Ahhh, I feel like Ive talked and talked about this stuff to the point of rediculousness. There have been times where I feel im done..nothing else to say..there are times where I I just sit there hunched over in such nauseated pain dry heaving, thinking that I want to swear the stuff off..this stuff is just NOT for the faint of heart. For everyone else its just going to be like going round after round witha jaguar if you choose to really do any real work with it.

I dont take bufotenine often anymore. I took it very often sometimes every day for many nights in a row while I was really studying the stuff. Now it's more a thing I come to here and there. lately everything has been about smoking DMT..some mushrooms and some ayahuasca..but smoked DMT with harmalas challenges me, destroys me, illuminates me and renews me to a whole new level..DMT and psilocybin are my 2 true lovers, no other substance has yet to make it's way into the erotic orgy that goes on between the 3 of us. I actaully concider psilocybin my first true love..above any in the flesh. What does that say about me?..I dont know??

I want to make this clear to everyone becasue reading posts like this it might sound like bufotenine is something that it isnt. I love bufotenine. I always will. But to me it is best as a healthy addition to my already commited relationship to my 2 lovers, psilocybin and DMT. Bufotenine is more like the old man that you visit here and there in your journey as apprentice, seeker of knowledge..but at the end of the day, it's your lover who is always there..right beside you..a life partner. Old man bufotenine can be harsh..he isnt interested in your erotic adventures or your sketchy-slowly decaying relationship with your best friend..he isnt here to convince you you've been an asshole you'r entire life to everyoneclose to you..he CAN do those things here and there..if you catch him in a forgiving mood..but it becomes increasingly clear there are better classes to attend if thats what you are looking for..Bufotenine has something else in mind..

Often I have layed there on my floor surrounded by a whirlpool of spirits, ears ringing with a piercing sting as my brain attempts to make sense of a frequence of which seems to come from an octave of hyperspace possible a bit farther down the spectrum from us than DMT hyperspace..I will wonder in horror..where is all the love? where is the insight? what the fuck is going on?

These are all things old man bufotenine seems to require you to bring with you. "Be prepared" might be his motto. Bufotenine is a warrior..and he expects you to be one as well. He can show you things that will blow your mind..doesnt mean he will stick around to sooth you're soul once hs finished and he doesnt care about dissolving your ego to make it any easier..he rather you just see this thing consciously..this is the warrior personality of bufotenine..there are no extra luxuries here..it just is what it is..it's raw..it can be painful..so pack you bags well..

..

About 2 weeks ago I drank a medium dose of caapi and mimosa..I lay there for the first hour like usual sort of surfing the edge of the caapi vision dreams that ten to arise at the onset for me..at the one hour point I smoked bufotenine evaporated onto 3x salvia with caapi extract and pure rue alkaloids..I actaully dont remember much about the onset of the experience but a few minutes in I was laying on my bed on my back, deep into a visionay world similar to an amaringo painting..I felt somewhat uncomforable and paranoid, somewhat nauseated from the bufotenine..there was a spinning sensation..unlike ive had before with ayahuasca. It was simiar to a drunken spinning but without the nausea and sickness associated with alcohol..I breathed and relaxed into it..the spinning actaully becasme sort of pleasant once I let it happen and I was carried off into the visionary dimension..I remember just sort of floating through all of these visions set against a black outer space sort of background..but the main vision I remember is that i was floating through this space on my back, looking up at the visions above me..all of a sudden there is ths jaguar there standing over me, looking into my eyes. I was not frightened. I was fully aware it was a vision and felt I could open my eys and st up at any time. The jaguar bagan liking my face and I swear to god I could feel it's tounge on my face as if it was actaully really there. It was a full on visual and tactile hallucination and it felt amazing..

So that was about 2 weeks ago. I decided to take bufotenine again 2 nights ago. I wanted to take some harmalas with it sublingually from a manske I did on rue, to test them out..but I decided to wait for another day to try them alone first and with mimosa. I smoked again a mixture of bufotenine evaporated onto 3x salvia with caapi extract and rue alkaloids from a mankse tek..and I smoke alot of it.

