Hello Nexians.

I've lurked these forums for quite some time, and hung out with various members in the Nexus chat for several weeks. All the while I've been trying to absorb as much information as possible, trying to prepare myself in some way for my first experience with DMT and psychedelics in general. I had that first experience last night and I would like to share it with the community. This will inevitably become a very long first post, but I would appreciate feedback and guidance from those who stomach their way to the end. I would also like to be considered for membership into this community. It has already provided me with a great deal of positive energy, thoughtful dialogue, and useful information and I hope my meager ramblings may prove useful or at least interesting.

Introduction
Let me begin by stating that it was two OBEs that I experienced several years ago that ultimately led me to become acquainted with DMT. While researching this phenomenon I had encountered on the internet I ended up stumbling across the rabbit-hole that is DMT. The thought of a substance that generate such a profound metamorphosis of the conscious was very appealing, and the thought of being shot into hyperspace at light speed held a particular degree of allure. So I began the research necessary to begin my own extractions, however it was only recently that I acquired the actual space to perform the necessary steps. I used Noman's Tek (from the Wiki here) and on my first successful pull I got about 100mg of pure white spice. I had no substantial experience with drugs (although I now find referring to spice as a "drug" distateful) of any sort. I had only done marijuana a few times and that was the extent of it. I had no conception of how to properly smoke a freebase, nor did I have the tools necessary to do so. I built "The Key" (also described on the Wiki) but ultimately failed to receive an effective dose on two attempts, squandering my first extraction.

With that noted, I will now attempt to relate my first true DMT experience as honestly as I can, with what recollection I possess...

Preparing for Launch
Last night, with 200mg of slightly yellow DMT crystals and a pipe that I have come to possess (I've recently started smoking marijuana about twice a month), I decided it was time to try again. I laid a bed of crushed caapi leaves (which I purchased to make changa for future endeavors) and then covered it with 40mg of DMT and another layer of caapi. I waited until my boy was fast asleep and then went to my room where I laid down with the lights off. My girlfriend laid beside me, I think more anxious than myself after the instructions I had given her ("Don't try to interact with me, just be there in case I need you. Don't freak out if I don't respond, I may not be coherent to my surroundings, etc etc."

Lift Off
Lights off, on my comfy bed, pipe and DMT in hand. I lit the pipe and pulled, trying to smoke it all in one hit. I can safely say I failed, but it was a valiant effort. Pretty immediately I felt heat in my forehead, and a dull vibrating sensation that started at my toes and then permeated me to the core. I remember turning to my girlfriend and stating "Its working this time.." I then began my trip.

Though I do not recall the entire trip, there are several specific events that stand out. At one point I recall saying several phrases to my girlfriend. "This is hyper-real!" and "This is amazing, I feel wonderful" though the experiences that prompted me to say this elude me now. I do recall looking at her face, which appeared to be composed of triangular faces and angular vertices laid out as one sees a 3D computer polygon model.

The bed at several times became magnified and glowing, so that I saw each fiber of the bedspread as if it were radiating light in the dark room. I then looked at the dresser at the end of my bed, which appears "tribal" for lack of a better word. Everything felt natural and roughly-hewn. The detailing and woodwork seemed to take on strange geometric "wobblings" and the dresser and door seemed to be "breathing". I then closed my eyes.

Bam! It was a living light show. Roaring pin-wheels of color (yellow and orange I believe). It looked like fiery spiderwebs that were cris-crossing behind my eyelids. I recall thinking "How will I ever describe this with words?" At the center of this pin-wheeling radiating starbust was a "medallion" of yellow and orange light that was very jagged like a cartoon star. I saw what appeared to be a fat female human figure with an elephants head, sitting in a Buddha position with her head turned so that I could only see the profile of her face and trunk and tusks, there in the center of the star. She was oddly 2-dimensional and it wasn't as if she was an entity, more like a relief or a painting. The thing had no "feeling" of an entity. It simply rotated in a circle, upside down then rightside up, and then I was back.

