackle in this "reality". I plan to take your advice and find a master. I have also kept a journal. I return to my words from time to time, and reprocess my thoughts. Each time, I gain a new sense of admiration, as I find connections with other readings and life experiences. I am currently reading the Liberation Through Understanding In The Between, also known as The Tibetan Book Of The Dead. I find the teachings of the Buddah helpful, as they ease my mind and help set me on the right path. Thanks again for your comments.

MC1061

P.S. I am glad I have found a group of individuals with the same passion for discovery.

to integrate these experiences more profoundly in your life and psyche , try expressing them , sharing your trip reports will get you started on integration and expression , also try expressing your experiences through Art , music , poetry , philosophical writing - these forms of expression take integration to a very profound level

journey well

Welcome to the Nexus!

What Hyperspace Fool as well as Jin said was spot on. Also remember that dmt will bring more questions than answers. I think its possible external reality can influence our experiences to some extent but to equate dmt entities only to your parents would be a pretty reductionist approach (and speculation like any other). Its hard to define what hyperspace really is (take this and this thread as examples of very nice discussions regarding what is hyperspace and if we can really know it). In any case at least if on one level you think that using this model is useful to integrate your experiences in a healthy way at this moment, go for it.

By the way Hyperspace Fool and MC1061, we do not require people to use "SWIM" in this community (and there's no evidence to suggest it can offer legal protection). Do as you please, whatever you feel good with writting

About the link you sent, I feel there are a couple of things missing. For example, point 6, "there" is not better than "here", I think is an important part but that by itself it is unbalanced, I think at the same time we need to have a side that always strives for improving / self-perfecting. So in that sense, while we need to be satisfied with who we are at any given moment, its also important to try to keep becoming better (though one may argue that this was covered in the "learning has no end" part).

I would also include other points, of 'being as aware as possible of the consequence of one's actions' and 'acting to diminish suffering and increasing well being and inner growth in others'. Also "striving for sustainability"

Welcome to the Nexus, MC1061!

Such great advice already! I feel more attuned with what Endlessness suggests, regarding the entities. An old member of the Nexus who isn't around much anymore, Ghostman, compared the early stages of voyaging with DMT to the construction of a consciousness interface for hyperspace. This really matched SWIM's experiences very much. The first spice journeys seemed to refer to actual people she had intense emotional ties to. Over time it became obvious that it wasn't the actual people, but the aspects of mind she associated with them. As her ability to engage directly with the mindstuff grew, the personal imagery became less and less useful and has basically completely disappeared at this point.

Not to claim this happens with everyone, but you may find the approach useful.

@Hyperspace Fool, the description of an amusement park ride is so incredibly apt for some aspects!

Right back at you guys...

I really appreciate having colleagues such as we have here. Normal people can be a drag if you let them.

Heheheh.

As for the archetypal characters, actual entities, projections of mind etc. SWIM feels that the beings encountered often display intelligence and autonomy that leads me to conclude that they couldn't merely be projections of SWIMs mind. 1st of all, they know things that SWIM doesn't. 2ndly, when mind melding with them, their minds are so alien and other, that the only way SWIM could consider them to be "aspects of himself" is when he considers all of creation to be himself. (which he does in his best moments

As a lucid dreamer, i have learned to distinguish between my projections (creations) and "external" entities. It is difficult to put into words, but there is a feeling and very different transfer of energy that takes place when one is dealing with one's own subconscious vs. when one is interacting with another sentient being. Of course, it is possible to do what I do when unsure in my dreams... ask the entity directly. You might be surprised by the answers you receive.

I also have encountered a female(white light) presence that embodies alot of the characteristics you posted. I have always benefited much and learn alot about my inner works through psychedelics. I also like Buddhism teachings, mindfulness and awareness are very important aspects self development. Being in the now, realizing in the now. Finding it more difficult to return is a good sign imo that you have a high regard for the experience. This is very good, I agree with everyone that integration is important. Your male aspect you described reminded me of a salvia experience I had years back. I find yoga and meditation very good for inner work, yoga for me helps alot to expand my consciousness past any blockages that seem to compartamentalize it in a sense. Maybe look around for a school near you that seems to feel good. I was/am always alittle nervous going to the classes with people and everything....but once you get started everyone is directed inward and that all melts away. learning about body mind connection is very helpful imo. I also agree with jin and feel integration through expression is a good tool, which I know can be hard (ineffable).....but through means of art is always good. Drawing is good, I took up hand drumming and its an excellent tool. Hmmm, I havent read Tibetan book of the dead yet....except for snippets online. I do have a couple book reccomendations that have been an aid in my travels: Be Here Now -Ram Dass... alot of good info in this book for connecting you to the present among many other things, I will be giving it another read soon. This IS IT- Alan Watts, good for helping you not attach too much to ways of getting unattached. Much love and glad you joined the forum

Thanks to all who replied. I plan to venture inward once my mind is prepared, and the setting welcomes positive enlightenment. Thanks again!