MAY I HUMBLY REQUEST YOU READ PART 1 FIRST?

MYCOMYSTERIUM – mY FAVe O WiT (wE ALL It) EEEEE!!

PART 2

My feet are cold. I am happy to have an awareness of my body. But the socks will not go on my feet. I can’t remember how socks work!! What a fabulous, intricate technology! I am forced to abandon my efforts to clothe the feet…

7 :44 almost 3 hours in and I have settled in to a relatively comfortable place. The hell is over, for the most part (it still commands a degree of concentration to keep it so), and I am feeling the first twinges of euphoria as I realize :

Where we look is where it begins. Where we choose to focus our attention is where reality fills in. Because I made it that way! And I made everything, and I made people so I could FEEL and REMEMBER love.

Why are these substances pushing me towards an increasing - no other word for it - megalomania? Why do I feel, no - KNOW that I am GOD? Inventing and projecting reality onto an empty field – a canvas… and where I have not looked, where my palette has not tainted the canvas, is VOID. Until I focus my attention, and it is SO.

My eyes are bristles, bristling with lustre, my mind a brush, sweeping the world; EVERYWHERE I LOOK I CREATE. And where I have not looked is the nothing that resides beyond nothing, reflecting itself and reflecting that which is not itself – that which IS…

My mind, or whatever it is governing these thoughts (if indeed they be thoughts) tells me that I AM because I willed it so. And my son is me. Not a part, but the whole of me from a different angle – a facet of a sparkling jewel. As it turns, it reveals more of itself/myself; a facet, my father; a facet, my girlfriend; my friends, facets all of them, and you dear reader, a glittering facet I have not yet met.

We are holographic bliss; the part is the whole, the hollow the bowl, the bone the ONE, the one the none…

I am slowly realizing that sanity, as defined, is the unwavering faith I had in the things I used to believe. But where does this lead me? Or leave me? Or lose me…

I am thinking of some of you. I don’t know why, but you, Gibran2, are in my thoughts. And you Antrocles. And others : Endlessness, Snozzelberry, Art Van D’lay. Strange that I should think of you all. Grounding? Don’t feel at all grounded! FACETS : You are my face, as i am yours.

It, the universe, me, is so mischievous! I feel its mischief. And drown in it. And learn to breathe water by its decree…

I now understand time as a system of co-ordinates. A map with two directions, the past and future, while the rest of reality comprises X directions. Through some of these directions, these « dimensions » if you like, the co-ordinates of time may be accessed.

I look at the clock. I designate the 7:58 read there as a specific co-ordinate, a time I may access as many times as I wish. If things get rough I replot to 7:58 and use A or B or M or Z dimension to rechoose and alter my path – the path through all possibilities, in this, my favourite reality. A system of co-ordinates to keep me here, in this, my chosen reality.

And so here is a paradox : I conjure a memory of Yvon, my stepfather, walking through the door and finding me in this incoherent state – a great fear of mine. And I know it has happened. And I know I replotted. To 7 :58… and chose another path!! But how do I have a memory of it if it never happened? Because it was only ever a probability, and once it happened, I forced it back into the realm of probability by remapping the co-ordinates. BUT IT REALLY HAPPENED. BUT IT DIDN’T.

I decided to test this new idea. I would have Yvon come through the door. I chose a different path and I started to feel it happen, just the way I remembered it – I SAW HIS HEADLIGHTS COME UP THE DRIVE. And I grew frightened. Frightened by the notion that I made it happen, and more frightened that my theory of co-ordinates was wrong and that I could not undo it. I closed my eyes just as I felt Yvon’s hand on the doorknob. I willed it away and sunk into the co-ordinates and opened my eyes :

7 :58. SEVEN FUCKING FIFTY EIGHT…

I checked the driveway – no car. I looked back at the clock to assure myself that time was indeed advancing – 7 :58, 59. Check. Check. And checkmate. I have created a piece of the REAL. And unmade what I had fashioned from the substance of memory, presence and desire, the three other co-ordinates, points on the scale - otherwise known as past present and future.

::: Unless that entire thought process, and the experiment, took no more than a minute… It may have been contained in the enveloping body of a 60 second time emission. But this is the monkeybrain telling the godmind that what just happened is not possible.

In my favorite reality, Yvon NEVER walks through that door. Or any of the doors I open.

