hey everyone, i have a question for all of you.

let me first state I wasn't able to control/feel this feeling at control, only at random and quite rarely, but after doing a completely inward reflection of myself through hundreds of pages of writing, something like "turned on" inside of me where I had control.

can anyone control that chilling sensation they feel typically when seeing something of true significance? I get this chilling sensation when focusing and when truly listening, so for example, I will get the chills when reading many posts on this forum and also listening to music. I feel like after all the writing and other experiences I underwent allowed me to see others perspectives with a unbiased, non-judgmental mind that truly allows me to "see them." ironically in my writing I decoded numbers that translated into I C U (this part along many others is the odd part in my end writings).

anyway, just curious if people have control over the chills and also if anyone wants to talk about anything, please do not hesitate. Also, I have never taken DMT, but it is something I will definitely experience in the future. Mushrooms always gave me an enjoyable experience because of my view on them and what they do, but definitely looking forward to truly entering another dimension with DMT, I know my mind is in the right place to do so.

well hope everyone is well and healthy
kgoose

bump

I feel like you are talking about the sort of "tingling" in your nerves that might feel like chilling breeze, such as when listening to a song with a deep meaning?
Well that happens and what's negative about it or why has it be controlled? I feel like you are making it a too big deal. I think it's great that you can be sensitive to things(unlike most people). If you really don't want the "chill" come in just think about something way serious.

Kundalini - " In yoga, a "corporeal energy"[1] - an unconscious, instinctive or libidinal force or Shakti, lies coiled at the base of the spine. It is envisioned either as a goddess or else as a sleeping serpent, hence a number of English renderings of the term such as 'serpent power'."

Kryas - "Another meaning of Kriya is the outward physical manifestations of awakened kundalini. Kriyas can also be the spontaneous movements resulting from the awakening of Kundalini energy."

Can you share more about your "completely inward reflection" ?

In the past year or so when listening to certain music and sometimes when thinking deeply or reading, something strange has started to happen. I get this weird tingling sensation that starts in my lower back, it almost feels like energy. It travels up my spine into my skull and seems to reverberate through my extremities causing really bad goosebumps. I guess that's kind of similar to chills.

well, I can't help but feel it is a good thing. a power that is in your court, right?

I know the feeling well, strong meme-ories of driving, and the morning, the horizon, the lyrics, all strike, a deep resonance. I relate it to a frequency in complete sync with another, like when you hum to something audible, and find yourself in perfect tune with it, vibrating with subtle strength.

I don't know what the hell it could mean. What is the meaning of the rising sun for that matter? I cannot know, but it is beautiful all the same. It is power and glory and resonance and giving and asking. That kundalini, that serpent of power, has responded to your inner searching, and given itself to you more than others. Just use it and explore.

I know that through substances we can reach out of body states, mind alone, soaring. We can also do this through meditation. You've found something of interest, kudos.

I don't know how experienced you are with shrooms, I'm really not. But with a little DMT use, not even a breakthrough yet, my lucid dreaming, and therefore signs, increased greatly.

awesome info thanks a lot. yeah to those few who posted about listening to deep music or watching a dramatic scene in a movie, this is what I used to experience in the past, and it still will happen like it used too... just happens when I focus as well.

I'm going to look into 'serpent power' it is something I have never researched or heard of. Ironically, I'm starting yoga next week as well

I would love to share my "inward reflection" briefly and if you want to talk more about it or something just let me know. Ok so last year (Oct 2009) one day I starting writing. The start of this writing isn't really clear but I just felt this weird need to write something, the first line was a question which was "where does all the money go?" this first question was relevant for continuing but completely irrelevant for the most part. My writing would soon shift to more questions about my actions and thoughts, let me give you an example of how my writing would go.

I might have a thought about a person in a room such as, "Why did XX judge me?" Basically what I try to do is simply answer my thought, like solving a problem. So I would answer this like "Well maybe it is because XX didn't understand me." Then I would continue with "How could XX understand me?" And try to answer, "XX didn't understand me because I wasn't being correctly verbally communicative."

