Namaste!

So I met a new girl. A real godess! But.. there are a few mental problems.

She is suffering from anxiety that was triggered about a year ago when she tried smoking weed. This is generic anxiety, about anything but perhaps mostly social interactions. She was on SSRI for this a while before we met but it didn't do her any good.

So what to do? I was once in a somewhat similar state after a first really difficult psychedelic experience, which was worked out during the following sessions. From my perspective she is lingering there half opened in a what Grof would call a spiritual emergency and I think a good trip would probably work it out. She is curious, but seemingly somewhat scared of psychedelics since most of her/our friends are into it, but I'm very reluctant to influence her in that way due to the risk of screwing her up even more. Especially since I once had another unstable GF who went psychotic for a week after deciding to do a high dose of acid...

She is working on this with a lot of yoga and meditation and basically anything related. I think that is all good but honestly, progress is slooow.

Besides the anxiety she is struggling with some body related issues, seemingly from prior bad experiences; an eating disorder and some sexual hangups.

I'm thinking of at least suggesting MDMA, whenever I stumble on some, it's not circulating among the grownups here I think that would be safe and should give her an opportunity to work out some of the stress/issues. This idea leads to the idea whether one might as well throw in some sort of psychedelic if MDMA is to be ingested anyways. I know a lot of us are puritans when it comes to such "cheating" and I agree it's not as beneficial. But considering the circumstances..

Any OTHER ideas here?

And comments on the stuff above?

Hey

Sorry to hear about your girlfriends anxiety issues. I hope she gets better soon.

I found that MDMA made my anxiety worse. I eventually gave up all the substances I was using habitually in a drastic attempt to get rid of anxiety, and so far it has worked perfectly. Often it is the case that time and patience with ones self is the best cure.
Make sure she stays away from caffeine.

Of course everyone is different and will respond to treatments in various different ways.

Hope that helps
Much love,
Sally xx

Mmmh... it's really delicate issue to try and cure someone else's psychological problems...

personnally, i would be wary of giving her any psychedelics, and i think MDMA has quite a slippery comedown. I would stick with a relaxing substance, maybe a high quality sedating kratom extract (beware: there is a potential for addiction), and give her some good massages. Or maybe a good sport where you have to face your anxiety and then get a good fun rush, bungee jumping or sky diving.

As Sally said, make sure she never drinks coffee and even tea, and not too much sugar.

Hope she gets better quick!

Oh, Thanks for the warning Sally.

Typical shaman wannabes to try and fix the problems with some substance I guess MDMA cure removed from the list and she is already off all intoxicants except tea.

I also think she will work it out eventually. Not sure I will endure tagging along for the ride though if I don't see improvements. I've been on this train before and with time that time the social anxiety eventually got to me too.

I agree, very delicate. I would give her all the information about everything you think may help her, and let he decide what is best for her. Sounds like something in her mind she has yet to acknowledge or refuses to acknowledge based on denial, fear, whatever it may be. Perhaps she is simply not ready yet, for I think that if she were the seeking would be done by her, not by you! Also it is probably redundant to yourself, but personally I will not try to repair any psychologically damaged persons I am in a romantic relationship with. I may attempt such a thing for a friend, but never someone I was involved with. I have tried before in my early arrogant days, and ended up causing a lot more harm than good.

Thanks Rooftop. Really avoid tea too, even if she doesn't recognize it worsening the symptoms?

I think I will skip the relaxants too unless I see a real emergency and there are no doctors. For now I'm only subscribing her Omega-3 since I read that a deficiency can make it worse and she is a vegetarian.

I know she is the owner of the problem and in the end the only one who can work it out.. not easy to stand by watching though.. such a pity that her enormous potential is locked up under these layers of crap and I have a problem solving mind so when I found out it was actually activated by (mild)psychedelics I thought I'd check here if anyone had experience.

You're welcome

Just as a warning, overcoming anxiety can be a long process depending on the severity and causes of the anxiety. If she can identify a reason for her anxiety she is already on the road to recovery. Although there doesn't necessarily need to be a cause, anxiety can just happen.

Tea contains caffeine as well.

Just remember: Patience, Patience, Patience

Much love
Sally xx

You could always simply say the above to nudge her along that path, but I wouldn't refer to the hangups as 'crap.'(even though it is, haha) Eventually she will 'sit down' metaphorically and face whatever it is. People who are not ready to change themselves will avoid it until the time of their choosing. It is possible that a psychedelic substance would bring it out without her conscious desire to do so, which could be more harmful if she is not ready to cope with that or integrate it. Personally if my life was as such, I would risk it, hell if only to fulfill some masochistic impulse for the week. Great potential for positive learning hides in even the most horrific experience.

