2c-e is not a recreational experience. it is not "fun."
i go into psychedelics for personal growth and expansion but i would be lying (and so would anyone else) to say that i don't enjoy the bliss and joy that come from them.
bliss and joy are valid aspects of Spirit and can be enjoyed in a spiritual fashion, that is to say, calmly and not manically and obsessively.
all psychedelics i've ever taken (all the naturals and a few synthetics) had a certain amount of bliss in them.
2c-e seems a striking omission in the "enjoyment" department.
a lot of people have difficulty with 2c-e, it doesn't take much reading to see many a manic freak-out from it's usage.
people speak, often, of being intensely uncomfortable while on it for the entire duration.
i assumed this to be a dosage phenomena, and chose to start "low" with 10 mgs.
i had heard that 2c-e is similar in dosage to 2c-b, albeit a little more potent.
a
LITTLE bit?!?!? yeah....
an hour after dosing i'm pretty much floored by how hard it's coming on.
especially so realizing i have another half-hour to come up still.
sure enough, by an hour and 15 minutes i'm so freakin' high i decide that praying is my only option here.
looking at a picture of a great spiritual master brings me infinite comfort and peace.
suddenly his face transforms into a sinister looking alien reptile.
"okay....no more looking at people's faces......"
2c-b makes me feel like the whole world has turned into soft, blissful pillows.
2c-e felt like the whole world turned into razor sharp buzz-saws of ego pulverization.
if LSD is called "pushy," 2c-e is "shove you on the ground, pin you, and buzz-saw your ego to pieces."
of course this depends on dosage...no blanket statements here....
an interesting aspect of the experience was it's utter emotional blandness.
i kept thinking to myself that it felt like my "wings were clipped."
that is to say, i felt suppressed and "pinned down" somehow.
like the medicine wasn't letting me soar in high skies of blissful freedom.
the sensations coursing through my body started as joyful and would kinda get "blunted" in body tension and discomfort. i couldn't get comfortable the entire time. one of the most hideous body-loads imaginable.
the discomfort was entirely based on the kundalini energy in my spine being WAY to strong for my poor aching body to handle.
i've experienced this similar sensation on any overdose of a phenethylamine, not just synthetic.
too much mescaline gives me this "kundalini discomfort" too. bridgesii is especially ass-kicking in this regard.
2c-b feels like it "fits" in my body very well....that is to say, the kundalini is not too strong to handle.
the energy from the 2c-e got so intense after about 2 hours that my arms and legs started completely going numb and no amount of changing their position would bring them "back to life."
to top it off, i could actually audibly hear a "whooping" sound (like the sound of a helicopter blade spinning) emitting from the center of my body. at first i thought it was a helicopter or a car, but then i put on ear plugs and realized that it was the audible sound of such an intense barrage of energy!!!!! this was no child's play trip!!
the force coming through me was so strong that i actually feared the atoms of my body would become
"un-hinged" and fly out into space.
i prayed deeply for peace and acceptance to be restored. i prayed to let go into the force and let it take me.
the inner voice clearly said, "i'm not here to save you from this experience, i'm here to teach you the secrets of death."
shaky and nervous i said, "ummmm okay....."
with that i lied down on my back and practiced releasing tension in my spine and muscles.
then i started to go breathless for about a 30 seconds to a minute at a time. (i counted at one point)
as i exhaled, my breath would not return to me for a seeming eternity and whenever that happened things that were utterly impossible would happen.
i have no way to remember or explain what these "impossibilities" were. it was astral travel of some sort.
the soul would leave to body and experience things beyond the scope of physical limitation.
when the breath left, the visions would obscure a well-lit room to the point of an inability to recognize the physical surroundings. i thought to myself, "this is easily as intense as a solid dose of smoked DMT and WAY longer....."
the impossibilities were somehow linked to seeing at least a thousand images superimposed onto one another while simultaneously beholding them all. like some sort of hyper-dimensional omniscient consciousness of omnipresence.
not only was my pulse racing a mile-a-minute, but i also felt that i had an incredibly high fever.
it was this consciousness of "fever" that produced the most fear in me.
there were always two "me's" during the trip.....and on any trip for that matter.
one is the silent, indifferent witness to all things that happen. this is soul awareness.
the other was a scared ego trying in vain to hold onto what is slipping through his hands like sand.
but this "fever" was only experienced by the ego, and it produced the sensation of a tangible and frightening delerium. i actually thought it felt more like a datura stupor than a hightened awareness at one point.
i've had many high-dose experiences but this was very unique in the way that it felt like my ego-thoughts were spinning out of my conscious control. i began fearing for my safety thinking i might do something crazy.
(even though i know i never would!!!)
now that i think about it, i've experienced that "spinning wildly out of control" thing with acid and a black-out dose of ayahuasca before. it's just been a while since it had hit me full bore.
also, as mentioned before, this wildness was not accompanied by any euphoria whatsoever so it just felt maddening.
after 2 1/2 hours it started fading a little bit, much to my relief.
though i felt so jangly and speedy that i wanted something to sooth my nerves.
i actually entertained thoughts of wanting valium or wine (two things i would
never normally enjoy).
ANYTHING to get this energy to mellow out!!
all i had was cannabis.....
not wanting to sky-rocket into another psychedelic oblivion, i kept taking really tiny tokes at first.
the thing is, i was soo high that when i would breath out (with or without smoking) all i would see is rainbow smoke coming out of my mouth!!!!
so i couldn't even tell if was getting a solid toke or not cos the visuals were too strong!!! wacky stuff.
so opted to take a slightly larger hit "just to be sure."
oh my........
it shot the peak up well past the original intensity and stayed there for a solid hour and a half more.
at this point i didn't even care.
i kept laughing to myself about how jacked i felt and was enjoying (as much as i could) the most astounding visuals any drug could ever produce EVER.
seriously though, the amount and intensity of visuals was on par only with high-dose smoked DMT.
LSD and mescaline could NEVER step up to what 2c-e was revealing!!! utterly mind-blowing, obscuring any trace of recognition of the outside world even with eyes open in a well-lit room!
but strangely i look at this experience with utter awe and amazement at such an incredibly powerful tool.
someone described it as a "difficult yet worthwhile experience," and i can't agree more.
as i was coming down, i pretty much entertained no thoughts of ever wanting to try it again!!
but strangely the next day, talking to my trip buddy, i found myself praising the medicine somehow.
he said, "nothing you've said makes me wanna take it." i couldn't agree more.
it was a terrible, uncomfortable, dark, almost sinister experience at points but there was a power of honest introspection there that is utterly beyond what i've encountered on any psychedelic, "natural" or synthetic.
the reason why it was so profound, i feel, is because there was no mask of bliss to hide behind.
sometimes on mescaline i'm enjoying the experience so ecstatically that i'm not even really paying attention to what it's trying to say to me on a deep level cos i'm too busy laughing my ass off enjoying myself!!
2c-b is similar, i think it's such a talkative, blissful experience that i get distracted by how good i feel at times!!!
2c-e has no props. no toys to play with. no euphoria (for me at least). nothing....
nothing except awareness of how ego is such a tense, complaining, whiner with no agenda other than to ruin your life with it's incessant nagging and complaining!
i don't think i'll be visiting Mr. Ego Shredder again soon.
and when i do i will start at 6 mgs.
please be careful with this one, friends!!
i don't know how you guys take 15-20 mgs. of that stuff!!!!!!!!!!!