words are a challenge for me lately. i find myself avoiding conversations even with people i know and love. i don't write at all. my email inbox has about 50 starred items to be responded to....yet...i simply can't stomach trying to convey my feelings with their myriad meanings into such a crude and painfully insufficient medium as 'words'. i find myself more and more wanting to simply sit with people. no talking. just being present. it's hard...

the world for me has changed. my experience of life and, more distinctly, my fellow human has been shifted to a place of great vulnerability...and great power. i 'see' people in a way i never knew i could, or had only seen glimpses of in abstract hyperspace downloads. the multitude of things once sensed yet now being in my continual waking consciousness has me both invigorated and a little freaked out still. i most definitely have moments in every day where i wish i could just go back to how i was. to that unfulfilled, frustrating, familiar life. at least i knew on some level what was always coming next!

last weekend something quite amazing took place. something i want to share with you all...

for some time now, i have worked with people here in my healing space. i am committed to transformation and the courageous souls who walk this path. i have put all of my resources, financial, emotional, physical and spiritual into creating an environment that would bring about the deepest sense of peace and completely handle the 'setting' aspect of a positive journey.

i wasn't exactly sure how to handle another person's 'set' , so i simply focussed on the space and my own work- that i might be at the very least a living representation of the positive growth that DMT is capable of facilitating.

...and then i went to the jungle....

i came back new. complete. lost but with an undeniable cargo. my teachers told me as much and made it clear that i would need to return many times to learn how to wield this 'jaguar on a chain' . it was made understood that as long as i held on and never let the chain go (ie: try to go back to an old life that was no longer there anyways) i would have this power within me that i could use to clear all blockages and, more importantly, to heal.

if i let go of the chain...the jaguar would immediately turn around and consume me. (ie: madness).

so back to the story. one of my clients here had given my name to a group of amazing individuals that were planning a deep meditation retreat in northern california and were looking for a 'guide' to facilitate. i committed to do this work a few weeks before leaving for costa rica. i thought it would be great to bring the teachings i could glean from the seicoya back and add them to my already-established style.

i had no idea i was going to go through what i went through.

i thought about cancelling. i really did. how could i go do something that would require so much of myself when i was in such a state?? i needed more time to integrate. i needed so much.... i just wasn't ready..

but a voice in me said to go. to be of service. to get out of myself and let what was awakened within me do it's thing. that it would ultimately end up being a part of my integration.

and now the tears come as i type. what it turned out to be was an activation of something i had brought back with me alright. more like a galvanizing of what my heart knew was within...

i did healing work in as much of the seicoya tradition as i had learned. i worked on 20 people over the course of 3 days and each and every one was a world unto themselves. with all of them, i began with a guided meditation based on tantric principles i have long used to awaken my own chakra system and begin the flow of energy throughout the energetic body. a thorough explanation of the technique of journeying i had learned followed the meditation and then, finally, the journey itself.

and then i went to work...

what i channeled through me and allowed to take place with each and every person was sacred and healing for both of us. i learned enough about myself, my path, my gift and my responsiblity to make it plainly clear to even my smallest mind that this is what i am meant to do. the tears, the purging, the healing and transformation of each and every one of these beautiful, righteous brothers and sisters was a gift beyond measure and in the end, i had bonded with a new family. a community as beautiful as the cosmic energy from which they all emerged. i was home.

in one particular journey, a decent-sized dose of spice was left behind in the genie as the person laid back. i thought about it for a moment and was told by my highest self to take it...

i started to breakthrough in a very powerful way and with the last bit of reamining 'me' i had, i asked to be allowed to stay in my body to heal the person who lay before me...

what happened next was truly profound. my entire body disappeared. all i could see was an indescribably beautiful golden outline of my body with nothing within it's borders. i gazed at this in awe and realized that i could enter the person's body in front of me.

i put my hand inside his energetic body and began to 'iron' it! every time my hand went over a major chakra point, i would stop, focus, and literally SEE the chakra open and begin pulsing!! it was incredible and lasted a long time. i returned just before he did and when he sat up, he looked right at me and told me that for the entirety of his journey, he saw my face flowing in and out of him.

we both hugged and cried for a long time. i never dreamed of something like this being possible. i am still moved to this day. as with all the people i worked with, a good 30 minutes or more was spent processing and discussing. only when he was ready did we go downstairs and rejoin the group. it went like this the whole weekend...

an amazingly generous donation was made towards the completion of my healing space back down in l.a. which i promptly did upon return. Uncle Knucles will be taking some pro-style photos soon and posting for all to enjoy....and for all to consider coming for a visit. this is my work now. this is what i am committed to.