Yeah.. just for the record I would never suggest psychedelics to her, or anyone actually. That decision has to be made by oneself. I'm even a little disturbed by the mere fact that I'm so into it myself so I'm kind of a living promotion of it.

I did try suggest her joining me for a holotropic breathwork workshop though. I'm figuring that since she is already really committed and pushing hard with yoga and meditation she is already going through a slow motion breakthrough and issues will eventually emerge and have to be integrated.

I tried to have her consult a yoga teacher with the issues (which she by the way herself identifies with her spiritual work) but since she doesn't do this work at a specific place (but everywhere at the same time.. we both seem to be ADD she doesn't feel close enough to any one of the teachers to talk about this.

Oh yes, goodbye, tea!

The problem with tea and coffee is that many drinkers have lost some sensitivity and fail to see the after effects it has on them. I rarely drink any, and the pattern of effects is clear to me: first couple hours are euphoric/energetic/chatty, then euphoria wears off and leaves me slighly edgy/nervous/agressive, with some thoughts that are more dark and violent than usual, and minor tensions in the muscles. These unpleasant after effects can linger into the next day, and i notice them only because i observe and am sincere with myself.
But daily drinkers with whom i spoke about this don't always acknowledge it, even though i can clearly see the same unfolding pattern of effects taking place in them. They usually recognize the thumping heartbeat though.

That tea is surely not helping her, and you could probably easily find some medical publication that confirms this.

Personally i can see her anxiety being easily treated if she does weight training and aerobic exercise on alternating days , with a rest day, with a high protein diet, vitamin b complex, vitamin c, magnesium, etc.
-The exercise would ensure the best absorbtion of the nutrients, and burn off the stress hormones, as well as stimulating the production of endorphines.

-Body for life is a great book!

-She will sleep better, have a better self esteem. and be able to address her issues in a more positive state of mind.

-I know it sounds boring, but it works, and she will look, and feel a lot better.

-It's better for her to eat 6 small meals, than 3 big ones, and to use whey protein in between meals,etc..

-It has always got me back on track, and i've been through a lot worse!!

-hope this helps, chris.

I guess you are right. I quit coffee for a year and after a while I found myself amongst a bunch of speedfreaks running around the office (After some months the smell of fresh coffee even went from heavenly to disgusting!) I got hooked again eventually though..

I'll try to point her to some caffeine avoidance info.

Thanks for the support everyone <3

Thanks Christian, this is already covered, except maybe some details on the vitamins. I think she eats about 6 times too, lot of sandwiches though, part of her eating disorder. Already in therapy for bulimia nervosa .. seems like ALL girls that open up to me nowdays have this problem, including my sister

The looks are already 10/10 btw

If someone has a persisting psychological problem after having taken any drug, it might be that the drug just triggered something that was already latently present.

If you take the problem serious enough to post on it here, i would consider professional help. At least she could consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist to find out whether she would need such help. If her problems are like the minor issues everyone has, then a psychologist would just say "you're fine, you don't need therapy".

I'm not a psychologist, but even if i where a psychologist i wouldn't diagnose anyone by what her boyfriend posted on the web. I do know however that many serious psychiatric disorders like depressions, anxiety disorders or psychosis can be triggered by cannabis use and gradually worsen.

Serious psychiatric disorders are often preceded by things like an irregular sleeping pattern, eating disorders, changes in social behaviour, depressed feelings or anxiety, etc.

A profesional who can speak to her face to face should be able to see the signs of this and if there's nothing to worry about, give some tips on how to deal with the problems that she has.

If you feel that she has mental problems, consulting a profesional is better than quitting tea. Tea is quite healthy actually. Especially green tea, wich also calms the nerves.

Try a blend of Hypericum (essentail oil) and Hibiscus (infusion).

Once before bed, it acts as a natural serotonine regulator and contains no cafeine. The effects can usually be felt after a week of taking this blend every night.

Also, 5 drops of Oregano essential oil under the tongue every morning should help her body fight physical problems. She needs your attention and your love and your patience, provide it to her, with all the love you can give, love is more powerful than anything, give her what she asks for.

