My latest changa experienceI loaded the pipe with a small heap of changa; a more adventurous dose than previous times. My setting was my comfortable bed with the soft light of a yellow lamp. As I exhaled I felt the familiar euphoric rush and closed my eyes. I began to hear the ringing sound which I've heard before, but this time it seemed much louder and more intense - perhaps at a slightly higher pitch. To my surprise it disappeared quickly and was replaced by silence. The hallucinations were initially symmterical, two-dimensional, yellow and unfolding themselves upwards. The symmetry of these images combined with the euphoria I was experiencing gave the trip a distinct divine feeling. Next I felt a powerful force which was unexpected as I thought I had already completed the ascent. The force could be described as the feeling of my mind being wrenched from my physical body. My lips felt cold, and my sense of self was challenged. The thought passed through my mind that I might be experiencing death. I sought to gain back my identity, I focused on my name, repeating it in my mind over and over. I told myself, "I am a human being!" and managed to hang onto my numbed physical body by a delicate thread. The peak of the sensation then passed and I covered my eyes to see what effect darkness would have on the visuals. I saw a light blue, three-dimensional space with a small platform. Above the platform there hovered a transparent glass-like shape which continuously morphed and inverted itself, its initial form seemed like a very large kidney bean, and its other permutations were also round by difficult to discern from my perspective. The image quickly faded and I opened my eyes to see an organically shaped glowing grid overlaying my vision. I lied back and enjoyed the pleasant sensation the changa left me with.
The trip seemed to last two minutes, I looked at the clock and ten minutes had passed. This seems to be the reverse of the typical time dilation I have read about in other's DMT experience reports. The velocity of the ascent caused me to respond in a frightened way. By familiarising myself with these feelings I think I may be able to 'let go' more easily.
What does it mean to exist?