Good!!

As long as you are not going behind her back to do it, or feeling guilty because you know she doesn't really like the idea of you doing it.
She doesn't need any interest in doing it herself, or even be involved at all.
Just understanding & compassionate. Like most things with any good partner!


I predict you are going to bloom like fire once you get this hanging on thing figured out!
It is going to wash over you like long awaited honey, when you find the source of this & let it go!!


Starting out with just one small/med toke was good advice!
Not enough to turn it all on, just the beginning...if things are feeling cool...maybe 2 more like 15-20 minutes later, etc...
Build it back up...get to know the normal sensations & go from there.

Also work on deep, slow breathing techniques.
Use this to calm yourself & prepare for a few minutes before smoking.
Use this during the experience to calm yourself, just pay attention to long, slow deep breaths & allow your thoughts to come up & just fall away...not to ignore the experience, but to quiet the anxious thought flood & let it happen.
(you can think about it all later )

Keep us all posted!


Cheers!
WS

Or how about unlearning to hang on!!!


WS

Interesting way to think about the problem. It can help to face the fear in a new and more rich way. Instead of fear of death, the fear of life. Instead of fear of being pushed out of control, the fear of surrender yourself. These are fears I'm carrying inside me for a long, long time. And even after treating myself in a therapy context for some years now, they still insist on accompanying me. But then came this new fear: the fear of sudden death due to some health complications during DMT administration. I was really scared.

Last night I met a friend to talk specifically about this physical sense of an imminent death. While for me this is something completely new and unusual, for him the fear of death is a already known buddy. That is it, he feels the fear, pain in his chest and sometimes he feels that effectively and physically he is going to die. And yet, days later he is smoking DMT again. Hah!

Definitely, I still have much to learn.

Sounds like your already quite on your way!!


BTW, the symptoms you are explaining are very similar to common anxiety attacks, don't let your mind get the beter of you just because a foreign chemical is involved!!

If you feel this again next time, try to calm yourself & instead of trying to shut off what your trying to show yourself, say yes to it...try to figure out what is at the core of the fear you are feeling!
This leads to extinguishing it!! May take some real introspection though!

Pay attention!


WS

I don't think you can die of amazement

I've come close...

lol


and that wich does not kill you only makes you stronger. Pain is weakness leaving the body.

*doublepost!!

I'm experiencing more stress in the recent years than ever before. I'm working at two different jobs, trying to finish a post-graduation, dealing with my family specially my mother which is severely sick, and recently I was put on a court by the neurotic family of a schizophrenic patient.

Sounds like a lot but I do not complain too much. Everybody has problems and having problems is not a problem

I believe one the most important things in life is to accept our problems and difficulties, cultivating a good and healthy way to deal with then (easy to speak, I know).

But despite being a pretty ugly guy, I take some care with my body. I practice some daily light exercises and meditation (when I have some spare time, I confess). Also, I quit smoking two years ago, an attitude that made an immense difference in my life, an immense good. And years ago I gave myself a perpetual gift (at least while I have the money to pay for it): a weekly, professional, rejuvenating massage.

And I think the most important of all: I'm practicing bioenergetic therapy a few years now. Bioenergetic liberated me to feel more spontaneously without excessive self-judgment and self-criticism, and to express my feelings without fear of judgment and criticism by others. This means that I often need to apologize to someone because I'm not perfect, I get confused, I made mistakes and I value many things incorrectly. But I learn a lot too even with my own mistakes and I'm not carrying it inside me anymore, trapped in my body, as if it was wrong to express my feelings and my own mistakes.

I don't know if this is as extreme as dying, but my friend told me this story. He decided to microdose, test his new Baoding balls, and reflect on what he did that day, what he could have done that day, what he can do tomorrow. However, after inhaling his threshold dose he felt like his inner metabolism was moving backwards. As if he was doing negative work on his brain. As if he picked the wrong place or more likely the wrong time. He felt like he just filled himself with fear. He rejected the feeling so much that he threw up (he's reading about chakras and is fascinated by them, now every time he thinks of allergic reactions or throwing up or rejecting ideas he thinks of the Anahata chakra). As always, he learned much from the experience.


He isn't sure whether it was caused by impure spice, impure intentions, or by a body yearning for a healthier diet and more exercise, so he'll work on all three and see if it helps.

SWIM used the same batch of spice and the same microdose today, and was pleasantly carried into a mixture of an idea and a dream. An amalgamation of interesting ideas stored in his head for quite some time danced through his awareness, culminating with a plan to somehow get more people interested in the brain at the Nexus. After all, DMT sitting on a shelf isn't that interesting; it is the way that DMT affects our brain that keeps us coming back here. By the time SWIM realized what was going on and what he was thinking about, the idea slipped through his mind like water through his fingers (I guess I only have enough CSF to cook up an idea but not enough to remember it).

He was left with a sense of bewilderment, an invigorated spirit, a neat idea and a smile on his face that he couldn't hide even if he wanted to. He loves this molecule.

Seriously, I wish I could stylishly express how much I appreciate this website. I've grown very fond of it very quickly.

The physical feelings of DMT can be quite intense. I've noticed that when I get close to breaking through my body gets a very odd feeling of pressure, like it's made out of rippling energy pressing down on me. I kind of enjoy it but the intensity of it can be unnerving. I very much doubt you could even come close to dying just from smoking DMT.

I'm pretty sure you'd become incapacitated long before you managed to overdose from vaping DMT.