That is an example of one aspect of my writing, I kind of titled it "branch learning" meaning things just branch off in all sorts of directions and topics that might have no comparative means to the original question. I feel like this helped me for the first time analyze my thinking but also change my thinking for the better. It also cleared my head from thoughts that would cycle around in my head whether I was conscious of them or not. I felt when I was writing, I was taking each thought from my head and throwing it permanently on paper. Which is probably why I wrote so much. I wrote like 200 pages non-stop over like a months time, during this time I withdrew from Business School (best decision of my life, now going for nutrition and personal training, couldn't be happier) was working out, smoking weed, and eating healthy. I was very happy.

Maybe too happy...

Ok so during my writing, I feel as if I am changing/evolving as a person. I feel like I am having thousand of realizations about life a day. My brother ends up winning an EPT main event in poker ($1mil). Haha I just realized something just now, it is kind of like my initial money question was answered, some spirit is all like "here is where the money goes dick." So this win boosts my already heightened mood. Probably within the week my vegan friend suggests I try a detox, mainly because I'm into nutrition and mentioned I've never detoxed etc. Ok so the name of this detox is The Master Cleanse (the name fits). Basically the diet is 10-40days of just drinking a liquid drink of organic lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and natural grade b maple syrup. With salt water flushes in the mornings. To sum this detox up, the feeling by the end is like you are drinking coffee 24/7 without drinking coffee.

But I fucked the detox up.... or did I?

Ok so my friend said she didn't think I could do the whole 10 days because its really hard. I felt confident because of my past regarding many diets and changes in eating habits combined with great discipline. I did the 10-day detox successfully, it was really hard, but I finished the 10 days. Now comes the part that I wasn't aware of... the transition OFF the detox.

Let me say that later research proved this to be very dangerous. So what you are supposed to do following the detox is like 2 days just eating raw vegetables and some soup broth. The following 2 after that is integrating like fruits and other things slowly. Basically the drink detox is over, but this is still part of it. What did I do the next NIGHT post detox? I drank literally 1-2 POTS of coffee, and ordered a pizza. Now let me tell you a fact, my vegan friend said when she drank 1 cup (thats 8oz) of coffee following the master cleanse, she was up for 36 hours straight.

What happened to me?

Ok now this is the part where time kind of vanishes and its more of a tripping out experience. My friend came to pick me up that night to drive downstate because I had some car ticket to take care of. This friend was the only dude who truly understand my writing and was all for it, and was saying things like "dude this is unreal, this is amazing." Because the other aspect of my writing I didn't mention was the whole basis of an idea. This idea can be called "Su." Su is simply us backward, us as in people, we are living our lives backwards in various ways. So the way I would distinguish people who understand what matters in life (love, happiness, family, truth etc) compared to those who don't (material, greed, ignorance etc) was a simple capitalization in the word "people." I originally wanted to put together all of the writing somehow and make a book called people vs People "Who we are, and who we truly are." But after this was all over I kind of understood it was more of a self-healing process than something that could be shared, but I won't count it out 100%.

Ok so we drove to his house (~5 hours) and I just remember ranting and ranting and my friend actually listening and contributing to the conversation. That night I didn't go to sleep, pretty sure sleep didn't even cross my thought process. That night I remember writing non-stop like rapid fire page after page. But the writing changed, I stopped using the alphabet for the most part. Everything would soon shift to numbers, then from numbers I created a symbolic alphabet. I remember my reason for doing this at the time, I just wanted a universal form of communication without language barriers etc. Then suddenly things were tying together in my crazy writing and it ended with someone that made me die laughing. All the writing, all the numbers, all the symbols came down to three characters of text. I created my own equation to life, and that is 1:1. Everything is equal, the tree outside, your neighbor, the spider making a web, we're all equal.

It was really fun for me but my friend and his mom were a little concerned. The next day everyone left for work, and I was at his house alone. I had a trippy experience, but not so much hallucinogenic. I thought my friends kitten was in fact a god or god, I looked into its eyes and something told me to let it outside because it was an indoor cat (laugh about this now). So I picked the kitten up and brought it outside on my lap on a chair, then I let it go on its own. It walked around a little then when back to the door, and I was like "I knew it would find home." These little things would just heighten my feelings because in my mind this meant I was in fact correct. Outside was more beautiful than ever. I wanted to like document exactly what I was feeling or share it with someone. Kind of like shake you and say "OPEN YOUR EYES."