Someone in the Nexus chat stated that the figure sounded like Ganesha, which it very much resembled (although I continue to insist the figure I saw was female), and I did chuckle when I read that Ganehsa is considered to be Lord of New Beginnings. This was a hell of a beginning: a beginning step into psychedelics, into DMT, and into challenging my reality.

Back on Earth
Laying back in bed, I felt this amazing feeling of peace and euphoria which I dubbed "afterglow" after seeing that word mentioned on this forum somewhere. It seemed very appropriate. I tried to describe the experience to my girlfriend who at this point was looking rather concerned by my muttering and foolish grinning. I think she was worried I had fried myself into a happy-go-lucky vegetable.

I recall trying to describe the "fractal" and ever-changing landscape of light, but was quickly very frustrated at how inept I was at conveying the awesomeness of the experience. We both got up and I walked around the house, talked to some of you on the Nexus chat, and got a glass of water. I was feeling both very excited, very peaceful from the afterglow, but also very frustrated. I was having a very difficult time keeping a grasp on this experience I just had. Not a crisis of emotion or experience, but of recollection.

Trying to Remember
This is a problem which I am intimately familiar with: when an experience is so profound or intense that your brain chooses to discard it. I have encountered this particular problem with recollection several times, most applicably while learning to skydive, and later when trying to recall the exact events of a plane-crash I was involved in.

I know from my experiences that it is not a problem that only I encounter; in skydiving one of the first tests you're given is to recall how many fingers the instructor was holding up whenever you leave the plane for the first time. Let me tell you I've never seen a student get it right, even when they're told ahead of time the will be asked. These events are so stressful that your brain kicks into fight or flight and puts remembering on the back burner. It took dozens of skydives before I was able to, with any accuracy, describe to my coaches and instructors what occurred on the jump: how many flips I did leaving the plane, or who was the low man in the formation; really trivial questions that should have been easily answered but were completely erased by the adrenaline-fueled experience.

To be confronted with it now was actually making me angry. I just had a very intense metaphysical experience, and dammnit I want to remember it all!

I decided the best way to deal with this was the same manner in which I dealt with it in skydiving: experience, experience, experience. I loaded up a larger dose of 60mg DMT in a caapi sandwich, said adieu to the Nexus chat, and retired to my bed alone this time.

Round Two
Same setting as before, but absent a sitter. I took a champion hit off the pipe. Same incredible heat in my head, slightly uncomfortable this time. I laid back my head and started getting the same kaleidoscopic lightshow. Still in control of my faculties, I took another monster hit.

While smoking, the flame of the lighter became crystalline, like looking at a bonfire through a wall of glass. Amazed with this, I leaned back and took in my room. The entire room had shifted. It was now brighter, sleeker. All of the same fixtures were present but they looked incredibly "clean and precise". It was like my bedroom had become a doctors office of the future. All of the walls, fixtures, doors were covered in small green markings. The symbol was like a central line with two bent T shapes on either side of it. This pattern was repeated throughout everything.

As I surveyed the room I began getting enveloped in this neon-green light, also composed of this same symbol. It was rolling over my like an ocean wave, these pure waves of energy and spinning symbols, though I don't know where they were emanating from. All of this happened with my eyes wide-open, mind you. I remember rubbing my thighs, my whole body feeling incredibly warm and heavy and blissful. I kept saying "This is hyper real, I feel so great, this is perfect."

I remember thinking about this great spiritual unity (but I don't recall what specifically brought this thought about). It was a marvelous sense of oneness with everything. I also recall feeling like this was very familiar, and there was a moment of connection with a flickering of mental images I can't remember right now when I realized that this experience reminded me of being in a dream. I made a sort of mental note that these two things, DMT and dreaming, shared remarkable similarities in both their wonderland aspect and in the difficulty in recalling them.

I was now coming down and feeling the afterglow. Of course, I figured I still had more in the pipe. I took another hit. The room expanded. The dresser at the end of my bed grew. Unlike before where it had become tribal and then later futuristic, the room took on a sort of Ionic demeanor. The dresser vanished to show tall precisely-cut columns, the walls appears like marble or stone of some sort. I was enveloped, completely encased, in pink light. It was warm, then hot, and I felt both love and in incredible sexual energy. I recall feeling "shamed" that I was being aroused by this experience, but I'm not sure why I felt that way. The sexual temple that was my room eventually faded, but I do not recall what took place next.

