sorry for the long one...i chopped a bunch out to not put the hurt on your poor eyeballs.... in short, i had three powerful journeys the other day during a L.O.V.E. gathering. i will share the two that rocked me to my fundament...

JOURNEY #1:

looking back, this journey has solidly confirmed my belief that DMT is best worked with at what i would call a 'level 1 breakthrough'. this is the breakthrough that gets you through the geometry and into the worlds, beings and visions BUT does not remove your sense of self. it takes a bit of work to consistently reach this degree of depth without under or over-shooting it, but once you've figured out your accurate dosage and technique it is truly the 'sweet spot' with this gift that is DMT.

i was exactly in this place with one solid hit of the pipe. what i saw was profound AND i was able to speak through the most educational portion of it. IM and Neuro were able to discuss with me all of the finer points upon my return and for that i am eternally grateful. the journey's highlights were as follows:

i was in a pyramid or some other large stone structure. i was a child. i stood with an old man (my father?) above what appeared to be a stone bathtub that was filled with water. interestingly, though i was in a stone structure and a deep part of my psyche had already affixed "Egypt" to this scenario, the environment was literally saturated with moisture. water everywhere. in bowls, in basins, the walls of the stones....water everywhere...

i was clad in a loincloth and i could see the rectangular light that was a doorway leading to outside of the building i was in. a man walked toward me/us and - though large (impossibly large) stones blocked his direct path- he pushed them aside like we would do with curtains today. the stones simply moved as if they were weightless and it was done without a second thought...

in my mind there, i simply knew that the WATER had something to do with this...and it all made perfect sense to me...

and now i was outside of the structure. it was, in fact, a pyramid. i have been here so many times throughout my work with the molecule. never this slowed down and accessible though....it was as if i was truly allowed to live for a moment in this place. to explore and to know what it was like...

and here is where i will sadly fall short in my desperate attempt to convey a gift so precious and profound...

i am standing in a great courtyard outside of this pyramidal structure. the pyramid looks smooth and perfect....absurdly so....like the great pyramid of the giza plateau. and yet, it is SO lush and fecund here. i simply know, in the way that we all just know while in contact with the oneness of hyperspace, that i am NOT in the central-americas. i KNOW that i am where Egypt is now....but long before....long before even the most preposterous alternative egyptologists would suggest civilization ever existed there. 20, 30, 40+ thousand years ago...this was another world..and yet...undeniably THIS world.

it is night-time and the stars are so bright and so much a part of the field of my vision that my vision itself is skewed. the physical landmarks that are on the ground are almost a direct mirror of the stars that are directly above. they are palpable. they are not something 'up there'...they are the completion of a sphere of consciousness that envelops me.

and then it happens...

i see geometry. it is not a little like when a breakthrough begins, it is EXACTLY like that...except....the geometry is formed by the stars above and the structures on the earth below. there are lines made of light....circles made of light....they form prisms...cubes within cubes....tesseracts of another dimension.

and i am standing directly amid all of this.

there is no time...no space...there is only the cubes, cylindes, cones, orbs that infinitely connect and intersect. there is no distance between things. the constellations above me are as close to me as the pyramid just a few meters in front of me. i am in all places and all times. this is where i am. this is where i am now. i understand the bigger picture. it is not the 'biggest' picture (somehow i am made aware that there are even deeper connections and dimensions), but for now my mind is thoroughly rapt. i am home and my home just expanded by what seems like infinity.

i had this journey a handful of days ago and i feel it's 'realness' and relevance now as clearly as when it was happening. there is something happening. something coming. it is profound and it is so much more in accordance with the everything that surrounds us than the world we currently have limited ourselves with. in our over-emphasis on the self, we have cut ourselves off from something so much more expansive and vast.

i personally believe that an 'opportunity' to once again begin viewing life in this massive scope is upon us. i do believe that focussed, responsible work with DMT is a powerful way to see this shift coming and to prepare for it. not the only way..but an undeniably legitimate option...

