burnt wrote:You ever heard of a coincidence?
yes. i don't believe in coincidence. coincidence is a cute way to admit man's ignorance. there's no coincidence...merely things that are deeper than we understand.
ok. i'm home. i'll post my experiece:
friday evening, i got to my girl's place around 7pm in a FOUL ASS MOOD. got there, blew up over nothing and immediately left. came back later. rough night lots of fighting. she went to bed.
around midnight, i smoked a bowl of weed. i came in, sat down and put the pipe away. then something said "you need to go home NOW". i got that impedning sense of doom that comes right before a bad trip. lights started to dim. almost got the puke thought. fear. anxiety. racing heart. my head kept saying "you need to quit" but didn't say what to quit
tried to meditate. ha...yeah right. laid down and started tring...my third eye swole up (like a penis that just couldn't ejaculate...sorry for picture) and i felt this strong force right in front of me keeping me from breaking through. had to have my girl drive me home to get a clonzapine. thought i was gonna go crazy...lose my mind. i thought "this is it...this is what you have always been afraid of". thought they would find me in the corner, speaking in tongues.
so the next morning, more fighting, but a lot calmer. stress took over. for about 30 minutes, i kept beating myself up in my head. telling myself i have to change. need to do certain things. (and there were other thoguhts). then the stress built up really bad and then melted away. was sent into tears for several minutes. releiving tears, though.
was going to get back tattooed on (more pics soon in "PSYCHEDELIC INK" thread) and needed to call artist (also close frined) to tell him i was having a rough morning and would be a little late. well...i regained enough to composure to call. told him i was having a bad morning and would be al ittle late. he said "if it makes you feel better, i am, too". he quit crying just to answer my call.
him and his girl broke up the night before and he was bogged down with stress and then the relieving cry at same time i did. they broke up same time friday night me and my girl fought.
talked to best friend saturday night...same thing as me. asshole friday night. almost broke up friday night. bad saturday morning.
well...another artist at shop woke up at 5 am to have a huge emotional outburst (out of nowhere). another buddy randomly called me to say he was having a rough day (abnormal stress and anger). my best friend knows two couples that broke up friday night.
bunch of buddies have said they've had a hard time meditating lately.
there will always be skeptics (i am one, too) but those of us who felt it...know t was real.
my friends and i keep getting the message that it's time to do the things we know we need to do (shape up, get rid of negative energies in our lives and make other positive changes we know we need to).
embrace your nothingness...it's all you are...