-But my absolute suggestion is a REAL trip, not a psychedelic one... Go visit the Chiapas or the Machu Picchu, have an ayahuasca ritual. Go together to a trance/electronic festival (Shambala in august?)... Create an event that will reset her state of mind and start from scratch.

Good luck to both of you
Peace and Mucho mucho love

It all depends on how serious her symptoms are. If it's realy not a big deal anyway you can do all the things mentioned above without having to realy fear any harm from them. If it's realy a serious problem that has a huge impact on her life, then i realy would urge you to convince her to go see a shrink. Just doctoring yourself and changing diets is not gonna be of any help with real serious problems and could even worsen the situation if you would start self-medicating.

In cases of serious doubt, a shrink is the first one to offer a clear diagnosis and if you're lucky that diagnosis is "you're alright, just take it all a little lighter".

"she is a vegetarian"

Most western vegetarian diets are bullshit. People cut out the meat and then just eat everything else like normal. I was vegetarian for a long time and ate normally, just avoided meat. I ate whole grain breads and stuff and some lentils and nuts..I still felt deficient and fucked up from it. In my opionion the only way to thrive on a vegetarian diet is to just eat a raw vegan diet made up of at least 80% fresh fruits and tons of greens..that is just me though.. If you dont eat meat, and arent eating tons of nuts every day and you cook your vegetables etc than where are you going to get the proper ammount of amino acids?..cooked greens wont supply them..

I know that in my case the only time I really began to feel fully balanced is when I went completely raw vegan..and cut out ALL forms of processed sugars, salts..all additives, preservatives etc..basically I just eat tons and tons of raw fruit and vegetables all day, and sometimes I eat some sprouted lentils or chick peas if I feel I need dense food.

I dunno if that is her thing, but when I hear about people that are vegetarians having anxiey, low energy, chronic sickness etc I tend to suddenly think about the diet of the typical vegetarian. Alot of people just decide to not eat meat, yet they never really become educated about how to properly take care of the body on a vegan/vegetarian diet. A western diet with a simple absense of meat is a horrible horrible approximation of a balanced vegetarian diet.

I have had bad anxiety periodically in my life, and in my case diet played a huge role.

For the simple question of 'What do I do?', I propose a simple answer of be supportive and caring.

I'm in a long-running relationship with a woman that was bulimic throughout most of elementary/middle school, is bi-polar, and suffers from seizures for which cannabis is, ironically, the most effective preventative remedy ^^ So, I can relate to the frustrations that such medical maladies can present in an interpersonal relationship.

I also can relate to chronic anxiety issues from first-hand, continuing experience. Exercise, diet, and talking through help. Entheogens have never helped me with anxiety, not even in the slightest bit. Is your GF asking you to help and for your opinion on what she could do? If she is not doing so and you are initiating talk of potential remedies, I would advise you to immediately stop. Doing so could potentially be making the issues worse despite the fact that she would likely never tell you so.

What I can't relate to is the feeling of weighing the worth of a relationship on the progress of medical condition improvement, and so I respectfully ask if you are certain as to your intent to want to help speed this process along. It's not unreasonable to link her bulimia recovery to her anxiety. Purging is a coping mechanism. When that mechanism is removed from one's routine, the issues no longer being coped with will often present through generalized anxiety. As at least one other has mentioned in such a situation, professional help would be more advisable than experimental entheogen therapy.

You have a desire to fix your GF's problems, but such actions generally serve only to foster a sense of dependence. If you seek a co-dependent relationship then you are certainly on the right track and I do wish you the best of luck. If, however, you desire a relationship based on mutual respect and trust, I would advise you to allow the person best suited to resolve her issues to do so. That person is she, aided along with the unconditional support of those close to her.

"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie." - William Shakespeare

I'Ve had week long anxiety attacks from weed. Really horrible.
Then it passed and a while later, i got anxiety attacks for like a year non stop.

Let me tell you this: The weed is just the trigger. The other problems she got are propably sustaining them.

Best would be to work on her problems. Then, the anxiety will pass.

It's good she is already trying relaxation, but propably with the mindset "I want to be not anxious". That doesn't workk really well. The key to this is to "silently acknowledge" the anxiety while at the same time starting to not give a damn about it any longer.

A better diet is always advisable. I'd also cut out all stimulants. More fruits and vegetables also helped me, even though i did not go completely raw. I also noticed that cutting out industrial food and crystaline sugar is really important.

good luck to her

...perhaps a short vacation in nature with a good book might help. It is hard to stay anxious around peaceful beauty.