It was playful and it was patronizing. It tore me to shreds without any mercy and reminded me of the ultimate power that this universe holds over everybody.

I was sharing the moment with my younger brother (I'll call him Deva). I had made some changa, the previous night, with NN spice and Mint leaves.
I took the first toke of 20mg and then a second. The leaves burnt real nice and thick smoke was inhaled. I could not finish the bowl but i didn't need to. The peculiar tone was heard and that was it for me.

Trying to describe the DMT experience is like trying to notice a fast moving electron that just passed in front of you and through you. One can only feel it. And I am not really good at describing my feelings anyway

It was the most beautiful thing happen to me. I know it was happening to me because i could feel its immense weight on me. Sheer force that engulfed me, but it wasn't trying to scare me, maybe just hold me and caress me. Showing me it's heart, surrounded by purple-red membrane, covering the center like drapes. The center of the heart was a muscle moving up and down, beating.

Millions of tiny moses and jesus like faces with tiny fingers flew in sight, tickling me on my chin, asking me to come with them. This is the same feeling that I experienced once while I was hanging out with some friends, boozed and drugged up to the brim, I saw my self following horses with golden chariots.
I was soon to find my self following them until i ran out of breathe.

It was interesting to notice how the events that were taking place were directly dependent on the breathing pattern. As soon as i would stop breathing, the visuals would stop in time, everything would, but i couldn't manipulate them, i couldn't play with them. It was there realm, no body could mess with em. They were 'messless' (could not be changed, tweaked, augmented, divided) probably because it was already all this and so much more.

Anyway, the moses like faces took me and threw me in a vast space, there was nothing but silence. The silence that i notice when i am just about to go in deep sleep. The silence that i witness when i am shocked or taken back by day to day events. Of course the intensity of this silence was pure. And in this silence two horizontal bone like structures came in from the left and right and collided with each other. The collision was bright and multiple strings of energy and lifeforms came out of the collision. I witnessed the formation of galaxies and other neuro-beings that faded away. This is the point when i focused the attention on the center of this collision, that i saw a tiny ball, made of millions of shiny pink and white stars.

I rem. hearing a door creak in the background (proly the wind moved the door or somethin) which did break the communication i was having, however i didn't loose focus of it and that's when the entire architecture of the realm revealed it self. A Golden rectangular-square (due to its fluid nature) surrounding the glittering ball, and all the veins of the universe connected to the golden box. The universe was busy sending all the info to the golden box, through red colored signals. I was surprised that the in-spite of all the traffic, the box didn't seem busy or overloaded, in-fact it shined more and more, with greater intensity. Until the spice decided to let go of me.

After 30 mins, i toked another 20mg. This time i was awaiting it's arrival with great enthusiasm and some nervousness. But it didn't matter, the spice had it's own plans .
This second time, we din't waste any time in introductions, and got right into it. The spice took hold of me - i mean literally - and took me on a trip which my younger brother described as 'the purest psychedelic trip he has ever experienced'

My brother and I have had a close relationship with Hasheesh - mostly afghani, and consider ourselves lucky to live where this stuff is cheap and the purest. So we have made sure to make use of every opportunity to combine our moments with this amazing and mind expanding drug. Apart from this we have used MDMA several times. But nothing can prepare you for the divine molecule.

Coming back to the trip, the spice engulfed me and made me into a digital dancing doll, with horizontal and vertical glowing lines making up everything in the room. I was swirling my hands around the room with my eyes closed and it danced with me. I felt like crying because it was so beautiful. Maybe i did cry inside, was probably on my knees begging for it to stay a bit longer and not leave me. I don't think it's fair to describe it's beauty in words, because no word can ever do justice with what it was. I rem laughing with awe and amazement and said to my brother, 'everything is glass and electrolized'. It was probably me vaporizing into nothingness.

The second trip was more playful than the first. But the nature of both trips remained the same.

That night, right before sleeping, i reflected a bit on my experiences and this is what i could take out:
The spice loves the right music (setting)
The spice is life
The spice is not restricted by time or space
The spice is a mother, a lover a friend to a friend and a patronizing cold-hearted-evil doctor that will not consider a shred of mercy if messed around with. It will scare you and tease you and make fun of you.
The spice is love

I died last night and was reborn again. At one instance, i was coming down from my trip and I was looking at my brother who was probably still up there somewhere. But when he came down, i literally saw him come to life again. He opened his eyes, yawned and stretched. I have only seen his face glow occasionally. And when ever it does, i know there's some magic happening inside.

I am glad to have broken through, glad to have see and experience a reality which deserves a chance to be considered real. I am glad that the spice din't hold back and i am glad i din't hold back. I am also grateful to all the Nexicans here. I have learned a great deal by being on the nexus and you are the only ones I have shared this insight with.

On a personal level, the spice helped me understand that the body's main processor is not just the brain but the heart too. And a good balance of understanding of these two organs has to be achieved in order to go to deeper into the self.

Loving anything and everything!

Cheers

Must be pretty sound having a brother to trip with. Every DMT trip I read is like a poem that I just cannot understand. I'm sure by the time I have smoked it I will be able to come back and say "Ahh, I see!".

Well written report, getting me all hyped up!

Cheers for sharing.

Hey EO,
I am glad i shared that special moment with my brother. I understand now, why it's important to be with somebody you trust while on spice. I read the first post on your blog and it reminded me of the times when I used to think, as a young psychonaut, that i was abnormal in some way coz i used to see activity every time i'd close my eyes. Reading your posts gives me the feeling that you DO understand, maybe you just don't know it yet
Working with the spice has taught me so many things and reassured me, about my self. Last night after a bad trip, i felt hands of my ancestors patting me on my back, telling me that it's all right, the war's only with-in
I wish you all the best for your spice endeavors.

Love and Light!