DMT has played such a massive role in my awakening. it has taught me things about my self and how to surrender that self when necessary....i simply would have never returned from where i went on that fated night in the jungle. the seicoya told me that my soul was ready to make that journey so deep into the spirit world. that it was so ready, in fact, that it was willing to risk losing the mind attached to it in this life. that the fact that i was able to return after so many lifetimes elsewhere and to have been able to return with my mind was the sign of a healer's path. that what i went through enabled me to now have compassion of ALL beings. because, ultimately, i touched upon the suffering that all souls must go through at some point in their evolution.

you don't go through that just so you can return to this world and say, "hey man, i did it! good luck doing it yourself!" no- it is part and parcel of seeing so much that i must (yes, MUST) help others on their way toward that same crushing-yet-liberating infinity of annihilation. i can't go through it for anyone, obviously. but i CAN help prepare those who are on that path. DMT is the greatest tool i know for this. going deeper and deeper in a clearly-guided way with DMT truly defines plato's command to "practice dying".

i stand for this work.

from this one magical weekend, i have had the pledge from almost all people involved that they will be coming down and working with me on a regular basis. as well- other groups that they are affiliated with have been informed of the success of the weekend and i will be flying to chicago and switzerland in the next couple months to carry on the work. it is sustaining itself now. i simply do my work and commit to being completely present and the rest with resolve itself.

i am going back to the seicoya in july. google 'guaria de osa' and check out their calendar to find the exact dates. i cannot say enough how much it would mean to me to meet more beautiful fellow nexians in this context. heyguyman and saidin are both bonded with me for life as a result of the first council gathering. i will be at them all henceforth so please try to come out to one. these righteous beings are old and won't be around forever....what they have to share and teach will transform your life in a way that no simple DMT journey ever could (with absolutely NO disrespect to the molecule intended!). it is simply much more than imbibing the molecule with these guys....that's only the beginning. what comes next is what your soul has always hungered for, i promise you this...

oh- and the best part of my retreat? every single one of my new community are professional life-coaches! HAHAHA!! so here comes ol' antrocles....all raw and lost and containing something powerful but no idea how to live a life that allows him to give this gift in any sustainable manner and BOOM! he's surrounded by (and healing!) people who all commit to help him become successful on this new path!!!

coincidence?

is there really such a thing?

i love you all very much and i will certainly keep you in the loop as my path unfolds!

with the deepest love and gratitude!!!

Hope you keep writing antrocles its amazing reading your posts, inspiring stuff. Been thinking of south america next year, imagine going all that way and meeting people from the nexus, thatd be great!

Thank you for continually shining your Light. Much Love and many Blessings!

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us, Antrocles.
Although words may feel crude, your descriptions of your process, of your "wayfinding", are very valuable.
I look forward to more unfolding.
L

It's great to hear the update, and I am so happy you live a life devoted to healing.

But I imagined a seething skinwalker reading your post and not finding whatever it is he's looking for.

Antrocles, you,truly inspire me-inspire me to go deeper, and to allow myself to learn from anything and everything. I have never met you, yet I feel true goodness and comfort in reading your stories and posts. I hope to oneday make the journey out to cali to visit your work space, I look forward to the possibility of meeting such a man. Ill bet the world could benefit from more people, with compassion, and the eart you have.