I took 3 really large hits..the first hit I nearly puked whle exhaling I took soo much..somehow I managedto take 2 more largehits and held both for as long as I could. By the time I put he pipe down and lay down with eyes closed there was the typical bufotenine grids..superimposed into the grid was a female entity sort of swimming around inside the grid looking down at me..this is ver very typical of bufotenine. I am never alone when I take bufotenine..these same beings always seem to be there right at the onset..sometimes I have evn been surrounded by young native men looking down at me as if I am laying on the ground near they're feet looking up at them. This never evokes much emotion at all though..it just is what it is..

So Im laying there with this familiar female being simming around inside the grid, and I know that I took alot and it is going to soon get very very deep since the onset seems twice as fast as usual. And deepen it does. It's almost as if the grid lowers itself down righ into my face and simultaniousily I pass through the thing, and my vision begins to spin a bit, and the movement starts. At the same time by body gets real heavy and uncomfortable. Next my body actaully goes numb as if it's under anesthetic. It all happens much much faster than usual and to a much greater extent. My mouth goes numb..I cant feel my teeth. I have to check my pulse to make sure Im still alive, but I can barely feel my hands enough to make out my pulse..heart is still beating strong..fast even..I am ok..

So I accept it and let go..all I can feel of my mouth now is a sort of black hole vortex(hard to explain the feeling) sort of pushing itself inward..maybe the salvia had something to do with that I dunno..Once I really just gve in and let go though it's like I am downloaded into this other dimesnion. I am foating there in it as strange symbols are flashing if full color, very rapidly all around me..By this point the visions and hallucinations are transforing from one to the other so rapidly I can only really acknowledge maybe 10% of them..its all just happening at light speed..as if a download is in process..and that's exactly what it is like..

I get the feeling that all of this is simply still a pre-breakthrough of sorts..when the natives take yopo, they take ALOT at times..and I really mean ALOT..probly 5 times what I took..and I took alot..It will become more apparent later why I really think this is still just the entrance into the true bufotenine hyperspace..

The problem here is the body load..I dont know how safe bufotenine is at doses like this..you really really have to accept it and just trust in the experience to be able to let go of your body in the face of what it feels like your body is going through..at some point though it does seem that the tingling and nausea and all that stuff just give way into an anesthetic like feeling on the body..so in this case thats a plus..

To get to this stage you have to really be committed to smoking alot of it as well despite the side effects at the onset..which are immediate after the first hit..you have to smoke more. This is what seperates the bufotenine trance from bufotenine hyperspace. When you hear people describe bufotenine as watching a movie..not involved in it..thats is the trance..that is a low dose..irreguardless of how visual it is..that is NOT bufotenine hyperspace. Bufotenine hyperspace is like another world..it replaces this one, and you are disembodied..like an OBE..

Ok, so I am sort of floating there, having now given up trying to keep any connection to my psysical form..Iam not egoless however, but it is hard to have a focussed thought..my thoughs are moving so rapidly, as if half dreaming, half lucid..a mind of they're own..and my thoughts almost come to life as visions..As all these symbols and images are flashing infront of my disembodied face, and suddenly its like one symbol appears and SNAP!..it locks into place and I am sucked into it.."wholy crap!" I am now thinking."im still comming up?"..surprised by that time that I can even think..

So this symbol that I am sucked into, it looked ancient..maybe arabic..maybe mayan I dunno I cant explain it..but once I got sucked into it it was like a room..fully 3d. Itis a reddish pink tint..and there was nothing at all sketchy or rough about the aesthetic of the "vision"..I have a hard time even referring to it as a vision. It was more like a vitual reality. It was crystal clear..nothing at all even remotely similar to the lower dose rough bufotenine visuals. This was definatily one of the cleanest and clearest visionary or whatever you wish to call it experiences I have ever had.. Each wall in the room had these symbols, one larg on on each wall..of the same nature as the other symbol..but differnt ones..they were not complex or anyhing like that..sort of just once big blocky symbol in the centre of each wall..and I was still comming up..

