I took a recent leap of faith that was much different than what I expected. First off, SWIM wants you to know that the dose taken was thought to be 60MG, when in reality it turned out to be closer to 100MG. SWIM will NEVER make that mistake again,and he will buy a more reliable scale! With that being said...

Whenever people talk about their dmt trips, they talk about the external visual world. But my experience was quite the opposite, mainly because my eyes were closed during the entire duration. I had the song 'ineffable mysteries' playing loud in my headphones. The reason I initially closed my eyes in the first place was because I was utterly compelled to! it felt almost as if I had no choice in the matter. So I was now in complete darkness.... there were no visuals that I can remember... and their was silence(even though I had music playing loud). All I remember from the entire experience that I physically felt my heart racing...And even though my heart was pounding through my chest, my mind was at complete ease. My breathing was pleasant, deep and calming the entire time... ALL I TRULY remember from the peak was that I focused on my breathing.... and since I was in a state of complete ego-loss, "I" was not in the equation! So I WAS my breathing and nothing else existed at that moment in time. If that makes any sense

Despite being so different than what I had expected, it was such a powerful, life-changing experience. Since then, my mind has been in a complete state of tranquility! No more inner-turmoil. Normally my mind is flooded with anxiety...I feel as if I always need constant stimulation. but this medicine almost cleared me completely of a lifetime of severe anxiety!

I now have an even deeper respect for this chemical than I have ever imagined. Never in my whole life was reality THAT intense... yet I was completely calm. This was only SWIMS second time too, and he felt that much less will be needed for the next time!!

hey Danelmon , welcome , sounds like you had just a taste of whats to come. You have to love that clear state of mind it can bring.

I know that during my first time I concentrated on my breathing too, so much that my whole trip also became about the breathing and I think that kept me grounded and I was unable to really fly. as I recall, my breathing sounded like it would start, then stop, then start , then stop,..which I know it does really, but this was in mid breath, like TIME was stopping, then starting, then stopping, ect ect..

I agree also, eyes closed was a must , no choice there! , BUT BOY did I see visuals. Rainbow colored linear wavy walls of pure love

If you care to hear my advice , I think listening to the music and concentrating so much on breathing I would try to skip next time, go in with a clear head and think of NOTHING, when random thoughts come in, replace them with NOTHING. literally think of nothing.

that seemed to help me reach higher ground.

and also, try the Changa, it makes it MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to get there.

Bring us back some good stories from your next travels

thank you for the reply. Right before I closed my eyes, the visuals did get extremely intense!In an instant, everything looked so surreal, almost like the plants and leaves were plastic. I dont know if this was the reason I closed my eyes in the first place...because it felt as if it was muscle memory, like my subconscious was telling me that the external world was too much to see at that moment in time. My eyelids just got really heavy so I had no choice but to close them. Now I have had NDE, OBE etc. This was different than previous methods... I didnt feel like I was dying, and I didnt feel as if my mind left my body. It felt as if my mind went deeper inward! Kinda hard to explain. Like you said, I felt VERY grounded. and I can comfortably say it tops any previous psychedelic experience... LSD and a HEAVY dose of ketamine comes in a CLOSE 2nd!

The heavy eyelids happened both times I took a dive, maybe it had something to do with the dose.

Two days ago, SWIM took a baby dose of the new batch. He was very surprised that he felt what he did from something as little as 10MG. So he realized that 100MG is not needed. 50-60mg would be a perfect dose for him. SWIM is very excited to make changa, most likely from caapi leaves. SWIM is even more excited to partake in a brew!

never done a brew myself, but yes, the b caapi leaves are a must for the changa , without , its just enhanced leaf.

I think your going about this fine, take your time, take some small steps to get a feel , and once you have some changa , its GO time!

I know what you meen I become very aware of my breathing and find at times I have just stopped breathing and have to purposfully start again which is obviously very grounding.

thank you very much... I didnt want to come off as someone who is going to abuse this privilege. I have always had a strong respect for psychedelics, and take them a couple times a year, if that. Im happy I was able to experience both sides of the spectrum when it comes to dose though. and I have the rest of my life to see everythying in-between

What was odd was that I didnt have to consciously think about breathing, it was still automatic... But this deep, calm breathing is new to me in a sense! and two weeks later I am still using this deep breathing pattern most of the time, and without even having to consciously think about it!

I am not kidding when I say this life-long anxiety has almost deminished