My first combined Pharma/Change.
Changa: 533 mgs caapi leaf, 100mgs spice, 50mgs caapi harmala powdered extract.
Pharma dose size: 50 mgs caapi extract, and 25mgs spice.
I took 50 mgs of caapi and dissolved it into orange juice and drank it. 10 minutes later I did the same with 25mgs spice. About 15 minutes later the slightest hint of nausea showed up and I knew my body was absorbing the goodies.
I intentionally dosed very low because I had Change on hand which I could use to bump the experience. I'm not a hard head typically and doses that I break through with do nothing to others...so I always er on the side of caution.
A few minutes later (probably about 5-10) my wife went to bed and I proceeded to light all the candles in the living room and then sat down on the floor to meditate and bring the experience on. As I closed my eyes and began to slow my breath down to about 2 breaths per minute I began to see the visions. They were pretty faint, but with deeper meditation the brightness increased. Initially the visions were pretty typical fractal visions. I was seeing things like fractal snakes (show up a lot for me), and other colorful closed eye animations. About 40 minutes into the experience I decided it was the appropriate time to take the first changa bump.
Before the changa bump there weren't really any open eye visuals to speak of...but there was an incredible euphoria....it easily surpassed any MDMA experience I've ever had. It was like the small dose pharma alone was ecstasy...I'm will repeat that experiment this weekend. Anyway... As I released my exhale from the changa the entire room and visual field began to tremble and shake as the world around me began to peel itself back one light filled hexagon at a time. Simultaneously I felt an energy begin moving from my base chakra up my spine. I immediately knew this was Kundalini as I've experienced it one other time on the border between waking and sleeping. I then realized the regular world had dissolved around me and I was alone with the Kundalini slowing moving up my spine. The euphoria began to multiple and I felt as though I was going to literally burst wide open with tears of joy. As I tried to contain myself I felt the Kundalini reach my brain and then slightly back off. I laid back on the floor and went into a trance mode were I perceived the Buddhist wheel of life and death. The perception was of various lives that I could have had or that others could have had. I didn't have a strong ownership of the lives I was seeing, but I did have a strong sense of continuity for the lives I was shown. I became aware that evolution was just one steady march towards greater and greater perception of God. The ultimate goal of evolution is to literally return home to the constant awareness that all is He/She/It/Nirvana. I was shown love by a tree as I watched the old giant being cut down. This greatly saddened me until I realized that it was just another step in evolution of the awareness that was once a tree...this gave me great joy! I immediately knew that trees are very aware, just in a different way than we are. They grow and move towards the sun...that's awareness! It didn't stop there though. Everything is part of awareness...there isn't anything outside of 'awareness'. Rocks included.
I was also keenly aware that literally everything in the entire world was not only OK, but it was exactly as it was supposed to be and that I should only concern myself with playing my role. This in no way meant that I shouldn't strive to make the world better....in fact we all should. I was shown how the planets consciousness was now becoming global with the rise of the internet. Literally everything we put into words on the internet becomes a part of this global consciousness. Because of this I feel a very deep responsibility for the words I add to discussions. It is our duty to avoid negativity and simultaneously support the positive. This has already resulted in me rethinking several posts and ultimately deleting a few instead of posting them. During this whole time I felt like the only part of my body that was me was my nervous system. I was at all times perfectly aware of every neuron in my body vibrating with an utterly indescribably joy.
After 30 minutes of watching these visions I sat up and decided I wanted to push it a little further with one more hit of Changa. Before I did so I again steadied my breath (This is harder than you think when you are under the influence). I then picked up the vaporizer and took another solid hit. This time I was aware of the energy in my spine before I started...and as I released it I felt the energy descent back down my spine and I began to wonder what was happening. Then I felt the entire room begin to tremble and out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright white light begin to descend towards me. Then in split second I felt a surge of energy rush up my spine and completely consume me. I was rocketed into the clear light of God. My entire body was trembling for a moment and then I remember hearing a pop as I felt my consciousness stretch to infinity while my awareness shrank to the atomic level. The part of me called 'I' was no more. When I finally came out of the light (~20 minutes later) I realized that I was laying face down in prayer position with tears literally running down my face. I was enraptured with worship for all of creation. I can't describe the love that I felt in that moment....only that I knew I wasn't ready to feel it like that. I have much more meditation work to do. I also intuitively knew that this was but a taste of the real love of God...or Nirvana....call it what you will I honestly don't think it/he/she cares what we call it. The only thing that is certain in my mind is that IT is and IT is all that there is.
For the next hour I slowly came down, but the euphoria remained. I eventually went to bed 4 hours after the initial ingestion. When I woke up the next day the euphoria was still there and it was unshakable. Today a full 5 day's later I can still feel a moderate euphoria that seems to emanate form my heart chakra region.
I'm deeply grateful for this entire community. The work that everyone has done to make these experience accessible to the new comers is worthy of praise. I have no idea if the world is ready for DMT/Changa/Pharam/Aya in a massive way or not, but I feel that it is coming. I can only hope that most people have experiences of divine love like I had.
This experience rivaled and perhaps equaled the only other true clear light immersion I've had and that was with achieved with Kriya Pranayama and about 3 grams of cubes.
Beyond that I have a deeper appreciation of joy and calmness about the world. This is the longest after glow I've ever experienced....5 day's now and It doesn't seem to be letting up. If I just stop and focus for even a few seconds on how awesome the world is I get a peaceful easy feeling that sort of envelops me. Negative thoughts are easily cast aside and replaced with humbleness, respect and love.
The primary thing I brought back was a deep sense of love for us all. Everyone single being from the tinniest Ant to the tallest tree is your brother. Please respect not just what we scientists call life, but respect everything from the rocks to the rivers, to the air, to the cock roaches. For anything that you hold in disgust or resentment is only a reflection of something inside you that you are not at ease with yet. Everything is as it should be. Just trust in the power of divine love and roll with the punches...what other choice do any of us really have?
There were many many parts to the experience, but most of them are deeply personal and I feel that it does nothing to add to the report. There was never a purge....but each time I bumped the changa there was a moment of nausea that quickly faded.
peace and love.
If your religion, faith, devotion, or self proclaimed spirituality is not directly leading to an increase in kindness, empathy, compassion and tolerance for others then you have been misled.