Dying over and over and over and over and over and over, for an eternity...

Enough said. No more needed.

Just breathe.

Last time I went in with way to much bravado, and then at first I thought I misfired, and I didn't expect much to happen. 10 seconds later I realized I was absolutely wrong. What I expected didn't happen. I expected to be pulled from my body into some weirdo room with weirdo things staring at me and making funny noises producing funny multicoloured impossible to manufacture objects. I guess I listened to to much Terrence McKenna.
I got quite the opposite. I still had my body, but my entire universe was essentially this divine system, but I was thinking that I am not breaking through and I tried to force my will on it. In fact, until I realized it is going to do exactly the opposite of what I try and make it do, it was a hell ride. Near the end I started laughing, but not an euphoric laugh, I laughed at the whole ridiculousness of the whole situation.

I hit a few B Caapi bowls before class and then a quick bathroom break with a strong hit on the pipe full of spice. I did this because I have recorded myself before and found that I am actually far more eloquent and confident in my speaking when I am on the spice. with enough control you do not have to go to the other side you can bring the other side to you. takes practice and well lets face it i'm a lil crazy anyhow so no one really suspected anything. It's not as impossible as you think. I began by going for a walk on a popular trail under spice then going into stores while on it etc.. until I felt I could control the situation.

You see that picture on the left that is me. Why on gods creation would I put a actual picture of myself. Because a long time ago I swore I would live a life without fear and face everything head on. I have been to the edge of oblivion and beyond. I have tasted incomprehensible terror in the deepest rescess of their other domain. I came back I survived. There's nothing those on the other side that they can do to me that I cannot bear or have not seen before. I do not go to the other side with violence or bravado but if I am assulted I return their agression with agression their love with love.

If it is true that you are only exploring the deepest part of your psyche while under the spice then it is YOUR domain your mind a place wherein you are God. You should not fear the entities if anything they should fear you. Their power is in distraction and illusion but they have no power to harm you. If it is true that they are extradimensional beings then still who was the one with the power to traverse to their world. They did not come to yours you went to theirs. Have faith in yourself and trust in your strength if you do not how can you expect them to. It is as this world those who display strength and confidence are respected those who appear weak are used and abused.

you got balls of titanium vovin, mucho respecto.

vovin you said something very significant . This idea of bringing the other side to you.
I've been doing this for a while now.
Its like fishing for extra-dimensional entities using your human consciousness as bait. Thats what i do anyway.
It feels a little insane sometimes but the payoff is huge...
The love fest that goes down when everything lines up is indescribable. These energy beings are the real deal as far as I'm concerned. There's something about our minds that they seem to love.

Slow ramped up low doses will do this after some caapi beforehand.

vovin i got a lot out of your post. very empowering for sure.
i sat and pondered for a bit and something didn't fit right for my personal experiences. for me the worst kind of fear is fear of yourself. its the only foe that renders you powerless to fight against. ive never been very fearful of any entities met on the other side. especially in that state there aren't many things outside of myself i would cower against, but when its your own mind attacking your deepest insecurities and fears there is nothing to combat. you cant shut it off, kill it, drown it out or bargain. you are helpless when it reaches a certain level.


i dont fear outside forces but put in in a room where i cant escape my own mind that is really fucking with me and attacking all my vulnerable places that only i can know and you will see me very scared indeed. its just plain sucks but i have truly grown from these journeys.
i get a bit stronger each time that's why i keep at it. its not always easy and if anyone would look at what im doing and call it "recreational drug use" i would laugh my ass off.
lately it feels like intense therapy and sometimes i question if i should continue. i really could use a win herer soon in the form a a blissful light hearted journey ( btw im referring to ayahuasca not so much dmt )

a scary, demon, alien monster would be a relief compared to the discomfort of the kind of bad trip im referring to. i dunno...maybe its just me but all my bad ones tend to target my mental and emotional fears while at the same time send a physical fight or flight chemical signal. this is usually the double whammie and is really hard to get an upper hand on. it feels damn impossible. your not only contending with these maddening thoughts but you have an actual bio-chemical evolutionary response signal in your brain telling you your in danger....run-fight-hide !! ! very hard to deal with both at the same time, no?

im not trying to say all i have is torturous journeys and im some head case with a closet full of demons. more like i just had a few bad ones in a row and i defiantly get anxiety now big time prior to drinking. ive never had to deal with this and to be honest it sucks.

so to bring this back around to the posters topic, im sure youve been to these parts of your mind how do you not get pre flight anxiety? i trust your words but thats really hard to comprehend.

