Earlier tonight swim took 200mgs caapi extract in a capsule, waited an hour and then sat down with a water bong and Vapostar loaded with 50mgs of spice and started to vape.

Now swim has never broken through while vaping and he didn't this time either. What keeps happening is that every time he takes about two hits a wave of anxiety comes on and instead of taking a third hit he just says to himself "that's enough" and collapses back on his armchair. Tonight the entities were mostly "ice-cream parlor girls" all smooth and round and shiny... all in all it was a very life affirming trip . Swim repeated the experience twice over the course an hour with similar results.

Swim had a very pleasant and also quite a moving experience. So my question is, is "breaking through" with all the anxiety and perhaps fear that that might bring really worth it?

This is why you should aim to get the dose in one.

No time for second thoughts

Yes.

Seconded.

Really, how much better is it? Wouldn't most people consider a sub-breakthrough DMT trip to be a pretty wild ride already?

Swim has taken a strong pharma trip before and has had his ass handed to him in short order; vomiting, telepathy with the leprechauns in the walls, melting into the bathroom tiles, roaring with laughter at the absurdity of life and swims not even sure that that would be considered a "break through!"

Swims not sure he can handle a breakthrough and not sure he even wants to.

A breakthrough goes far beyond leprechauns and melting into walls.

A breakthrough is obviously very hard to put into words, but I often describe mine as “participation in the eternal mystery”. It is a glimpse of what truly is. It is a sacred experience.

You won't know until you do, but my answer is emphatically yes. It's the difference between observing the landscape and actually being the landscape. It's the dissolution of all boundaries between you and the experience. When you break through, it's no longer something that is happening to you. You are it. It is you. And it contains everything there is, was or ever will be.

FYI - Try 10-15% of that amount of caapi extract sublingually rather than orally, a half hour before vaporizing. You may have better results.

I've seen the "ice-cream parlor girls" too!!! That was a wonderful trip!

Anyway, yes its worth it and in my experience the anxiety and fear is only pre-breakthrough. Once I breakthrough the fear disappears with the ego.

I second the one hit breakthrough, don't give yourself time to back out.

oh my, telepathic wall leprechauns, I am not alone!

Yes, you should break through. Imagine that fear you feel multiplied by 200... then flipped into LOVE.

Even if you don't feel you are up to it, or don't have the will power, you have to force yourself to do it at least once before you die.

It's a feeling you will most likely not achieve in any other method and the imapct can be very profound.

It seems to be a common enough theme on here.



I'm with you on the multiplied 200 times bit. My concern is that the "switch" might stick in the "fear" position.

Yeah they were wonderful, I felt truly blessed.

I think you probably did quite well to describe a break-through there. My DMT experiences so far have always left me with an intensified sense of wonder.

I was slightly perturbed though, to read this post of yours.



If a seasoned traveler like you could be effected that strongly by a breakthrough I fear that if I tried the same the wheels might fly off my mental buggy altogether.

I’ve stayed away from a breakthrough for awhile now for a number of reasons:

The biggest reason by far is because I need to clarify why I’m using DMT and what I hope to get out of it. The honeymoon days of curiosity and experimentation are over, and I need to re-evaluate why I want to use DMT.

The second reason is more mundane – I have a few things in my earthly life that need my attention and focus, and I don’t want to jump in deep with distractions on my mind.

The third reason is irrational yet not insignificant – existential fear. There is an irrational part of me that believes it is possible to enter the immaterial realm and never return. What that translates to in this earthly realm I can’t say (death? dissolution of this “reality thread”? awakening? )

I haven’t abandoned DMT altogether – I’ve begun exploring pharmahuasca and occasionally have sub-breakthrough vaporized experiences, but I’m not quite ready to go deep. When going very deep, one must be willing to let go of everything, including this earthly existence. I’m a bit too attached to this life right now to aim for a deep breakthrough.


Here’s the experience that I referenced in that post you linked to.

I too have seen the "ice-cream parlor girls"!!! And scoops of ice cream and cones cascading down. Very similar to the candy store. I also had a sporting goods cascade. Very silly.
I know you have heard this a million times, but,,, Glass Vapor Genie. One hit. I lived in terror of the onset anxiety. I had the pre flight jitters so bad I would nearly have an anxiety attack just planning a trip. For me, breaking through obliterates the anxiety. It's a veil I pass through, but it's worth it. It's momentary. Keep in mind, I have limited experience. I've only had 3 breakthroughs with straight spice. All but one after I got my GVG. I've only used my GVG 4 times so far and my technique probably sucks, but I've broken through in one hit. Once by accident.

The question of whether it is worth it to break through depends on what you can gain from breaking through and what you can lose by breaking through.

That being said, what can be gained by breaking through and what can be lost by breaking through?

I think what you can lose when you breakthrough is a certain existential inocence, which might be replaced by a deep Mistery that challenges everything one thinks and believes. It doesnt necessarily replace what was broken down with a comfortable framework. This mistery for me has become an incredibly beautiful life-affirming force that I integrate in daily existence by trying to make the best out of life, and I am eternally grateful for my experiences.

For others this existentially-challenging mistery can turn out to be too much to handle, and it can be very hard to integrate, making one confused, distance themselves from daily life and from others. Whoever smokes dmt must be aware that they are "signing the contract" when they do it, with all that it implies.

Endlessness,

Thank you for your perspective. I have signed the contract and wouldn't have it any other way. The gift of life is such a beautiful mystery, and I for one am grateful for it. All of us here should count ourselves very lucky to have felt the mystery so directly. It is amazing how much light these experiences can cast on our lives.

Blessings,
Once

this

It is most definitely "worth it" ...Once you have one you will understand...Ones own psyche is the only thing standing in the way of a breakthrough , seriously...I get tired of the endless discussions of which smoking device or how many hits blah blah ...Load up at least 60mgs in whatever device and hit it until you are "there" and then when you come back give the experience a value or worth...Just my 2 cents

Much Love
Aetherbound