Hi, i had a dark trip too with pharma. If anyone go to the "hell" than i have some tips to be realesed from the "hell".

1.) You can listen to good lovely music. Not dark metal you can listen to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL0r097SHOk)

2.) You can watch funny videos (i know it destroy the spiritual feeling but it helps me when i am on a bad trip (something like George Carlin or Bill Hicks )

3.) PRAY! Pray to Jesus, Allah, JAHWE or to the Flying Spaghetti Monster what you want. You must believe that Jesus or so can help you and than this will help. You can belive in god or not. PRAY!

4.) Sing! try to sing a funny good song. (a mckenna tip )

hope this help next time

Like other's have said. Have no fear as you will integrate this experience. it may take a very long time.

I've had one bad experience on DMT, but more importantly after using DMT a few times I believe it caused me to have MUCH stronger experience the next time I did shrooms. The experience was very tough to get through and I meditate most day's.

Ultimately the only way to deal with them at the time is to find someway to become the observer. If it's very intense you won't have any control over content. The best you can hope to do is maintain an awareness that is separate from the visions. It's hard, but it can be done. If done correctly it almost alway's induces a mystical experience for me.

Since you had a hard trip this advice will seem like a no brainer to you...but lay off the spice for a while. You will know when it's time again. Don't feel like you need to get back on the bike and ride. Psychedelics rarely reward bravado in my humble experience.

BTW Welcome back..and no that you are in good company and well loved!

Peace

Four day post-trip update:

These last few days have been rough, but yesterday I felt a big breakthrough and release. I went to my parents’ house, asked my mom to sit on the couch...and I just cried in her lap. I was there just soaking up her love (and my dad's) for hours. Very, very healing. It felt like closure on my childhood and my life as Brooke. An enormous weight lifted. A wound that affected my entire family felt healed (I had darkness overcome me in childhood...a version of this trip). So light, so free. I feel unstoppable in so many ways now and my imagination is through the roof!

During a cannibas meditation last night I was able to reach depths that weren’t available just a week before. I feel much more energy running through my body and can now take deep breaths going all the way down into my belly. This was always painful for me, so I’ve been a shallow chest breather all of my life (they say it’s common for those who live in fear). The oxygen and good energy of a deep breath felt almost toxic to my damaged gut. This has changed.

Physically I am still on the mend. Emotionally, I’m no longer in terror. I’m still waking up feeling ungrounded and anxious, but my alchemical tools (grounding cord and some healing techniques) are taking effect. Mostly, I just feel good. Deep-down good. Like my well-being has been restored and a passion for life finally BORN.

My appreciate again for everyone who has given input and support. You have no idea how helpful your words and advice were these past few days. Shining Light when and where I needed it most. <3

Oh, and I ordered that Stan Grof book. Thank you for the recommendation, Pandora.

Thank you for the update!!

The deepening breath sounds very familiar to me, and it's wonderful to hear you were able to connect with your parents like that.

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Much love to you.

I prefer the loving guidance of caapi over rue. Rue split my consciousness in two as well. One of me in a panic and the other the voice of calm. Interesting.

You have certainly earned your Rue Badge. Wear it with pride.


Namaste,

Espiridion

I want to say thank you to everyone who has helped my wife with this experience!

I don't think she's posted about it yet on this board, but she HAS done a caapi-only ayahuasca trip (100gr yellow vine) and it was a couple weeks prior to this rue trip. It was better than this one mentally, but physically it was pretty harsh. There was a lot of purging and dry heaving throughout. She did get a lot from it, but this rue experience was MUCH, MUCH stronger mentally and energetically.

Thanks again!

I like this, thanks!


I wanted to update that I had my first spontaneous OBE two nights ago. I'd just went to bed, when all the sudden I FELT myself rising up! I opened my eyes to find myself hovering about 5 feet above my bed (facing downward). I got very excited, then was promptly dropped back into my body. LOL. So, I immediately tried again. It worked! I started rising up again...but I don't remember what happened next. I didn't even remember the incident until the next afternoon. I do recall that everything was a bit blurry (visually) both times.

I'm not sure what Rue did, but my brain is working differently. In a good, good way.

Well, in the end it sounds like you got exactly what you asked for. Reminds me of the old adage: "Be careful what you ask for...you might just get it."

Glad you've ultimately benefited from your difficult experience.

Much love,

N.B.

There we go!

When I need to deeply relax and reconnect, I sometimes lie down and listen to Carbon Based Lifeforms...

Im glad to hear things are going better, and your appreciating the experience!!
Awesome for you!@@

I just got my ass handed to me about a week ago. For me the bad trips are the most rewarding. Its like being reborn, but first ..... you must die.

I encourage anyone who thinks they have gone too far to read vovins report ' the mass of the pheonix' really puts things in perspective.

Peace ~!

Hey pilotsimone,

being a sensitive guy my self, i can relate to what you must have gone through. I dont know if you see it or not, but i see your strength in your post. Your ability to face something as discomforting as you mentioned, requires a great deal of awareness and openness to the wierd/unknown.
Sending you love and prayers.
I know that you will integrate and it will make sense. And if it doesn't, it doesn't.
I look at such trips this way, they happen when they are needed. I am reminded of my dark side, so i can be aware of it. And just being aware of something gives me the choice of not thinking about it when i dont want to. I think we tend to forget, ignore our dark sides. Embrace and Love what you felt and experienced. Respect it truly and smile - today's a new day

Sending more love you way huny

Love & Light!

Thank you, yaxar. I am integrating this, but it has changed me forever. I am thankful to have my isolation so that I may heal.

I feel more masculine than before. Which makes me feel rather androgynous. It's such a strange feeling. I can relate to either gender equally now. I don't enjoy speaking (unless it's absolutely necessary or funny). I feel pain when others engage in excessive chatter. I have to leave most times. I can hear and feel my cat twitching his ear across the room. I'm very sensitive to my surroundings. Very little music is tolerated right now.

I've cut all current ties to my home state and we are planning a move across country. I have absolutely no idea who I am...and it is starting to feel okay. I feel like I am creating myself as I go. Both my body and mind feel infantile. Brand new and without a manual. Both empowering and terrifying at the same time. This has been the loneliest journey of my life and I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks again for all the LOVE. It was the only thing reaching me.

Having read your story and the nexus' advice, I think I'll be better at integrating a strong experience when they would occur. it's a relief and I'll think about it when I feel preflight anxiety.

Wanted to connect this to the trip report.

4 week update: How I stopped spiraling into madness.

The rain is gone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbY59VNl80Q