I mentioned this was kind of like "self-healing" before and the reason is when you go deep in your mind traumas or regrets will most definitely arise and you deal with those as well. I would say the most release of energy I felt was in the bathroom when I looked into my eyes. Like really looked. I felt as if I was looking into the eyes of my ancestors, I only felt males. When I felt my father, I bursted in a loud scream, like louder than I have ever screamed and felt a wave of negativity leave my body. All I was going to do next was take a bath...

Knock knock knock on the door. Guess who? Police.

My friend got too worried the way I was acting and called the police to take me to a hospital. What they did was wrong. Summing everything up quickly I was put into an impatient program for 14-days, outpatient 28-days. I had zero clue why I was in the whole impatient program. Meds, meds, meds, oh wait he doesn't need meds, ok stop taking meds (already was planning it).

The most important thing from the programs is pretty nutty to try and understand. For the whole 14-days in impatient and probably 5 in outpatient I had this THOUGHT. This THOUGHT that was ridiculous but felt so REAL yet I wouldn't tell a soul although I thought they already KNEW. This THOUGHT was "I felt like every human being in the world could hear my thoughts." So what was I doing? Trying to not only control thoughts but to try and not even think. This was extremely difficult to deal with in the hospital and the fact that I didn't know why I was there didn't help. So basically what this did for me long-term was given me the ability to truly listen to people as well as be more in the present moment.

After the programs (January 2010) I re-enrolled asap to get my associates degree at a CC bc I withdrew from business as I stated before. My mom was surly impressed seeing me not myself but still having that discipline. I would say by April I was close to 100%, feeling like the old me before all of this. I was off the meds in March, which helped a lot. I spent hours and hours researching what happened to me and looking up many new subjects but it was more of a specific individualized experience that was and still is probably the most unique experience have had, but the research did answer some questions.

Wow.... I said I wasn't going to write a lot? LOL.

Ever since the beginning of the writing until today, I feel as if I changed dramatically as a person. I wouldn't say like "reborn" or something, I think a better way to put it is I am now my true self. The weird thing is I have never had that writing urge before the writing, or afterwards. Another odd thing is my sister said she also felt an urge to write when I mentioned it, but said it was gone when I was out of the hospital.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Gandhi

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Carl Gustav Jung

Love life
KG

:edit: ah I forgot about the chills, so I found the ability to control them when I looked in the mirror before I left with my friend to drive downstate. I first labeled it as "I was in a Su state," because it went with my writing. It is on the inhale.

<3
awesome post, thanks.

decided to post my poem relating to the chills that I wrote a couple months ago, also posted a different poem in the introduction essay section if you are interested. these poems are easy flowing because i usually just type my mind.

the chills

everyone has felt that sensation
that gives you a sudden chill
that you may or may not feel until
there is something of thrill,

without any hesitation,
you want to know why
that second has passed you by
with the blink of an eye

i too wanted an answer,
until i started to understand
it was in my hand
like I had to tap into an unknown gland

i heard stories about it being spirits,
which may be the case,
its something i now embrace,
it keeps me on the right pace

you might be wondering
how one would control this
to feel a moment of bliss
maybe you should blow a kiss

to someone always overlooked
who is this you might ask
just take of your mask
and say a cheers with you cask

and look around,
and now you can see who gave us birth,
mother earth

Sorry folks disregard that last post.


But kgoose brings up a point that I would like to expand on further. Id like to know why I found myself with the chills and/or tears of joy when reading these trip reports. I spent the majority of the day reading these posts and found I had a reaction I wasnt expecting or really noticing. My girlfriend more than once asked if i was "ok". She noticed that I was crying. Not profusely or in a mournful way. I was smiling. All I noticed was the chills that Kgoose seems to describe. I know that these posts portray amazing grandeur and beauty, but, why do they resonate this way with me ?(or us if such is the case). I have not broken through so the scenes described are so otherworldly to me that its hard to see the emotional connection. Aside from the communion of all of us having these experiences of course.

Strong emotional states (felt through reading/seeing/hearing/doing) can trigger kryas.