ouch! thats a little harsh.

protopax- i think you have a good plan. pain is unavoidable in life but suffering is not necessary.

We've all got a wonderful community of support here for each other. It's a virtual one, but it can be tapped into via inner stillness. There isn't anyone here who isn't hoping the best for you. Is there a zen center in your city???? Those places, in my experience, often offer a non-judgemental, non-advertisy, non-proseletyzing place to hang out with people looking to ride a similar wave.

I went to lab today and just started crying. I've got some extensions on my work, and I think I can feel it getting better. I got a girls with dredlocks number today, so I'll give her a call tomorrow and see if she wants to meet up. I talked with my buddy for about an hour today, and he said it was definitely some kind of cosmic irony that these two hit in the exact same day.

My anger at the girl is gone. Die Hundin will teach me german.

That's a great way to put it!

Well, your right..I cant really disscern how things are meant to be said over the internet..I just feel like if someone told me they're friend just died and gf broke up with them I would show empathy in a different way, but maybe we all just have different ways. I agree that in life noone feels ok all the time..I just think that most people already know that at some level. Sorry house

I think FE needs a big hug too.
Cheers my friend

and welcome back house..

Hi proto-pax. Have some idea what you are feeling.

When Dad died a few years ago, it certainly made me feel shitty.

With love and support from family and/or friends, and some time and effort, it becomes achievable to feel much better.

As I looked at it, I realised that out of all the years we spent together, it was just a fraction of time that was making me feel this way. So I began to look at all the time we had shared. Did we fight? Hell, yes! but as time allowed, I began to see him from a distance, other perspectives that I couldn't see when close.

And the more I began to see him from a distance, the more I began to learn, really learn about him. Even the memories of some of those fights - and there were some real humdingers! - began to make me smile, even laugh! Yes, the more distance I allowed myself to have, the more I appreciated him.

When life gifts us with a special personality, in whatever capacity, then we are richer for having met them and your description of your buddy certainly fits that. I think it's true to say that we miss someone as much as we love them.

And I think you are already finding that when you begin shifting away from the "miss" and toward that "love" side of the equation, you are moving again.

The more you allow time to let you see your friend from different distances, the more wonderful surprises you will find out about them. The book has been written, but there are chapters still to be read and enjoyed. Like a fine wine, that you bring out on special occasions, you begin to savour great times, new perspectives.

And I sincerely hope that the more wonderful things you find out about your friend, the more wonderful things you will find out about yourself.

I know that your friend had a great friend in you, just as you did in him.

May your contininued healing be swift, natural and in a way that suits YOU.

Support is all around you.

Peace, Love, Happiness and everything positive,

trancenut.