Last night I decided it was time to go back. Set and setting were changed up and while I can, I suppose sum the night up as a "bad" experience it was an experience all the same, and I feel a lesson learnt.
My first time(as seen in
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=17497) felt very spiritual and welcoming and the experience was entered as such, tonight differed - there was myself and 3 others. Two I had vaped with one on one, the third was a brother of one of them. This imediately changed the dynamic. There was a sense of light heartedness, this was to the change the whole ordeal, like I was showing off a new toy as at this stage I was the only one who had a break through, or at least have any entity contact.
I loaded up and blasted off. It came on strong and hard. I lay back in the couch and closed my eyes. I felt my hands slap to my head over my eyes like when your hand is over the drain in a full bath. They came to me again, they were the same wheel as the previous time but instead of a full circle it was the top right quarter and the bottom left spinning around like a ninja star in front of me. The "elves" seemed to be gone except for the more sentient mother elf who at this stage payed me no heed. She seemed like an Egyptian hieroglyphic / character with hands together as if praying, all seen from a 2D profile view - this was abruptly changed as I distantly heard my friends laughing. The being turned and looked at me "what is this?" I suppose I felt, again snickering was bringing me back. The entity was not impressed and the image disappeared into a swirl of colors. Time to go I sat upright hands removed from my face and the room spun with a lightshow still present. Whoa. Intense.
Each person had their shot and once again it seemed more like "woohoo were trying a pychedelic!" than something done with respect. There was too much talking too much laughing, not enough respect. Full circle comes round, my turn.
I thought I'd play some tunes and look outside this time, and loaded a heroic dose. Last mistake.
MF Doom was cranking and I hit it hard barely containing myself. The flow of the lyrics and the beat visualized as a lattice of DNA, 3 dimensional and intricate. This was all open eyed visuals. Looking at the tree this lattice enveloped the tree and began to spin rapidly around it. It wasn't long before the lattice broke apart to reveal little tree spirits, all teeth and malicious eyed spinning faster and faster looking at me with gnashing teeth. They were a mixture between langoliers, space invaders and that little Japanese brown character with a big mouth. They were all very angry with me and would not listen to my reasoning. I began to cough violently and I felt a total loss of bearings. I thought I was vomiting into the garden and it felt like a dense black cloud coming out my mouth. I tried to remind myself that it would be over soon but they weren't done yet.
My friends tried to reassure me. I told them "turn doom off". I was sure I'd pissed myself.
I found myself in the couch and slowly coming back.
The black ape got angry with me. Show some respect. That I will. I'll take some time before I go again. And give myself a break between hits too.
"We'll sit quiet, be alert, pay attention to you, be available, hold good thoughts and feelings for you. If you need human contact, just put out your hand and somebody will take it. If you lose control, we're here to help. Otherwise, this is your experience, not ours. Your pretty much on your own."