So Im facing what I guess is the back wall..and its like the wall behind me feels open to hyperspace, so really there is only 3 walls, a floor and a ceiling..Now I realize im still comming up becasue I start seeing these rapidly transforming symbols and images on the back wall..but in 3d..as if its now projecting holographic images in front of me..and what happened next astonished me..it was sort of trying to suck me into these scenes, but couldnt fully do it..I couldnt interface fully with the images and scenes so they remainded as 3d realistic holograpms..but not actaul envronments I was in..and becasue I couldnt fully intercalate into once of them, they remained in a state of rapid transformation..like possabilities..I was now peaking.

What was so facinating and astonshing about it was that some of them were actaul real life earth type scenes..while others were like other levels of hyperspace..I remember one of them that flashed through mymind for about 2 or 3 seconds was a little girl standing on a street corner beside this telephone pole..there were houses and everything..the details of the sidewalk..the ashfault road...it was muchmore realistic than watching a scene on a television..it was almost like really being there..but only almost since I was not fully sucked into any of these scenes..essentailly I stayed in this room..but somehow I knew that to go into those other places from this one place I had to take more bufotenine..which seems rediculous..but it's possible..it must be concidering how much the natives tend to take..

After a few minutes of that I started to come back down, but continued to hallucinated strongly in my dark room for another good 15 minutes..on the level of a solid mushroom or ayahuasca experience..but without the extreme mental warp and ecstatic feelings of either DMT or psilocybin..I was just sort of left there feelign a bit blown away..

After all the visuals stopped I redosed 2 times over the next hour while sitting at my computer listening to shulman..just light doses though. I actaully did get into a very very ecstatic psilocybinish state while sitting there with mellow closed eye goemetry..weird how bufotenine does that..It is always of a different quality when I redose..I really think that it metabolizes into something else in the body that is more empathic feeling and warm, but the best way to experience that stage of effects is to take a light redose after a heavy peak and go listen to some music..its not quite as nice as DMT and psilocybin though..but it is nice..thats not what this report was about though..

Wow!WOW!! I don' know whether to run full tilt toward, or away from Bufo!! Any plans on going deeper? Great report - a pleasure to read.

JBArk

Yes I do plan on taking larger doses and exploring it..It's hard though I really have to be dedicated to taking that full on dose and ignore the nausea and bodyload at the onset..but I feel like I realy only scratched the surface of the thing..I have this feeling that bufotenine can get really really incredible at very large doses..like the amazonians take..ive read about them snuffing like 10g of seeds!..each batch of bufo changa I make contains 6 grams of seeds and I will use that for like 10 doses...

I had a really beautiful DMT experience yestrday, that was just wonderful and seemed to sort of complete the experience from the night before..filling me with love and ecstacy and light along with alien contact..this is why I say that bufotenine is best as a compliment to your work with DMT and psilocybin..its all about this insane journey into a 3d hyperspace..but its not going to necessarily do the DMT healing thing..not saying it cant though..

I just have this strong feeling that once I pass through into that next level of bufotenine hyperspace, that i will call the bufotenine universe, there will be alot of things there to be shown.

thanks for sharing! I'm dying to start working with bufo. hey whatever happened to calling it cebilcin? lol besides the nausea and bodyload, it sounds like what I'd want most in a psychedelic. *bows*

Holy shit fractal. Wow....

I need to get some cebil seeds and prepare some bufo changa. Get my warrior mode on.

Thanks for sharing this. I always enjoy reading your reports.

"hey whatever happened to calling it cebilcin?"

ha, guess noone was into it..if you cant beat em join em.

which shulman album? do you like "in search of a meaningful moment"? have you also found that it is just like that... a search for a meaningful moment which never arrives? it just tweaks and tweaks and tweaks, but never fulfills. perhaps a metaphor for the psychedelic experience...

(I'm wondering about joebono's "farewell" topic. it will be surely interesting to read that after this one...)

great report btw.

I dont own any shulman albums, just listen online..

I reguards to the "farewell" topic..I could drive myslef ompletely insane trying to distill some type of universal meaning or truth from experiences like that.."truth" is such a subjective designation anyway that I wouldnt even attempt to identify anything from an experience like this as 100% a universal archetype..though I dont think its all personal archetype either..