JOURNEY #2:

in almost 1,300 journeys i have never gone 'too far'... i would say that at least 75-80% of my journeys have been full-fledged breakthroughs, but of all those maybe 6 have been what i would call a 'level 3 ego-death' breakthrough. for most, just one of these is enough to last a lifetime....and i am like most in this respect. though the seeming DNA-upgrade and realigning that has taken place during these grand-daddies is truly a gift, they are harrowing and require a LOT of time to integrate and process...

i had my 7th. i am glad to have had my brothers there with me because, in truth, it was just slightly more than i could handle.

there is a 'tickle' in my lungs that i get when i take a breakthrough hit. no joke- i simply know when it's going to be a legitimate breakthrough when i feel that little tickle at the end of a deep, long hit. it didn't surprise me at all to learn quite recently that DMT receptors are found in large concentrations in....your....lungs....

so when an enormous plume of white vapor began to form almost from the onset of my lighting the torch, i knew this hit was going to be huge. and it was. and the tickle came early...with an enormous amount of vapor still left to clear out of the pipe.

which i did.

i was dead. i expanded and disintegrated and continued to disintegrate. each atom dissoving into an infinte number of smaller particles and each one of those doing the same....infinitely.

i was never coming back. i was only going to keep expanding and expanding until...well....i do not know....

i got scared. this was my first true taste of DMT terror. i didn't even understand the concept of language, but i remember early on trying to say 'yes' simply to shift the fear into a positive vibration.

the word yes was simply a triangular shape that broke into three pieces and fell like colored rain. language made no sense. sense made no sense. this was a complete untethering from any left-brain vestige that might have stowed-away on my hyperspace craft. i was completely in the flow of the right-brain and the infinite ocean of creativity. i had died....

and i stayed dead forever.

when i had gone, i was sitting in a chair in my meditative posture. the minute i even remotely had any kind of awareness of anything at all (it honestly felt like i was a gas slowly becoming a liquid slowly becoming a solid), i fell forward in a heap onto my bed. face down. drool pouring from my mouth. i could not speak...i could not think...i was still vastly gone and it would be another lifetime before i could even pick my utterly flaccid body upright and begin the arduous process of becoming a human again.

i'm sure that on some level a breakthrough of this magnitude is important and good....but i still haven't found that 'level'. in truth, i simply cannot work AT ALL with that level of annihilation. it was simply too much and, as i told both of my journey companions, "i was just taken beyond the current limits of my own mind".

there are limits as it happens....and i had just found mine.

in retrospect, i can say with certainty that DMT is a tool beyond value for exploring the psyche and awakening dormant spirtiual 'receivers' within us all. however, just as turning up the volume too high can blow your speakers.....so too taking too high a dose of DMT can just as easily blow your pyschic speakers out. unlike actual speakers, our psyches will heal and we will be stronger for our experience...but all the same....i have been, and continue to be, an advocate for finding that perfect dose that enables one to truly 'work' with the medicine.

if i never have a journey of that magnitude again, i ain't gonna complain!!

but then again.....if you don't push to find the parameters of your psyche, you're always going to be left wondering if there's more out there that you could have seen... i suppose a nice death once a year or so will keep that curiosity satisfied...

i'm baaaack.....

with the deepest LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

Sissy.

Just kidding.

hehehe....yeah....maybe i need to go join catfancier.com now....

HAHAHA!!!

oh art...come give your boy a big ol' hug. that one was a doozy...

There seems to be a level where one can't actually bring anything back when it comes to larger doses of smoked spice. I have yet to reach that plateau, but do you think its still worth it?

Beautiful, thanks for this.

I've had 8 trips, I'm still finding my way in there, but my last one did feel like I had broken through to a "second" level. I identify very much with the idea, and I was blown out of my mind by the beauty of the timelessness, maybe you read my recent report.

You've described here occurrences of level 1 and 3, but I'm curious, can you describe the difference between 2 and 3? It's certainly beyond language, I know, but what I thought of as level 2 basically felt like a blissful version of your level 3. That "vertical" dimension is the one I can most easily seem to map out, so I'd love to know more about it. I totally agree with working in level 1 though - in fact I feel that's how I accessed level 2; by becoming one with the jimjam through some form of meditation and self-control and being propelled from there by the sudden oneness.