Thank you Antrocles


And Apoc-I was thinking the same thing

fascinating.

i have only the intention and desire to heal. i am also incredibly disciplined and have been my whole life. interestingly, though i did not know of the above information, i have followed the very same dieta i was on in the jungle to this very day. as a matter of fact, i have a pot of boiled black beans, baked yams, plain rice and steamed kale on the stove as we speak. personally, i enjoy bland food like this....especially when i know in my heart (and soul) that it is good for me on all levels of my being.

another interesting thing that happened during my weekend is revealing of my true healing nature as well....

a woman worked with me and while deep in her journey, i began to work at clearing her energy. when i got to her 3rd chakra, i saw a dark, serpentine-like energy that was constricting this area. i immediately went to work clearing this energy...

try as i might, it wasn't moving and intuitively i was told to do something i had seen my master do on someone in costa rica. using sacred mapacho along with some specific icaro techniques, i ultimately took the energy into my own body. IMMEDIATELY i began to cry uncontrollably and felt like i was going to vomit. i even dry-heaved several times. i finished the healing on the woman and when she came back she said she felt amazing. the next day she said she felt like an enormous flow of energy was coursing through her and she hadn't felt so good in years. her partner then told me that they had gone for a walk that morning and that she was incredibly 'confident' and that they wound up making love more passionately than they had in memory. she was just 'stronger' in herself.

3rd chakra opened.

the interesting thing is that i simply did not know how to effectively deal with what i had taken on. after her session i had to be done for the rest of the evening. i had a splitting headache and went to lay down before the evening meal. i wound up passing out almost immediately and could not be roused for dinner. my dreams were tumultuous.

i spent the next morning doing several purification ceremonies on myself (soaking mapacho and snorting the juice in each nostril, breathing copal incense and smoking myself thoroughly with it, doing an hour's worth of chi gong naked on the top of a mountain IN THE SNOW!....and other secret things i had been taught). ultimately, i came down from that mountain strong and ready to help the rest of the group but man! that was a tough one!!

the seicoya elders are masters at inviting others' dark spirits into them and then killing these spirits instantly. as it stands right now, i'm able to do the first part and still need guidance with the second. it's things like these....IMPORTANT things...that keep me committed to continuing my work with my masters. ultimately, i will be able to do the same as them.

as for being a sorcerer....i simply am committed to never letting anything like that happen. i am committed in every cell of my being to helping bring about the growth and evolution of this world. i stand for love and light and only work from this place. if i found myself able to shoot a 'dart' of any kind, i would only do so to help heal. never to harm. i couldn't even kill a fish when i was young (my father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc.. were all fishermen by trade). i am simply not in alignment with dark energies. i am here to help. only.

thanks for sharing that info though, my brother. very interesting stuff!

L&G!!

WoW! Truely facinating. Thank you so much for sharing. antrocles I am so happy for you and happy as well for all who are fortunate enough to cross paths with you.

Thanks again so very much.

Love & Gratitude

IH

Yeah, your a healer now. Everything changes...
Sevices...'humble sevicEs....
More power to you brother...
Bless and be blessed.

wow awesome. this does not surprise me one bit, at it has your destiny written all over it. love you man.

So you cut out all meat now and went vegan antrocles? how does that new diet feel? do you feel more energized and receptive to the medicine? Since I went vegan and then fully raw I have noticed that I my body is more open to these medicines. I recently went 8 days on nothing but fresh homemade fruit and vegetable juices, spring water and some herbal teas like cats claw and dragons blood..and I drank ayahuasca 4 times durring those 8 days..and things happened to me that I dont really know how to fully describe..

There really is so much more to get out of this work when you go beyond just taking some medicine here and there.

i agree. the seicoya do TWENTY days of purging and cleansing before they ever do a real yage ceremony. the dieta is not raw nor is it vegan (hard-boiled eggs are included from time to time) but it is bland and simple. the goal is to purge the cravings and the preoccupation with food that distracts the small mind. abstinence from sex, clearing teas (guayusa, cat's claw), regular smoking with mapacho and copal, flower baths with tea leaves, garlic leaves, citrus leaves, hibiscus, ylang ylang, etc. to clear the aura, mapacho juice and coffee enemas, mapacho juice snorted, meditation, doing righteous deeds of service for others.....the list goes on and on...

the whole point is to be as absolutely clear on all levels as one can be before trying to enter the world of the spirits. diet is a large part of it and has a very noticeable impact on the force of the journey. i am not a vegan, but i do eat extremely clean and bland. i'm pretty much a non-meat eater but would probably eat some sardines if i craved them (just haven't for a long time). i also do eat eggs on occassion (i actually do crave them) but make sure they are the most ethically cultivated and harvested eggs available. i do one juice-fast day per week where i make a drink of blended kale, avocado, green banana, fresh mint, raw kefir and flax seeds. i drink three of these glowing green drinks during the day. gives my body a break from having to break down solid food and it provides me with every nutrient, macro and micro, my body needs.

