Its hard for me to explain it is a really really nice feeling like I am really body stoned and just melting into the chair but at the same time its a little too heavy like I don't have control over whether or not I want to move its almost like I'm pinned down ( I'm not I have stood up and walked around a few times).
I think its more of a fear of letting go.
Back in high school I misused lady salvia ALOT and now I can't even touch salvia or I freak out.
Thats what happens when you disrespect such powerful tools I guess.
A lot has changed since high school too when I had no fear, no worries, no one I really cared about but myself.
Now I have a family and I think a lot of the fear of blasting off comes from worrying I won't come back, even though I know I will, its still in the back of my mind.
Salvia taught me a rough lesson thats for sure now I hope one day I can go all the way with Spice...
I've only had one really strong experience on spice, I don't really consider it a full breakthrough but I was definitely somewhere deeper than I had been previously.
It was utterly beautiful I saw reality as an entity that loved me, in a way no one could ever love another person, much deeper. It showed me strands of DNA and much more, I was at peace and felt so amazing....
yet I am still afraid to go further.
'Little spider weaves a wispy web, stumblin' through the woods it catches to my head. She crawls behind my ear and whispers secrets. Dragonfly whiz by and sings now teach it.'