This is the story of last night, my first breakthrough.

I loaded the large hammer style pipe up with an eyeballed dose of spice, I estimate around 60-80mg. I laid it on a bed of ashes on top of a screen, and covered with a small layer of an herbal smoking smoking blend consisting mainly of Damiana.

I held the lighter just above the bowl piece to melt the spice into the ashes/herbs. After melting it, I proceeded to touch the flame to the herbs just enough to start them burning, then removed the flame.

I managed to take 3 hits when things became extremely disoriented, I managed a forth hit before losing sense of reality.

My body broke into millions of atoms and started to pull apart. I felt a presence near me, and it was not welcoming. It seemed like he was in charge, and he was not pleased.

My body continued to rip apart. I remember become confused and scared, and was figting extremely hard to hold on to reality, I told myself to give in but I was unconciously fighting it. Fighting it was no use however, and my body completely dissipated.

I was pure energy, and I got pulled directly into the universe becoming one with it. My ego was brutally murdered and I no longer have any sense of me, or life. I am simply a part of the massive energy that is the universe. I feel a sense of negativity, like someone is dissapointed in me.

Details are foggy. After this, I begin to slowly notice my body again. I rip the headphones off I was wearing. It boggles my mind as I realized I am nothing but energy, linked directly with the universe; I realize am sweating profusely.

I look at the clock once I am back on earth, in a heavy "normal" tryptamine state. 8 minutes have passed.

I don't sleep at all the following night. I remain awake contemplating the experience and its implications. It was terrifying. It was enlightening. It was the most indescribable thing I've ever felt. It was not what I expected..there was no love. However, I am glad I was shown what I was.

Ego death is not annhilation.
It is emancipation.

You do not cease to exist.
The boundaries that define you cease to exist.

Having no boundaries, 'you' become nothing.
Yet 'nothing' is still apart of 'everything', and thus 'everything' remains.

The experience: There is no You.
The revelation: There is only you.

I am the universe.
We are the Universe.

This trip was about 13 hours ago, and I still have the feeling of complete enlightenment. Of course I have far more questions then answers, but I am not going to look to DMT for answers for quite a while, I must address some other issues in my life first.

I have taken dozens of psychedelic drugs over a period of a decade, many at high doses, and I have never had an experience anything like this. I consider myself experienced with psychedelic drugs, but I don't even like to consider DMT a "drug". Nothing else even compares to DMT. You can never prepare for it. DMT is a passport into the true reality of what is.

Having not experienced ego death, reading about it baffles and scares me. Your description is the first that I can begin to understand, and it reassures me it is not something to be feared. Thankyou.

I've had that splintering into the fabric of hyperspace happen to me. It stands as the single scariest moment of my life still.

My respect for this stuff has been unfaltering ever since this happened to me. Set and setting become acutely important at the higher dose you described.

There are many things that are terrifying about this kind of experience. First is the instinctual flight or fight fear that kicks in when you lose total sense of self and your ego and mind has nothing familiar to reference anymore. The other is some kind of distinct feeling that the state your in is perminent and you will not be returning to the reality you once knew.

There are physical issues as well that contribute like feeling sick or having trouble catching your breath or even remembering to breath.

The shear power of the force is really overwhelming. I really don't think we are set up to handle that level of experience yet.

ALthough scary we do return and there are many positive repercussions from such an experience.

http://topdocumentaryfil...rimacy-of-consciousness/

This documentary is really helping me integrate this experience. I highly suggest everyone watch it; or at least bookmark it until you have time to watch.

Hello and good for you!!!! Your journey has begun and you are right ...DMT is unlike anything out there, save death mebbe! We will all find that out for sure one day but I feel in my heart it is exactly like death but you get to peek behind the curtain and come back to this plane.

This reality is just the story that we as humans have made up as we went along and Fractal is right, it is time we started making up new stories.
Stories of love and harmony and contentment. Enjoy yourself and this period of integration and learning!

Namaste
Aetherbound

Ah I find so much bliss in reading this report Aloneits. I'm so happy for you and you're experience! You're delivery is so perfect; it reminds me of my first flip through hyperspace. Nothing has blown me away quite like my first handful of flips through the universe. It answered so many questions, yet left so many questions to be answered! It really truly is like nothing else save the ultimate experience, death.

You are not alone in integrating this experience. Everyday we learn and grow more allowing us to journey even farther into ourselves, only to remind us that we always have remained. Welcome to a place understands.

thankyou

Thank you for writing this up, aloneits. Safe journeys.

I have felt a similar experience as well..every experience so far has been different however.... :S

Very interesting revelations! Similar to something I've experienced.

Thank you for the link aloneits. I am having a bit of trouble integrating my experience, trying to remember everything and understand the bits i do remember has taken over my waking life since i had a full breakthrough a few nights ago. The description of your experience is spot on for me. Your use of words is so satisfying too...it helped me feel my experience again. I'm going to post details of my breakthrough later when i have more time. It is a truly amazing thing so many of us here have experienced and although nearly indescribable, you and many others have used what words we posess very well and acuratly. Thank you.

Glad to hear you had such a powerful experience, although it sounded like it was a bit difficult. Ego death does not have to be scary, for every death comes a rebirth. Last time I stood up with my psychedelic sword and plunged it into my heart, I dropped to the ground, I swear my heart stopped, and kachoooooooo.....reboot. I was reborn. It is a major part of my trip, and actually the last few times i have not killed myself, but have felt like my heart literally stops, and then im reborn. And we are all of one consiousness and all part of the masters master dream and so that is the feeling of oneness. Because we are all one, with each other, with the plants and animals, the dirt and rocks, the planet the sun, the stars, the entire universe.

Glad to hear you had such a powerful experience, although it sounded like it was a bit difficult. Ego death does not have to be scary, for every death comes a rebirth. Last time I stood up with my psychedelic sword and plunged it into my heart, I dropped to the ground, I swear my heart stopped, and kachoooooooo.....reboot. I was reborn. It is a major part of my trip, and actually the last few times i have not killed myself, but have felt like my heart literally stops, and then im reborn. And we are all of one consiousness and all part of the masters master dream and so that is the feeling of oneness. Because we are all one, with each other, with the plants and animals, the dirt and rocks, the planet the sun, the stars, the entire universe.

It has been a few weeks since this experience, and it is still very much with me. I find much more satisfaction in my daily routine, and I have a new respect for viewpoints other then my own. I have not spoke to Dimitri again and more then likely will not in the near future.

I feel I was given a new lease on life, and have found a new respect for both myself and my fellow man.

Ah, the spirit molecule shatters more boundaries. I have as well experienced the "de-atomizing". I was swept up with a swooning sensual loving feeling as well though, so I am sorry to hear that you were not, brother. I posted my very first experience, under the title "An experiential examination" Check it out if you have the time.