Uncle Knucles wrote:Happy to have you. Welcome to the nexus.
thank you, glad to be here
joedirt wrote:Sounds like you will fit right in around these parts.
You say you don't do drugs any more. Have you ever done DMT or is it something you want to do or do you just have a intellectual interest in the compound?
Cheers
I hope so.
and yes i do _say_ i dont do drugs
- nah i really dont. honest. smoke a bit now and then, drink a bit, but nothing really. I probably would again though if it was legal.
Heh, I have done _lots_ of dmt, and extracted lots as well. i used to do too much drugs. thats not cool
-- I know I am admitting to previous crimes here, and that isnt cool, but if this gets read out in court or something, I know I wont have been arrested for/with any drugs or the such. it will just be this statement - and as everyone knows everything people post on the internet is true and honest
I have quite odd views on it to be honest. My views might be controversial with some, i am not trying to be. they might also seem contradictory. they probably are. im not too sure how one gets ones views. i try to think them out and address logical fallacies in them though if i can. if I cant i call them beliefs.
my opinions and ideas are always subject to change. - like life really.
I like trying to be objective as possible about things and can sometimes play devils advocate a bit too hard.
I will try to outline a bit of my previous 'history' with recreational drugs and a little of what i think. i hope this gives you some insight.
so i have always grown up with the idea that lsd is this mind bending substance that could make you hallucinate so hard that you become one of the many urban legends. this was never my experience. I always found that the visuals were alright but it was more like a mental illness than 'fun' or 'enlightening' i did try very hard though and did quite a lot of acid. i did really stupid things like take 600-800ug and stuff. i cooked my head for a couple of years and left it alone.
i got involved with the dance scene and then pills. at this point i was still pretty amazed with drugs in general and not too bothered about analysis or potential for theraputic use, self development, possible spiritual enlightenment, etc.
ketamine kinda changed that for me and i started calming down (the criminal justice act also had quite a bit to do with it)
i got sick of ketamine, it promises so much, gives so little and is so so ugly. but it had shown me the way to not 'recreational' drug taking and hedonism but to the possibility i could use drugs to find out more about my mind and body - a bit like computer hacking for the mind. i still hold this philosophy, and have a real passion for pharmacodynamics and pharmacokinetics but i am nothing more than a blind amateur in these fields. (i read about them a lot though)
so i was drug free for quite a few years.
i then accidentally stumbled upon dmt and thought why not. the rest is history.
ultimately though i have done ounces of dmt and seen some amazing places, felt some amazing things ... things there will never be words for... things that I think changed my life and outlook.
saying all this though and in relation to myself only. i cannot speak for others dmt is such a personal thing. i do not now days believe there is any spiritual enlightenment to be had from it. nor do i believe that their are any external influences or inputs i am suddenly picking up on. I think I am interfering with an essential part of brain function [like strausmann says in DMT the spirit molecule - it might be replacing serotonin as a neruo transmitter] and it is just getting 'battered on drugs' and dmt was just triggering a 'spiritual receptor' in the brain, like there are receptors that make you happy. it is an illusion of what is, it still might be what is, but dmt is just an illusion, like a mirage.
that last paragraph sounds a lot worse than it is. i am not a skeptic and i would love for there to be more. I am not saying it doesnt do those things, just it is my current belief that for me it doesnt - this is based off my experience. i do not judge people who do think that it could or does do those things. it is your life enjoy it
Its just there is so many other weird and wonderful things happening and we can get somewhere with experimentally with these. it makes dmt really quite frustrating. it so hard to experimentally do anything with dmt, i cant even describe the trip to myself and i was the one who had it!
I really hope that makes sense.
i have seen too much on dmt for my mind to have been making it all up. yet i feel i have to come to the conclusion that it must have been.
heh, just as well this is the essays forum i tend to write long posts.
thp.