Welcome back

As always, an amazing, incredible account of your experiences. Thanks for sharing.

From time to time, people ask about DMT, “How far does it go?” My answer is always that there is no limit. There is no limit to how far DMT can take us, but each of us has limits in terms of how far we can go. And occasionally, we are taken further than we can go.

DMT has no limits. But we most certainly do.

Before one reaches his limit, there is a very natural curiosity. How far does this go? How far can I go? I found my limit, and once you do, there is no more curiosity. My curiosity about how far I can go has been permanently satisfied.

A great report Ant, thanks for that.

I'm finding it hard to get to that "perfect" amount, sometimes too little and sometimes too much, but I try to accept each experience for what it is and either hold on hard or ride with the light flow.

Not to get into a discussion of what is real and what is not, all I can say is that I've seen things that AFAIK I couldn't possibly imagine, so I feel that various energies are present ( possibly eternally present energies ) that we can tap into. Why so often so many of us feel energies from Egypt? Maybe they did know how to "live forever" and their energy is still somehow present?

With more work I'm finding that paying attention to and enjoying (rather than fearing ) the body load and going with that release is allowing my swim to enter in a more relaxed state and get more from the experiences.

I hope to visit the healing room again later this year when I'm back in the area My Brother!

I've been to that zone bro. its a tough ride. I think we spoke about it a while back.

It changed my whole attitude about this stuff. Its like Niagra Falls is not that far downstream.

I agree that the lower manageable doses are the way to go. I pulled myself out of a super intense one a few days back.

My core self was tiny but reachable and I reached out and found myself in the midst of the alien chaos. I was scared but held my ground and talked myself through it. I think it may be possible to slowly learn to manage it short of that total terrifying annihilation of the self.

be well my brother

antrocles do you mind sharing what the dosage was with those two journeys?

also

you mentioned fine tuning your dosing to arrive between the not enough and not too much zones.

what is that dosage for you?

I understand that dosage is only half of the equation, proper vaporization being the other half.I also understand that it is different for each individual. Just curious as to what it was for you?

I understand what you mean by too much.

I have also experienced the flash and then death.
other times I dose too high and I experience an amnesia of sorts.

DK- yes, i think it's worth it. as harrowing as complete annihilation journeys like these are, i do feel that they have there merits. namely, they show you YOUR limits. as my wise brother Gibran2 pointed out, "DMT has no limits, but WE most certainly do." i think it's important to find that limit and, again as Gibran pointed out, "once you find your limit, there is no more curiosity". so yes, i do think it's worth it....gulp...

Shayku- welcome brother! i have been away for a spell so you are new to me. i very much look forward to getting to know you and hearing about your work! as for your question, i have broken down breaking through thusly:

Level 1: ascension through the geometry. the world of visions is made manifest. places, beings, illuminations....all are shown while still being aware that there is a YOU witnessing it all. you are the viewer of the vision, the receiver of the messages, the thinker of the thoughts regarding your experience.

Level 2: you have now completely left your body and any residual memory of it. you are not only the viewer of what you see, but you are also that which you are viewing. you still understand language to some degree and if you tried, you could make your physical self say something like, "yes" and it would have a positive effect on your experience. you still know of a 'you' and are able to mentally work through any challenging situation you might find your mind involved in. you are at your psychological threshold.

Level 3: complete ego-death. there is no longer language or any ability to understand even the most fundamental thought process. you have lost the ability to 'perceive' anything....your experience is simply pure experience and no assessment of said experience is possible. whereas in a Level 2 breakthrough you experience a sense of timelessness....there is still a trail of mental breadcrumbs available to you....by which i mean, you are still able to tell yourself , "okay...this will end at some point....just ride it out..". in a Level 3 breakthrough, timelessness is....well....truly timeless. i'm not fooling around with my words here. my experience was utterly eternal and i honestly found myself having an extremely rocky re-entry. i genuinely did NOT think i was coming back.... Level 3 breakthroughs are the complete dissolution of self. nothing is spared. this is a profoundly invaluable experience....but one that needn't be endured more than once for most. in truth, i have gone through 7 of these now...and only because i simply took too much. i don't believe that i would ever CHOOSE one of these at this point in my work with the molecule, but because i don't weigh my doses, it is bound to happen from time to time.

i might start weighing out my doses from now on....