Im fine with taking it for what it is and not forcing my experience into this box over here or that box over there..I concider that neurosis.

Doesnt mean we can't come back from these experiences with new ideas and concepts, metaphores etc..otherwise this thread wouldnt even be here. I got someuseful insight from my experience..the idea that reality and consciousness are larger than I what I currently understand them to be..that there is a whole other mode of consciosness and or existance out there waiting to still be explored..the nature of such a state doesnt negate that at all, the EXPERIENCE is what is relative..and it's out there waiting to be had. The result in this case is simply more questions..but you dont get to the point of having more questions, or the expansion of a question if the platform you stand on in relation to the questions hasn't been raised.

I like Mckenna's analogy of the fisherman, casting out his nets..he isn't looking for the little fish that can swim right through..or the giant fish that wont even fit back in the boat..

What we want to bring back are the middle sized fish..the funny little metaphores and analogies, ideas etc that we can pull back into this reality and find some application for..perhaps only to raise more quetions, and righty so..a man searching for insight that doesnt imply more questions is like a dog chasing it's own tail.

what about calling it 5-spice? (5-HO..)

I'm very much like joebono, I think... I want to understand. But I also find it fascinating that there may be a limit to my understanding. I know there is a limit, but I don't know where it lies.

I make this error constantly of trying to apply my mental faculties to understand something which cannot be understood with mental tools. I should use something else, but I'm too primitive to do that - I don't even know how those other faculties can be invoked -, therefore I'm *raping* my world with an anal mind. Yes, I'm doing that - and in pain, because in the end it feels like crap, like shitting in the sacred temple, like blasphemy and I feel very bad about that.

I want to get to the point where I understand *clearly* how non-understanding is the only way to go forward, so I can also find that elegance in my ways that you are speaking about (perhaps this thought alone is already rape in action). I want to know the limits. I have this idea that there is this line which separates This from That and if we map the whole area of This then by this investigation we draw a clear boundary between the two. And this boundary will let us indirectly acknowledge the existence of That. And also bring the understanding that That cannot be explored with the same devices that we used to explore This. This may be science, and the above may give a hint how I think science may become a *bad* thing.

Well, your not alone in any of this..all men and women are part of this same strugle towards understanding, it's our birthright.

"I have this idea that there is this line which separates This from That and if we map the whole area of This then by this investigation we draw a clear boundary between the two."

That's useful on one level..but to quote someone from the chat last night "the map is not the territory"..and it never will be. The territory is something we experience..the map is an apporximation we draw after the fact..2 fundamentally different things that will never fully equate to each other.

The map serves it purpose however..and therefore it's completion is a valid prospect..science is not invalidated due to the act of reductionistic evaluation..but science in no way tells a story from the perspective of the gnostic experiencer. It is a story told from the perspective of a second hand witness.

The problem with categorization is not the act of categorization itself..we all categorize. The problem begins when the categories themselves take on a life of they're own and we loose sight of a larger, more relativistic picture..we loose sight of the forest in excahnge for the identification and seperation of the species within that forest..

If you want to find the elegance..stop looking..it's not something you find..it's already there. Elegance requires no ultimatums, no final says or answers to great cosmic questions. It's not about the destination, it's about taking the scenic route. Enjoy the day and accept it for what it is, beautiful.

This brings me to the same dilemma I'm talking about... Sorry I cannot just let go.

My mind believes that *all* of it can be understood. Therefore it strives to understand. And in this, it seems unstoppable, like a death-machine. The only way I can stop it is to somehow lead it to the understanding that there is something which it cannot understand. If it could *really* (and I mean: really) see that this is so, then it could finally go to this loooong-deserved rest and then I could wake up. What a relief it would be!!! But I don't know how to get him to that point.

You see, it's like an evil mechanism, that seemed good at the beginning, but now became a tyrant. And I'm so well versed in its use that I cannot get rid of it, so connected it is with all parts of my life. It feels like a life-support mechanism: if I cut it, I will die. (Familiar stuff, of course - especially to me, who link all those Adyashanti videos - but to get out of that trap is easier said than done.)

