Pancho wrote:thats the question...
When I begin It was really important to me and I smoke a lot xploring ...
But sudenly I lost interest. I have not smoked since about a year, about 5gram oxidizing, a lot of free time and interest on learning about spirit... but I dont want to smoke, im not afraid, but ... I dont know....
Is there someone like me??
Yes. My smoking spirit molecule was quite infrequent anyway, sometimes every 6 months, sometimes breaking from this and every month or so.
About four months ago I had an incredible series of experiences, about enlightenment.
It was the first experiences i've ever seen which spanned the same place - over multiple smoking sessions. I would come out of the DMT experience, and be back in the room, only to smoke again, sometimes a week later, and return to the exact same place, to continue this
state of being.
All of this has left me confused, wondering. At peace, most definately, the strongest sense of inner peace i've ever had, and I am filled with the realisation of the
power of peace ... samsara... buddah... oneness... source of all energy.... it's honestly left me with more questions than it has answers. The most bizzare thing happened in my outer world too. I ended up home. at my parents home I mean, my childhood home, living there. I am
literally back at the start.
What do I do now? can anything compare to that one moment? I understand,
that moment is now, but, I do not feel joyous, what should i do??
If I am a part of the oneness that is all, and we are all currently in that state of being, because there is no other, how come I have no super-powers when I am here? Am I truly the creator, or the experiencer? Are people who say "well, that's not my god." just misinformed, or is the
nature of god to be confused about it's own beingness?? God chooses to know god
experientially?
Now that I've been in that infinite state, have I changed something? Must I return to certain LSD experiences I had, such like, witnessing the universe balancing on a knife-edge? if this state is so truely infinite, is there any reason to re-live the exact experience over and over, is samsara like that?? or were these LSD experiences, manifestations of my thoughts at the time, as buddah holds for *ALL* THINGS. (I beleive this is only true when you are witnessing, perceiving, reality as a single moment.)
Is that clear-light place, that state of beingness, atainable multiple times in one's lifetime, as some yogi's claim? Or does it only happen once? was it a once-in-a-lifetime experience?
It blew my fucking mind. For months afterward. I am still asking questions. Self questions self questions self. This part is eternal, I understand that. but, if anyone can answer a few of these questions that'd be great.
Sure, if re-living samsara over and over is joyous, then it should be fine, but we all know that there is suffering in the world too; I have cried tears for not being able to
not be. But then I said recently: you'd never want to NOT be, because it is joy on the OUT vibration AND on the IN vibration. Maybe it was just a crazy state of half-insanity induced by LSD. Love has no other side, it is just love love love.
Is the buddha state truely infinite, and everlasting, as in, existing as a shiny beacon of pulsating vibration,... or is it more like a continual rebirth kind of existence. Is existing a problem in some situations? am I afraid for NO reason? am I even afraid?? did I *choose* to come back to my present life, as I think I did?
Does it make any difference? did I just create that experience for myself and then experience it, as per usual???
Or was this really the inside of all the thoughts and prayers of the inner beings of a million billion beings. Becoming one with the cosmos, witnessing the universe as wrapped around in an infinite place, where all sides meet in a single point of consciousness, self-awareness.... me, my awareness, my consiousness. What do I do now? what do I want to do now? where else can I find joy? what can I imagine it in?
shoe
เฅ เคญเฅเคฐเฅเคญเฅเคต: เคธเฅเคต: เคคเคคเฅเคธเคตเคฟเคคเฅเคฐเฅเคตเคฐเฅเคฃเฅเคฏเค เฅค เคญเคฐเฅเคเฅ เคฆเฅเคตเคธเฅเคฏ เคงเฅเคฎเคนเคฟ, เคงเฅเคฏเฅ เคฏเฅ เคจ: เคชเฅเคฐเคเฅเคฆเคฏเคพเคคเฅ
Love, Gratittude, Compassion, Fearlessness!