i signed up to the nexus a few weeks ago on a friday afternoon. i am very glad that there exists such a resource.. i have not utilized it much since i signed up for one day after i did i had an experience that has shaken my reality just a little bit. i am finally in a space, after much self reflection, to post..

so the saturday after i had signed up i felt that i should have a psychedelic experience... i had fasted almost the entire day with the exception of a handful of almonds in the morning.. when the evening came around i served myself a dose of hbwr.. this was not my first time with them although it may very well have been my last... i ate the seeds and the over all experience was a mild one. i was very lethargic and laid down for the whole trip.. no significant visuals and i was very nauseous for most of it. i did have a few insights and all was well...

now im not posting this to bore you folks with a relatively bland trip. i had fallen asleep and had woken up at around 8am with the need to go to the bathroom. the effects of the seeds had worn off or at least i am pretty sure. i was standing at the toilet doing what i had to do when i thought to my self UMMM I SHOULD GET A GLASS OF WATER WHEN IM DONE HERE. that was the last thought i can remember before waking up not realizing where i was.. i was coming out of a weird dream scape and before i could actually analyze what i was seeing and enjoy it i realized that something was wrong and i couldnt make heads or tails of what had happened or where i was.. i then realized that i was in my bathroom draped over my toilet.. confused and slowly coming to my senses i noticed a dripping sound something equivalent to a slow running tap. i had no idea at the time but i had busted open my head and was bleeding pretty bad.. i wont go into much more detail but i will say this i had to call for, help thank God people were home that weekend and ended up in the emergency room where i received 9 stitches above my left eye...

to be honest the whole experience has made me a much humbler person... i am no stranger in the world of psychedelics and this is the first time ever that something of this nature has happened to me... i have much experience with fasting as well.. if i can offer anyone anything it is this, no matter how much experience you have or think you have never enter this realm care free. always exercise with caution and always always listen to your intuition. i believe that in my case it was a combination of me ignoring my little inside voice telling me "not today" and dehydration that got me into trouble.. i should have been more cautious and should have consumed more fluids but i didnt. i was a little embarrassed that this had happened but i feel that it served as a HUGE lesson for me... i now have a gruesome reminder on my forehead to always be careful or at least do everything in your power to be.. be it fasting or psycs always make sure your in the right space and frame of mind. even i knew all this and look at what happened. when people give you warnings they are truly for your own good dont think "it will never happen" because it just may....

so after that long tale i do have a few questions... Has anyone experienced any black outs or fainting type feelings using hbwr? because i concluded that what had happened to me was a result of dehydration from me not fasting as i should have..(not drinking enough water)..

second question is.. does anyone out there ever doubt themselves and there use of psychedelics.?. i have never in the past but after this experience i am a little shaken up.. i do love them and they have helped me sooo much in getting my life back together but now im thinking that maybe i have just been fooling myself. or on the other hand maybe i just really needed this lesson and a cool looking scar, after all the universe does work in mysterious ways. Has anyone had an experience that has left them questioning their path or psychedelic usage??? . any insights or comments would be greatly appreciated.. i do need to hear from people that know where im coming from. i do have a lack of psychedelic thinkers in my life..

thank you for listing...
peace be the journey
treetop

Hello treetop. I first want to say i love your avatar. That dude gave me some good times with his fan-brush in hand. He was definitely the daddy of nature scene painting...

No need to feel embarrassed about hurting yourself. Shit happens to the best of us and i would try not to read too much into it. Unfortunately, the nature of psychedelics is very random, which in turn may lead to a harmful situation. Glad you are recovering now and scars do definitely look cool.

Welcome to Das Nexuuuuuus

LSA is a pretty damn potent vasoconstrictor. That, coupled with a fast without water is a pretty bad idea.
You BP probably dropped, you lost oxygen to your brain, and you collapsed, I'd say.

Always stay hydrated; fasting is a joke (it can help with quicker onset and sometimes nausea in certain situations, but as a whole it's overrated). Just skip one meal and have at least 4-6 hours between eating and partaking if you are that worried.

As for your other concern, doubt and psychedelics go hand in hand. If your not doubting how your living your life then you are lacking introspection.
If you don't feel like taking psychedelics anymore, than don't. No one has a gun to your head.
If you think this incident was a "sign from the psychedelic spirits" or you just think you were being inattentive, then learn from it.