My only other recollection before I completely came down was being "pinned down" by what seemed to be a blue orb hovering over me. This all occurred with open-eyes, I think (but definitely cannot be sure as I don't recall noticing my body) but I saw nothing of the location I was in except this orb. As odd as it sounds it was "super-soaking" me, I felt like this orb was trying to water me down or wash me with this blue cannon of energy. It didn't feel like an entity, or any intelligence, but like I had wandered into a hyperspace car-wash. It was very mechanical in method and incredibly surreal.

I got up out of bed at this point, still feeling the effects but noticeably diminished. I left the room with the intention of returning to the Nexus chat, but I noticed my 5 year old on the couch where he had fallen asleep watching "How To Tame Your Dragon". The blue-green light from the TV with the influence of the DMT afterglow gave the room a completely other-worldly feel and he looked absolutely gorgeous. I realized just how much I really loved this kid and I crawled up next to him on the couch and hugged him for several minutes. I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair and just basked in the beauty that is this perfect little boy. Of course his mother walked back into the room, and not realizing I had gotten out of bed, about had a heart attack when she saw a man sitting over her son. Her blood-curdling scream pretty much shook me out of the euphoria I was feeling, but we both had a good laugh.

The Techno-Mage
I got back up and returned to the computer room where I chatted with several of you folks in the Nexus Chat. I was feeling pretty good, but still frustrated about the recollection issue. I was also slightly put off that it hadn't been what I was expecting. I was having these great, profound experiences but I so far had only experienced my own immediate environment (although profoundly shifted). Where were the alien landscapes and playful entities? Surely there were still boundaries to be pushed!

I loaded up 65mgs and took another leap, back turned to the PC monitor in an otherwise dark room. I don't recall what happened immediately after the hit, but I ended up having an incredibly pronounced trip while typing in the Nexus chat. I was relating events as they occurred.

I recall describing an experience from my second trip where I "relived" a childhood experience. I do not recall sitting here now what that experience was, only that it involved my father and may have been the origin of that peculiar "familiar" feeling I had experienced. The one rather unique thing about this trip in my computer room is that, because I was focusing on the PC it was incredibly grounded. I knew where I was, what I was doing, but it was definitely DMT-flavored.

The PC screen was three-dimensional. I had a hard time reading because a single word would just repeat over and over and over across the screen and at numerous depths and angels. I would focus on the next word and it too would duplicate. Every time I typed a message I felt like I was being drug into this three-dimensional screen by the word as it fired off into the internet. Several of the people in the chat basically indicated I was squandering a hyperspace experience by being grounded to my PC (which I honestly agreed with), and I began to feel a bit guilty that there might be untold worlds opening behind my back while my face was buried in this PC. I recognized that I was being faced by a dualism: I could document in entirety this diminished experience, or lose myself in a powerful experience which I might later forget. I felt very torn by this dilemma.

Wrap-up and Reflection
In all I had four very distinct trips in three different settings, with a total of about 165mg of freebase DMT. After all of this was done, I felt very excited about the prospects that DMT holds in my future, confused by some of the experiences I had encounted, slightly ashamed that in my haste to document my experiences and share with others I neglected some of the experience, and frustrated that it wasn't the mind-shattering, alternate-reality, meet God experience I had built up in my head. I was also frustrated by the relative brevity of the experiences, I wanted to stay longer in hyperspace and absorb more of that energy and information. I believe it was a completely positive experience in my life and I have very little reservation about partaking again in the future.

Where I Plan to Go from Here
I have further extractions already underway, as well as a 10x caapi concentration I will use to infuse my first 2g batch of changa. I am hoping the changa will contribute to a more "breakthrough" experience and a longer duration. I WANT to be humbled, damn it. I believe more emphasis on a proper setting is necessary, and proper isolation as well. I spent too much time interacting with my surroundings and not surrendering to the experience. Above all I plan to continue to take large doses as effectively as I can, whenever I feel the call. There is definitely something to this majestic spice and it's awesome gifts, and I will not be satisfied until I've explored it further.