Once all the doors have opened, what remains is me. The maker, the closer and the opener of doors.

Ask not how this is possible, a voice rings my mind, but rather how it is not inevitable.

What did you think? What did you fucking THINK? I mean c’mon - C’MONNNN!!!

!
I am just happy to be here
I am just happy to be
I am just happy
I am just
I am
I
I
Am I
Am I just
Am I just happy
Am I just happy to be
Am I just happy to be here
?

Forgetting is so delicious. It’s how I made I. To forget, to live, to love. The only thing worth remembering is that there are important things. They are important for their obeying of the laws of this, my favourite reality. And that is all that is important. And it IS ok to ask – to use these keys, these mushrooms, to ASK. The importance is discovered in the asking. And the laws are solidified, and made real. The laws provide the co-ordinates so I may return, and forget the returning.

I am so happy to remember the forgetting. I am starting to remember what it is not to remember, as I remember all the importance, the rules, the laws, the myriad details of my favourite reality.

COALESCING. IN CHOICE.

Choice is all there is in the rules of this paradigmatic box within a box.

Paradox,
Box blocks,
Blox bocks,
And blocks in box ‘n
O, Oh - The pair o’ docks!!

There is nothing more profound than this knowledge. I am beginning to contextualize.

Con-text-you-all-lies

The text rendered real. The text. The logos. In the beginning was the word. And from the word the con : All lies, all fabrication, all words, allcon. CONTEXT. THE LIE I MADE AND ALL OF YOU CON_TEXT_YOU_ALL_LIES_ED. Dismantled and remantled.

I am learning new ways to operate the apparatus.

The apparatus. A pair at us. DOO ALL IT EE. The apparatus lives. The apparatus loves.

Thank you, THANK YOU THANK YOU for this monkey skin, and this paradigm with all its crazy shifts.

How exquisite the monkey that shits.
How exquisite the monkey that fucks.
How exquisite the monkey that dies.
How - Ex QUIZZ it.

::: And how beautiful this – 9:20 and I remember how socks operate!

I am returning. Hang up the hat - chapeau, jeune homme - that’s all she wrote. That’s the marvel that is the manual, the operating manual of my mind. Unlimited warantee!!

I feel all the bits of me coming back together – my mouth, my teeth, asshole, toes, follicles – long live the follicular truth!

I am music. I am arithmetic. I am the spiral into you.

There is still interference – a vague noise in my brain. And I know there is only interference where there is communication. Communication interupted, jumbled and jangled, mingled and raveled. Unravel it. Unjumble it and jangle it back. Untie it. Put it to use.

::: IT SERVES AS YOU SERVE.

Already I am back to believing that when I cease to be, there will be a continuing reality of people beyond me. In time. TIME MITE EMIT. But that very belief is why, among all the possible realities, this one is the favourite.

How sweet the forgetting. How delectable the comfort in what was once fear.

I have brought it all back together. AND IT IS WHAT IT IS.


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well phoques, that is part II...

Thanks, again, for reading. And here's the link to part III - the chilling conclusion!


JBArk

That is quite a cool concept. I like it.



...and this line made me laugh. It is nuts how really normal things, like the application of socks on feet, is completely contrary to reason when on psychs.

Thanks jbark. You rock

As usual, a great report. I’m honored and humbled that you’d think of me and our fellow Nexians during your journey. We truly are all one.

Have you ever seen the film “The Nines”? If not, you must see it. If the thoughts and ideas you had during your experience were made into a movie, it would be “The Nines”.

In a very real sense, we do create our reality. Our sensory organs are continuously impacted by a chaos of electromagnetic radiation, thermal energy, molecules floating in the air, vibrations of air molecules, and from this chaos our brain constructs what we call our everyday reality. Our brain creates a plausible model of the world based on this lifelong flood of input. The world we see is literally a creation of the mind.

The “many worlds” interpretation of quantum mechanics suggests that every possible state of the universe exists. What we know as reality is just a path along a branch of an infinitely complex tree. Do our “higher selves” have favorite branches?

I love what you have written here.

You/me/he/she/we/us/them/they...I...are so onto it.

I like this.

Once I imagined what a book about the psychedelic experience would be like and my vision was something similar to this.

