I had what I can only call a breakdown at the end of 2008. I documented everything that was happening to me and gave it to my doctor. I told her, on paper it looks like Bipolar Disorder. However, it didn't feel right in my gut.
I was right.
It was the (conscious) beginning of a transformation that continues today.
I battled some bouts of depression/anxiety throughout life (some very traumatic times for me). Always, I did everything I could to run from it. I was terrified of breaking down and resisted with everything I had. Until I couldn't any longer.
I started using entheogens because I am being pushed from behind. Life is getting very uncomfortable for me. I am extremely sensitive to everything around me. I can feel the emotions and intentions of those around me. I can hear and feel my cat's ear move from across the room when I stare at him. Noise, smell, taste, touch all increased so significantly that isolation is often my only reprieve (until I learn to balance it or block it). Clearly, this is not going away for me. The sensitivity increases consistently. Thankfully, I'm integrating well enough that I'm rather functional at the moment. Sometimes I am not. Entheogens seem to help me move out all of my buried pain that I carry in my body (in my stomach specifically). When I move this pain out of my body, I feel balanced and stable. Then another round will come (maybe days/weeks later) and another... It can be very painful, I have a LOT buried.
And it's not like I'm thinking about a sad event in the past or something sad about my current situation. I think of nothing. The depression/anxiety just takes over my body like a virus as I sit there with an empty head...completely confused at to what is happening.
Of one thing I am certain...this old stuff (trauma/pain) is coming out of me one way or another. I've been avoiding this purging for years, trying to keep balanced. There is no stopping it this time, so I do whatever I can to ALLOW.
Consider watching this documentary called
WAKE UP. It's about a guy who is having a similar awakening...only he is able to SEE what is happening around him (energy-wise). I'm a little relieved I cannot
see all of this (I only
feel mostly). It is traumatic enough to feel.
Much Love to your girlfriend (and you). Whether it's an awakening or something else. This is certainly painful stuff. Thank you for being there for her like you are. You have no idea how much easier it makes life to have this support. My husband has played a huge role in my healing.