You must realize how strong you are. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses. How many people in your life would have the courage to enter to that place not once but many many times. everyone who has broken through and has the courage to do so again is a titan of strength. The only question is what are you looking for on that other side. Do not be sidetracked. Seek what you went there for and refuse to accept anything else.

single minded fury

God...

Well, just please assure me the dose was 30mg or less.
My first time I was on Dmt/sally (I combined the two ) I did walk around and actually spoke to someone. The next day I asked them if they didn't see anything weird happening, they looked at me like they didn't understand what I was talking about and said no.

I have never actually measure a dosage in my life out of hundreds of journeys. I have a idea of the amount I need and when taking it in while using a MAOI I pretty much know when I have had enough. I rarely overshoot you dont have to smoke everything in the pipe. I just hit it until I know I have had what I needed.

^ brilliant

Jeez, the fear has just been quadrupled...

I smoked some caapi 11x. Just caapi 11x, no DMT. I instantaniously got the jitteres, got scared at what is going on with my body, and just crawled up in bed and begged for it to end. I eventually went to sleep, only to wake up at 3:30 still scared as fuck, and not being able to go to sleep for an hour and a half.
I didn't hallucinate really, but the feeling scared the crap out of me. In fact, the first time I did DMT, it wasn't the hallucinations that scared me, but that body feel. I felt like I just short circuited my brain.

In fact, I am wondering if it is the harmala's that scared me in the first place?

Now I have 3 trips of DMT ready, 10g+ of syrian rue, 100g of mimosa hostillis, 100g of THH, and I'm to scared to use it...

I just took a minute quantity of DMT and I JUST REMEMBERED.

THIS SHIT MAKES YOU FORGET WHAT IT DOES TO YOU, AND THEN YOU WANT IT AGAIN. You forget within 2 minutes. I am writing this while still tripping on this crap.

PEOPLE WAKE UP, IT IS SEDUCING YOU! JOEBONO WAS RIGHT!

Maybe it has that effect on you, but it certainly doesn’t have it on everyone. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) I remember the more difficult or troubling aspects of my DMT journeys. Maybe not every detail, but I remember enough to not want to dive right back in!

It seems like your relationship with DMT is not very positive right now. Have you considered taking a break?

Wow, sorry to hear that.
It sounds to me like you should not do any DMT.
Perhaps not for several years.
Perhaps not ever.

Also, it's an unfair projection of your own experience that you've made.
DMT Doesn't make me forget within 2 minutes.
I actually find that it improves my memory and recall greatly.

I'm sorry that you got the impression that your brain short circuited.
That sounds awful.

Best of luck.

I barely started!
And yes, I am considering taking a NICE LONG break.

PS: Is DMT always frighting? Is that a "happy" side to the experience itself? Or is it just plain weird and not much else.

Didn't you read any reports ??!

Lots of good ideas and discussions here. I usually recite the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear -

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.


But seriously...someone said it best with the analogy of being on a roller coaster. There's that build up and anticipation as you make that first slow climb along the track to the first drop. You know everything is going to be ok, you know your going to have fun and won't get hurt, but there's always chance however small that something could go wrong. The problem is that anticipation is easily mistaken for fear the more you dwell on it...For me that build up is part of what makes the spice so different and special when smoked. With most anything else you get to ease into the trip so you have time to reassure yourself along the way.

How other people experience DMT is not really relevant to your experience. I rarely have difficult experiences – only twice (out of hundreds) where I was really shaken up. But how does that change things for you? Maybe for you it will always be frightening and unpleasant.

Most of my experiences at low doses are very introspective and often very emotional. At higher doses they become much more “spiritual” and/or alien. Often I commune/join with other beings. It leaves me awestruck and filled with gratitude.

But this doesn’t mean that your experiences will eventually become more pleasant. Hopefully they will, but how much are you willing to endure to discover if that’s the case?

A theres place you can get to with dmt. You can't demand it. It has to come to you. When you reach it you will understand why we do this. When you experience pure love in every facet imaginable. Fully immersed in complete awe. Then you will understand. Until you reach it dmt is just a drug, after you reach it dmt is the key to another world.

Reports don't seem to do it much justice.