As I progress in my imaginary book, there is a point in the story where the medicine really kicks in, dissolving the self-imposed structure of the book. The pages get loose, words begin to stick out from their places, getting into mandala formations, then their glyphs are curling up into a spiral leading me to the center of the book where it all ends and begins again on that perfect empty page.

The Nines meaning the animated movie? I will rent it immediately!! And yes, I also subscribe to the view that we create our own reality - however i am inclined to think that we create it from something real, just not from "everything". Our creation of reality is a selection, first by the limitations of our senses (i.e. the eyes inability to see wavelengths beyond the "visible" spectrum), and then by our subconscious filter, and finally by our memory of the experience, which, as we all know, is entirely unreliable.

oh, and of course, by our need to name the experience, imposing the limitation of the word, albeit one ironically necessary for the understanding of it!!

All I know is that for now, higher or lower, I prefer this reality to all others - I must, for I chose it!!

JBArk

No, not the animated movie. This one: The Nines

Great! I checked out the trailer - how could I have missed this film...?

I am renting it to watch over the weekend (and maybe the animated NINE too.)

JBArk the cinephile

What can I possibly say to this? I'm abrehensive in my underhension.

As per usual, you've constructed a fromblage of truly exsqueezeit proporktions, and I humbly bow to your literary prowess and will to snork the unoofable.

*stands and salutes after bowing*

Thank you for another wonderfully crafted gift, jbark.

:-D

Thanks cellux. Intereting you should bring up the mandala shape with respect to those words-i actually had in mind that the shape delineated a vortex, or a spiral, from the outside, sort of like that image with the two profiled faces circumscribing the form of a vase... It could just as easily be the negative space, if you will, surrounding a mandala- after all, is a mandala not a form of vortex, drawing us inward and onward toward infinity?

Thanks for taking the time. The mushrooms are edified and i am humbled.

JBArk

[quote=Uncle Knucles]

[your] will to snork the unoofable. /quote]

While there is still unoof, i shall snork! Thanks for reading and being the half that completes the writer.

Cheers,
JBArk

jbark, your reports were amazing. Really looking forward to part III! Your writing style reminded me at times of Only Revolutions by Mark Z. Dainelewski, though I liked your story line better

I tend to think of reality as waves or wavelengths. The one we experience is just the one we are tuned into, or on resonance with. But there is a whole spectrum of realities, an analogue infinity. I wonder what interfering waves have to do with all of this... Is reality just the wave of the highest coherence? Or are they all equally as valid?

Much love to all!

omg I just saw 'the nines'... I can't believe this movie even exists... WOW. I don't know what to say. It absolutely reminded me of this account of yours. But I'm still baffled and awestruck, so... yeah... watch it.

cheers

Enoon, thanks for the read. And thanks for the tip - i didn't know mr Danielewski had another novel out - have you read the brilliant "House of Leaves"? only book that ever scared me...

I like your idea of reality as supercoherent interfering waves. I think i'll steal that!

And i am going to rent "nines" tonight. Can't wait to see it after all the hype (on this thread, anyway )

Cheers,
JBArk

So I finally watched "The Nines". WOW!! Definitely a lot in common with my last few trips...


"Best of all possible worlds" = my favourite reality

I likes.

I sent Gibran2 a thank you PM for recommending the movie, and instead of retyping it all I have cut and paste from that correspondence:

"I wanna be an 8 - a tree bound koala who controls the weather!!

Really enjoyed "the nines", and yeah, a lot of content there similar to both MYCOMYSTERIUM & the Lucy dreams of... series. Some inconsistencies or, what I like to call "writer's convenience". Why #'s? Why 9? Why do the numbers appear over peoples' heads? Why do they keep reappearing?Are these like the "keys" I describe in my reports - hints that this reality is not the only one, or is an illusion? Why do the nines start appearing at this point in his history if he has been gone for 4000 years? why are there many "nines"? Is it that he is one of many, and the one that created this universe? And the other Nines have come to get him back?

Anyway, I really enjoyed it and still can't believe this one slipped by me...

Pisses me off a little though - I am working on a script that is REALLY similar to this. Levels of reality and all. Oh well, at least now I have a benchmark to beat!"

If you haven't checked this film out, DO! I think it would be of interest to most on the nexus.

Cheers,

JBArk

PS don't forget to check out PART 3 ::: the conclusion!!