Greetings Nexus, before getting to the question I first want to offer a little background so you can better understand the question and where I'm coming from.
I have in the past abused substances. Ive used them as a sort of crutch to try and skate through situations and I didn't truly understand or care to understand the long-term consequences of not facing my problems directly. I think that I have an idea of the healing potential that ayahuasca has although I have never actually done it.
I have only experienced pharmahuasca with rue (besides smoked experiences) but in that experience I realized that it isn't just something that you just do without a reason. After that experience I made a concious decision to make it a priority in my life to become a better person. I made the decision to stop tripping until I am at a point in my life where I need guidance. I thought this would be months or even years down the line, but I feel like I have lost sight of the direction I was headed. I feel like somebody that was navigating through the woods with a GPS, but my GPS slowly ran out of power and is now almost dead.
I really want to rejuvinate this spark and as a result help myself but one of the most important things I have learned so far is that I need to stop coming up with temporary solutions to permanent problems and instead come up with permanent solutions. I truly feel like I could benefit from an Ayahuasca experience but it has been so soon since that pharma experience I don't want this to become something that I turn to unless I actually need it. I don't want Ayahuasca to become another substance to keep me from facing my problems.
Question partI feel like I might be ready for Ayahuasca and I feel like I would be approaching it on my hands and knees but I feel like it may be too soon. I would like to hear you guy's and girl's opinions on where I stand on readiness for Ayahuasca. How do you guy's/girl's keep it from becoming a band-aid?
P.S. (Update!) Since that last pharma experience (I think it's been a little over a month) I have SEVERELY cut down my overall drug use and broken my addiction to marijuana. I have been a cleaner person and am eating healthier. admitedly I do still smoke a bowl of ganja periodically (maybe 1 or 2 a week) but I enjoy it a lot more when I'm not doing it 24/7.
"I'm creeping back to life, my nervous system all awry, I'm wearing the inside out. Look at him now, he's paler somehow, but he's coming round. He's starting to choke It's been so long since he spoke, well he can have the words right from my mouth. And with these words I can see, clear through the clouds that covered me, Just give it time then speak my name. now we can hear ourselves again" Pink Floyd- Wearing the Inside Out
Mogascreeta is a pathological liar and should not be taken seriously under any circumstance.