i have not ejaculated in almost two months now. any sexual expression i engage in is firmly rooted (no pun intended!) in tantric practice. i meditate three times a day for an hour each time. during this practice i visualize opening my chakras and doing 'micro-cosmic orbits'. i can do 33 in an hour and i walk away feeling amazing...

yes dear brother, the drinking of the yage (or, the vaping of the spice for that matter) is definitely just the beginning of the journey. one simply cannot put too much time, energy or intent into one's preparation for these most sacred soujourns...

i said it a long time ago here on this very forum and i'll say it again now with equal conviction: PURITY OF INTENT, PURITY OF EXECUTION, PURITY OF EXPERIENCE!

L&G!!

Question regarding "intimacy" with the other sex (what a silly thing! I refuse to ever think that we are not all one), do you still proceed with the act, but just on a deeper level (no ejaculation) I'm just curious is all, since I've been this way for a while, and am looking to see others views/practices on it.

yes, i still engage in it but i do not ejaculate. sexual energy is the single-most profoundly healing energy we can manifest in this physical world. to learn how to cultivate, maintain and use this energy to heal one's self, one's partner and the world is my agenda now when i have sex. the amount of energy i am able to generate and work with before, during and after each sexual 'session' has grown tremendously....

i started studying tantra when i was in my late teens but really couldn't resist the urge to blow a load very often. so much energy wasted....i simply wasn't ready (or able) to see this type of energy on a deeper level. all things are exactly as they should be...i know that in my very cells now....and my newly strengthened ability to understand and truly engage in this deeply meditative practice has only contributed to everything else that is going on in my lifetime. sex is a whole new world for me, complete with new vistas and new potentials...

L&G!!

You mentioned that wayusa(guayusa) is a part of dieta..did you diet with it at all?..and if so, did you notice the effects it has on dreaming?..I have spent entire days drinking wayusa throughout the day and those nights have been some of the heaviest dreaming I have ever done, to the extend of living multiple days of dreamtime in one night..complete with fully lucid experiences that borderline OBE's..its really interesting stuff and it also adds a dreamy dimension to changa.

thanks for sharing all that, antrocles, it was inspiring to read! just a side note.. I had cut out dairy from my diet around the start of january, then ate some organic pizza a few weeks later, and was fine.. didn't eat dairy again for a few weeks, and ate a slice of regular pizza yesterday afternoon.. have had diarrhea since then, which is not common for me.. can't help but feel that it's not a coincidence, and not sure when I will eat dairy again..

i thought i was lactose-intolerant for years, then our team physician did some blood work on me and diagnosed me as gluten-intolerant. after about a year of no gluten, i ate something that had milk in it and had no ill effects whatsoever! i tried other dairy products with the same result...

it's been almost 7 years since i've eaten gluten now and i can eat anything i want without a problem. dairy, meat (when i did that), everything. gluten is one of the most common allergens out there and it just exacerbates any mild allergy you might have to other stuff....even to the degree of making you mildly allergic to stuff you wouldn't normally have too much problem with. in my case, that was dairy.

as it stands now, i would eat a raw cow snout before i would eat a slice of wheat bread. from a purely physiological standpoint, the bread would mess me up way worse... but between corn, rice and quinoa (the grains i DO eat) i have a wonderful diet. rice bread, corn tortillas, rice tortillas, rice pancake mix....anything you want.

you might want to experiment for a month with cutting gluten out of your diet and see what effects (if any) you notice. can't hurt!

L&G

Are there certain physcoactive drugs that you will NOT consume, because you feel it may taint you? Or for other reasons? Or are all physcoactives able to be consumed?

Im allergic to gluten as well..also beef and lactose..I will suffer for days or more if I eat any ammount of these things.
Also rice really bothers me, so I dont eat that..kinda hard to eat raw rice anyway, soaking doesnt cut it.. Even nuts I dont digest well unless they are raw and sprouted..if I have fermented nuts like raw cashew cheese though myh body really assimilated it well. I find a diet of living foods the best possible thing I could do for myself. I think all the enzymes support a fully activated nervous system, but that's just me.