Thank you all for reading. Please comment with your thoughts and critiques. I appreciate this community and I would greatly appreciate your input.

HighSpeedDirt,

Thank you for sharing your first DMT and psychedelic experiences. It is a truly amazing medicine. You are on your way and I am sure you will find what you are looking for and more , . . . . or at least find what you actually deeply need. DMT has that way about it. . . .

I would encourage you to take your time. You have plenty of time. Digest, write down, integrate each trip. Meditate. Eat and sleep. Digest it in multiple ways. Lock in memories via recording and repetition. I find that really big doses, multiple doses and doses preceded by cannabis = crappy DMT trip memory for me.

Just keep posting and you will be promoted. You just need to give Nexus moderators a chance to get to know you a tiny bit. I'm sure it will happen relatively soon.

Thanks again for sharing some amazing experiences.

The key is a vaporizer and takes some time getting used to. It also works much better and is much easier to use with changa.

Thank you for taking the time to share all of this. I wonder, but it sounds like from your descriptions that you had your eyes open for most of the experiences. It also sounds like you're trying to be outward directed, engaging with your girlfriend, typing into chat. None of these things are conducive to breakthroughs, particularly until you get a sense of how to give way into them.

Good luck getting your technique down. Darkness, silence, eyes closed.

I agree completely. In my inexperience I feel like I denied myself some of the grandeur by involving my physical environment.

It's always good to experiment in a mindful way, and it sounds like you had a great time getting your feet wet. Everyone finds their own way, but some things help make a solid connection.

That was an interesting trip report, HighSpeedDirt; it was very detailed and descriptive. I do wonder, though, as to what kind of pipe you are using. From various reports of GVG users, only a small amount of spice is needed.

The pipe I am using is a small metal ganja pipe (I know, ew, metal and all that jazz.) I've never really been involved with any drugs in the past and this is what I have to work with. I may spring for a water pipe (is bong the right terminology?) from the local headshop in preparation for this weekend. I'm sure there are much more effective methods of dosing than dmt sandwiched between caapi leaves, but frankly I'm just excited that it finally worked. Now that I know what to expect, I can start working to refine my technique. The wonderful thing is that since DMT is so inexpensive and easy to extract, I don't feel bad experimenting with it.

You sound very enthusiastic about this molecule ( It's not a drug at all) I'm also a novice, but the sooner you stop looking around the room, etc. the better, just lay back, close your eyes and allow yourself to die a "temporary death* You'll be back for sure, but with a totaly different story to tell. <the Glass vapour Genie may reduce your consumption by half ( by the sound of it)
By the way I'm also a skydiver! ( freefly)

best wishes

Welcome aboard! I have to mirror the others in saying that paying attention to not paying attention to external stimuli will get you MUCH further, as will a more effective ROA. Maybe turn your caapi into some enhanced leaf for next time? A large hit from a bong (indeed the correct terminology ) will get you very far indeed. Yeesh, I'm getting chills just thinking how far 65mg would get me!

Since starting using Spice i have begun meditational practise, which has really helped with surrendering to the experience, as well as clearing the mind and slowing heart rate. Maybe that would help with internalising the experience? Not that the open eyed experience isn't awesome, but the most profound effects I find are after a time meditating and centering myself.

Best of luck with future expeditions! The rabbit hole goes much deeper than you can imagine!

In terms of helping to remember the experience often times if I see something so mind blowing, I will make a very conscious effort to pick out a particular detail of what I'm seeing. I will usually pick out several from a trip, and if I'm lucky, being able to recall these few details later may stir up memories of other details I had neglected. I think part of the problem with remembering (among many other things) is that if DMT simply dropped you into a "hyper room" and just that one place (as it may do in weaker experiences or loops) then it's not quite so hard to remember. Unfortunately in the more interesting experiences it has to offer, I find that it can drop you into that same room which then transforms into something completely different which transforms into something else which transforms into something else...and by the time you're done, you've wound up somewhere entirely differently than where you started, and it's quite difficult to remember all the things in between, and often times even the beginning.

your effort and patience made this great experience , thanks for sharing