Fractal thanks very much for that link to Thomas campbell .. I love this guy !!!!

he's talking some real sense . thank you

This is an interesting post and resonates with me on a deeper level than I can articulate.

Part of my back-story involving psychedelics is founded in my inability to 'lose control.' I've never gone over board, found myself in a loop, or believed in some impossible reality. I've always been able to handle any situation during my psychedelic experiences, and in many ways I welcome the experience of day-to-day activities under the influence because it adds an element of chaos and absurdity to what is basic, boring, routine human existence; I use those words VERY loosely because I actually admire the beauty of the human vessel on all of it's levels. For me in my psychedelic use, I have always been acutely aware of the fact that I had taken a mind-altering substance, and that awareness always kept my feet on the ground. And my first few uses of DMT weren't very exciting. I hadn't gone any where amazing, but I had seen some neat stuff. In some ways I think I was doing it wrong, but mostly I was simply not able to let go. That was until I added a level of intention to it..

My first serious breakthrough brought me to tears although I couldn't actually tell you why - I don't remember most of it. I remember taking off and I remember coming back in vivid detail. But there is this blackness in my memory that carries a very unusual intentional presence.. as if I wasn't allowed to remember what happened. As if the experience was purposefully stricken from my conscious recall. I also believe that this breakthrough happened because of the factors invested in the intentions I had. I literally wanted to have my mind blown away. I wanted to be shown something I couldn't rationalize. I wanted to know, beyond any reasonable doubt, that I had completely and utterly lost all sense of control. So when it was my turn to take a journey I cleared my mind, focused heavily on the potential stored in the spice, and said out loud and to myself over and over, "Show me something that will blow my mind." Also, I had usually stopped taking hits when I felt the first rush hit me, and this time I had committed to taking in the spice until I could no longer distinguish my hands from the rest of the world. At that point I would know without question that I was no longer in control. And that's exactly what I did, and that's exactly what happened.

I remember my hands folding into the floor, and my pants doing the same. The blue bleeding out, and as the definition of my hands and my legs started to blur and vibrate into the space around me the waves of fractals moved me while sat still. I leaned back into the chair and started to see wonderful visions of colors, and what would become a familiar experience later - a sort of flaring spot-light that moves and dances around the shadows of whatever particular geometries I happen to be shown. The next thing I remember is a horizon of light, I was looking 'down' at the ground and followed the rays up to the horizon where the bursting star was the emitting the most brilliant light, it was the brightest light I'd ever seen but it was not blinding to me. What looked like 8-bit rays of energy were flowing in from the northern half of the horizon. It was at this moment that I became aware of the fact that I was making these observations, and that for some unknown amount of time before that I had *not* been making these observations.. I wasn't present.. and that I had in fact left this place. When I was finally back to being coherent I felt touched, different.. I felt acknowledged.

Anyways, to stay on topic.. since that night my relationship with the spice became something of an esoteric experience. I built an anxiety with spice that made it difficult to just sit down and journey, I had to do more. I knew after that experience that we had far more control over the end result than people account for. While we don't chose the events that take place during our journey, I believe our sub-conscience certainly picks the river to swim in. I've also been intensely focused on the recall of these experiences. I meditate with binaural beats prior to smoking spice every time so that I can calm my highly attention deficit mind, so that I can let go of any unforeseen attachments, and to heighten my sensitivity. I try to focus on my intention for the journey, and to find 'the right way to make the request.' I am mostly able to make full recalls of my trips now, and I believe with practice I can prolong them, take them different directions, and participate in them. I am always looking for ways to incorporate the Truth into the mortal experience; storing the spice on/in a crystal, or energized/blessed stone. Setting the space with humility and love, burning the sacred Sage for cleansing, setting your head space and cleansing it to be open to receiving, etc. I believe very much in these things - because I believe they are ALL aspects of the elements that we praise. I do not understand the devout love of a narcotic without the acknowledgement of it's divine manifestation. I do not understand casual journeys, although I try to remember to it is different for each person, and a mother loves all of her children for their individuality and not for their conspiring to be the same.

Still, this is what it means to me. And with all the contexts of the human capacity for divine action, to shape and carve the planet, to love and to hate, to resonate with synchronicity, I believe the levels that we can reach with the medicine goes far beyond being a spectator.

Please keep me informed of your experiences, especially when you acknowledge new aspects of these journeys.

Namaste~

Firstly, that entire post​​​​​​​​​​​​ was very well written. Im very grammatically​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ dyslexic ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​and would love that level of coherence when writing!

Anyway.

Finally, someone who has understood my question! I appreciate your honesty and resonate with the idea of being grounded when the DMT experience happens.

Dont get me wrong, thats not to say being grounded takes away from the "awe" of the the magic molecule, but to take awareness that next step further, some grounding is necessary. Like i mentioned before, if you are new to DMT or have any trauma, past or present, then DMT will bring them to the forefront for you to take head on and deal with.

All manifestations of trauma stem from the essence of fear, and in order to accomplish an ego-death and the "re-birth" of the "self", you must have the courage to meet situations head on. (easier said than done......i know )

I think it would be a shame if those with a healthy curiosity regarding hyperspace were to simply forever be watching. I say "watching" loosely because IMO we are all guiding our own experiences from the point of the higher self, so ultimately we are never passengers. The trick IMO is to tap into that subconscious energy in order to interact with it. How to interact with it? I dont know, but it will have its own set of principles. And then when your intent is true(This point is critical), only then will we be able to influence hyperspace reality consciously.

Intent is always with you. Its like a shadow. In this 4D reality you only see a silhouette of it at best, and thats only when light(awareness) is shed onto it. This then leads to my other sticking point which was entropy.

Anyone with half a brain cell would pretty much agree that entropy and awareness are negatively correlated. ie Reduce entropy and awareness increases, and visa-versa. To reduce subconscious entropy which tends to be filled with a countless array of traumas we have buried deep down, we MUST deal with them, simple. And i think we can all agree that entheogens used correctly can help people deal with trauma buried deep inside.

So after dealing with all you have tucked away, and IMO you have to clear your whole closet out first, however long it may take. Then you have to make sure your intent is true, look into the bottom of your heart and know its pure. And after you have probably been scared shitless, if you can still have a balance of mind, coupled with courage

courage = a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain despite fear

I believe ANYTHING is possible. IMO

Thanks for your time

I don't think it's worthwhile to discredit the reason we develop fears from traumatic experiences, without them, as you've pointed out, there would be no courage. As infants we are given these as tools for survival, as adolescents we use these tools to build character, as adults we pass these tools on to our brethren and our children. Fear, in my humble opinion, should be acknowledged as the dark side of the moon. The other half of the whole. I believe that without fear, without suffering, without darkness, we can not develop an appreciation for the light.

There seems to be a yearning from people to reach out and touch the essence of love, but I feel that too often people take this for granted and forget that there is a dark side of the moon. There is a place where the light does not shine, and this place, to me, exists as a matter of necessity. My intentions are to find answers to questions I can't put into words. For me, that exhibits a totality and, for me, makes more sense when taking a journey. I enter with an understanding and appreciation for all my emotional affects and effects. This is how I understand this topic.

In fact, I look forward to being terrified. It's an emotional response that I've only slightly experienced, more or less, I've been afraid of being terrified, and I'd like to know what that feels like.