G2- you are there. you know exactly what i'm talking about my wise brother...

MadBanshee- it would be my honor to have you back in the healing room!! get back out here my dear friend!

Felnik- i've been meaning to call you back brother....sounds like you had quite a deep one yourself! can't wait to hear more about it. i'm glad you are in agreement that the lower doses are the way to go. as human beings in our current state of evolution, i think we are simply limited by where we are. for we brave soldiers of the mind, we courageously push the boundaries and explore the dark, unlit regions of this excruciatingly important aspect of ourselves. this medicine we have found....it truly IS limitless in it's ability to help us in our explorations....but without time to integrate and work on ourselves in THIS reality, we simply can't get the most out of what we have found. it's delicate work. it's crucial work. it's extremely rewarding work if done with absolute respect and clarity of intent.

IHS- love and gratitude brother. i've been enjoying your postings even though i haven't been able to do much posting of my own. as for my doseage....well.....as i said above, i usually just load up a GVG with as much changa as i can put and then i'll sometimes add more spice on top. i've recently fortified all of my changas with a large extraction yield so i'd say my blends are all nearly 2:1 spice to leaf. extremely potent....

what i can say is this- i have a HUGE lung capacity. it's the by-product of my job. when i take an ideal Level 1 breakthrough hit, i would estimate that i am getting about 30 mg. into my lungs. i am extremely sensitive to spice at this point so that is absolutely enough to break me straight through to the perfect, workable place. the dose i took in my second, Level 3 journey was easily 50 mg. maybe even a bit more. WAAAAAAAY more than needed for yours truly.

thanks for all the love you guys. i'm still licking my wounds from this one. probably gonna take a week or so to fully integrate the sheer magnitude of such a profound death experience.

"that which does not kill us makes us stronger..."

what does that say about "that which DOES kill us???"

L&G!!

Hello Ant, it nice to see a fresh journey post from you! The eloquence of your posts always leave me a tad envious
I would like to add a level 4 to your list and that is as follows:

This is a level in between ego death and blackout, a thankfully short level I have experienced at least three times.
Each of these times I had no idea what was happening, except the overwhelming feeling that the atmosphere had changed dramatically , all the air was gone and I wasnt even on earth anymore. In front of me was a creature, black as pitch, with tentacle yo-yo'ing towards me. These tentacles were entering my chest and drumming my heart. Behind this creature running in random patterns was red, green and blue neon tubes.... ...Each time this has happened , as soon as the shock of what I was seeing hit the bottom of my brain, I shot out of bed,right back at baseline, heart thudding ...eyes wide.

I too find that 30mg is just about right for a good breakthrough...The ones that make you feel healed and centered...thankful for the experience...

I have had rough experiences where I had a hard time "letting go" and giving in...Those were cake walks compared to the tentacled wonder...If I never see him again it will be ok with me...But I also wouldnt take back those times either.

Namaste
Aetherbound

Dunno what to say, im out of words today..but I like the report! Keep on keep'n on brother!

WHAAAAAAA!!!! Thank you for sharing, gems, as always!

But, may I direct you to my signature: "That which doesn't kill you simply makes you STRANGER."

Welcome home. I am inspired to explore.

Ummm... GULP!! I absolutely understand what you are experiencing here. I've been through it countless times, but honestly have never been able to translate the experience into a verbal description of such clarity! I know the tickle, but never really realized what specifically the sensation was, or even where it was coming from... Beautifully defined brother!

I also find the beginning detail of "Journey 1" to be quite intriguing. Primarily in the fact that (as I read it) it appears that this journey began more as a visionary experience, as opposed to simply a blast into the chaotic and hallucinogenic world of hyperspace. Is that a fair statement?
The reason I find this so personally relevant is that, as of about the last 6 - 10 months or so, I have approximately 1 out of every 10 journeys that are 100% visionary, and almost zero true hyperspace visuals. When I say "visionary" I truly mean "VISIONARY" to a point where I am merely a human, walking (or floating) amongst other humans, in another place and / or possibly time, observing... I dunno, does that make sense to you? In these experiences I am of this earth, and so are the others in my visions. Sometimes it's like I'm watching an old film with no sound track, but the intensity and reality is so great that it all seems 100% genuine until I actually "come back" and realize where I REALLY am. Is that kind of what you're relaying in the beginning of "Journey 1", or am I way off in my interpretation?

