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Pandora
#1 Posted : 12/31/2010 3:52:18 PM

Got Naloxone?

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From June, 2010:

Truth is I hadn't had what I consider to be a full on breakthrough for quite awhile. You know, the kind that embodies (ha ha ha ha) both the visuals (sharp, polished, more "real than real," etc.) and the feelings (entanglement, all-one, mystical, hyperspatial, etc.).

It's hard for me to take that kind of a dose these days. I broke my head in Dec, 2009 trying to "face my fears." There is also that body load, the reality of the radical spike I get in heart rate and bp when I dose hard and fast are difficult for me to manage and I have not been dosing hard enough to get my ego to let go enough to completely 100% die/launch from my body.

Enough whining. I took a hit and my consensual reality cats decided that was the moment to rush me, so I put the pipe down and enjoyed their trippy presences for the 5 mins or so it took them to settle down. Then I picked up the changa packed pipe again and took 2 righteous hits which I held for close to 20 secs each - exhaled clear. Everything was radically and rapidly breaking up into square defined edges and lit up from inside as I lay back and closed my eyes.

I was INSTANTLY in the breakthrough space. Holy crap. This hadn't happened in a long time. I knew where I was and why (smoking DMT). This can be left-brain problematic. Best to just observe and not judge, be pure sensorium, etc. Yet, here I was, realizing that in fact was lying on my bed next to cats with my husband/sitter nearby.

I looked around and I was in a fantastic, cave-like or underground space and was moving on a river-like kind of flow. Not sure about this but everything was in motion. The predominant color was a beautiful, saturated red. I was inside a piece of fantastic and 100-sided geometry that was shaped like (& reminded me of) a Faberge egg lying on its side, but the walls of this thing also had strong characteristics of Celtic knots but with sharp, geometrically correct, angles. There were 2 chill entities there (I LOVE chill entities and seldom meet them) who were reclining as if they were sunbathing. They were very welcoming.

Our egg was moving down the river and there were other geometric eggs. Some were moving on the river and some were floating and moving in the air. There were entities in them and on them. Everyone was chill and somewhat disinterested.

My heartbeat was racing and I was working hard to do controlled abdominal breathing since I knew where I was and it was so fucking intense. I didn't really want to open my eyes but the trance was not strong enough to hold me.

My eyes opened prematurely. I brought the Faberge geometric eggs with me and they were floating in my living room. The visuals were way damped down but there they were but without entities. They were so beautiful. I watched them dance and move around delightedly and forgot my semi-panic. Soon my eyes closed again.

I was next to an electric L-shaped thing (wish I knew what) with a blonde-haired entity leaning up against it and looking at me. In front of us was something. There were many, colorful, spinning layers with weird shapes and big structures. But, I remember consciously observing this thing and trying to figure out wtf it was and coming up blank for several minutes (in consensual reality). So strange. If pressed to guess i'd have to say perhaps I was microscopic in size and inside some sort of machine or perhaps toy. I have no idea. I do know that when I re-closed my eyes the breakthrough visuals were instantly back. This had never happened before when my eyes had opened prematurely during a breakthrough then re-closed. Always a permanent downgrading of visuals.

It was so beautiful in there. It always is when I find the mental balls/ovaries to consume a breakthrough dose. DMT has taught me a lot about fear and myself but I'm still at the base of the learning curve and have so much more to learn. I am thankful and blessed.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


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ragabr
#2 Posted : 12/31/2010 4:54:09 PM

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Yay Pandora! I'm so happy to hear that you made it through and had a great experience. Thank you for sharing it with us.
PK Dick is to LSD as HP Lovecraft is to Mushrooms
 
antrocles
#3 Posted : 12/31/2010 5:01:36 PM

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beautiful report from a beautiful sister. welcome back and THANK YOU for that wonderful journey.

we really are rewarded for our courage with this medicine, eh? Pleased

L&G!!
"Rise above the illusion of time and you will have tomorrow's
wisdom today."
 
 
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