How fortunate you are to have the ocean. I always feel it deeply when you are talking about the ocean. I don't have anything like that. I live in the desert that I built for myself.

"The only way I can stop it is to somehow lead it to the understanding that there is something which it cannot understand."

Ahh yeah..understanding that you cant understand..the ultimate understanding ... .. there will always be paradox..

It's not like I have decided to stop thinking..I just sort of rely on causually coasting between modalities..between rational understanding and the irrational phenomenon of paradox..what else can you do?

The mind is like a machine that models reality based on metaphores and archetypes..so in terms of the world that is the mind..you can find understanding..but it;s going to be a metaphorical understanding..which is still an understanding..

Look at it this way..if you entertain the idea of the "holographic paradigm" then on some level everything is analagous to everything else..but on SOME LEVEL..ok..so what changes is complexity as the picture gets bigger..

Now what does that mean in relation to reality and our understanding of it?..well it means that at some level reality itself is analagous to that of the human mind, since in the holographic paradigm the universe is essentially fractaline.In the human mind there is a conscious mind, a sub-conscious mind, and an unconscous mind...the conscious mind deals in the realm of surface based rational thought and reductionist logic..the sub-conscious mind deals in the realm of personal archetypes, metaphores etc..and the unconscious mind is like that deep abyss that is akin to ego death..

Now when we dream we dabble in the realm of the sub-conscious mind..in the realm of the subconscious mind connection are forged between things that in the rational and linear realm on the conscious mind have no such connections and may indeed appear worlds apart. In the subconscious mind a dark rainy storm cloud might be dirrectly associated with your deteriorating relationship with your gf etc..

So what does all this have to do with our exprience of reality and our understanding of the nature of the cosmos?..well since we are entertaining the idea of the "holographic paradigm" we must assume that "as above, so below" does indeed have merit to some degree..so at every level there must be some level of the analogy that hold true..

So then, does reality itself dream?...and if so..what are it's archetypes and what implications do such things possibly hold in relation to our understanding of the nature of reality? Even more perpexing, how do we distinguish between the lucid, awake and conscious mind of reality and the dreaming mind of reality?..

And interestingly..what could such inplications have to say about the nature of syncronicity?..when seeminlgy unrealted events start to line up, forging connections that according to linear rational thought cant possibly be forged?..

Of course this is all grossly oversimplified, due to the fact that at the levels we are talkign about complexity changes the way things appear extensivly within a fractal universe that the analogy wouldn't be quite so easily identifiable, but you get the picture.

These are all questions we cant possibly begin to answer from out perpective..but it's certinly an interesting thought experiment to play with..and Iind the best way to entertain sucha thought experiment is to agree to let oneself fal into the realm of the "lucid dreamer"..or the one who has consciousily awakened to the dream of reality..coasting causually along inbetween both paradigms never forcing oneself to fall directly on side of the fence or the other..you might start to see reality in an entirely different light.

damn that sounds like a crazy intense trip fractal. being sucked into the symbols seems to have been the trippiest part. that is really crazy! all the different symbols that you said were appearing in a lightning fast fashion sound like entry points to different world- like doorways to different dimensions. Perhaps just like these 2d symbols took you into a hyperreal 3d world, the 3d symbols you later encountered were yet another portals into an even more complex and bizarre dimensions..4d?
well whatever it may be, the bufo universe like you call it, seems to have countless complex facets to it.

btw, is it possible that the nauseating chemicals of bufotenine can somehow be isolated and discarded with further experimentation in this field? or are the nauseating side-effects inherent component of the active bufotenine chemical?
Thanks a lot fractal! this was a wonderful read and i enjoyed it very much

ive never purified it to white xtals so I cant say for sure how the side effects really are wth pure bufotenine..id imagine there is still some constriction at least though..Phlux says that he purified bufotenine and did a zinc reduction to convert the oxides back and its much less nauseating that way with almost no side effects unless he takes a real large dose...

Awesome report !! Always pleasure to read your hyperspace encounter..
Thx for sharing.

Quite a pioneer. This adds to the mystique of the legendary bufo-breakthrough. Keep us informed.