Regardless man, amazing report ant! Thanks for sharing! And it wasn't a long read at all btw.

Peace,
-idt

I really like the categorization, mein brother from another mother. That's a pretty accurate sequencing of events for me as well.

But the way you describe your Level 3's is kind of what I've always thought of as simply breaking through. I've been this deep any number of times, but I haven't much more than I have. Where I more often go in recent days is much like your 1's and 2's, but I have this really awful habit of judging my own experiences - and having been very deep, I get frustrated afterwards when I just can't make myself go there. I'm haunted by all that I've seen at this depth and I think about it constantly - but the truth is that when I'm faced with the choice in the moment to reach out and take it, more often than not I will shrink from the challenge and face the self-judgement that follows. That unlanguageable place of timeless union and perpetual annihilation... it both scares the living bejeesus out of me and fascinates me endlessly. My relationship to it is the strangest one I've ever had in my life, hands down.

Regarding the linear, visionary quality - this I just can't relate to. Everything about my experiences are so abstract and seemingly random - there is never a shred of running narrative at any level for me; it's more like the world's been thrown in a blender and spit back out as a rorshach test.

Do you mean that e.g. toothpaste, which I daily use and which has miserably failed to kill me has made me stranger?

Interesting

excellent report as always, brother, great to have you back. This simple level 1,2,3 breakdown is absolutely spot on -

Level 1 journeys are those breakthroughs where we retain some sense of self, able to navigate and maintain a sense of focus.

Level 2 is overwhelming - you cannot navigate anymore - it is coming at you too hard and too fast, but you can endure it and retain a point of self, however tiny.

But level three is the point at which there simply is no 'you' anymore. There is no time. It is eternal oblivion.

There is no level 4.

My last journey was a 3, and it was a life changing event, one that has taken me months to integrate. It will probably be several years before I venture inside again after that one - whoever returned from that journey was not the same as the person who began it.

Much love brother

I’m not sure about this level system. My deepest, most difficult experience left my ego perfectly intact. In fact, one of the primary characteristics of the experience was the clarity. Perfect visual clarity, perfect mental clarity, and a perfectly intact ego.

I’ve had many ego-loss experiences with salvia, and I’ve had a few of those “annihilation” experiences with DMT, so it’s not that I’m unfamiliar with ego loss. But that experience was different in so many ways. I really wish my ego had been annihilated. It would have made the experience much easier to deal with.

I rarely find ego loss to be unpleasant – it’s actually rather soothing. Accepting a new existence is much easier when there are no memories of what has been left behind. Knowing that you won’t be going “back” to your previous life isn’t too hard to take when you don’t know what “back” is.

Anyhow, I just wanted to point out that ego loss is not always a hallmark of an exceptionally deep experience, and sometimes ego loss actually makes a difficult experience a bit less difficult.

i actually agree with you brother. in truth, it was only at the immediate onset that the terror took hold...the entirety of the breakthrough after that point was a completely involuntary surrendering of everything i am/was/knew/know. it was that atom-bomb of obliteration at the beginning of my journey and then the jarring plane-crash re-entry that left me rocked.

coming back from a sojourn of that caliber has proven to be the hardest part for me. both it and the initial blast-off feel very much the same. one rocketting me out, one rocketting me back.

but the cream-filling of that terror oreo is beyond the reach of fear or any other human-born emotion/thought-process. i agree with you completely on that one...

L&G!!

Keep on keeping on antrocles, I don't think a long report exists at the DMT Nexus, wonderful read and thanks for sharing

Makes one wonder if humanity in the state it is now truly has "history" understood. When you were in Ancient Egypt did you see other people once you stepped outside into the courtyard, many other structures, did you hear anyone speaking, so on and so forth?