Great thread also nice video fractal, just watched.

Lots of talk about sex and drugs, so here's a minute on celibacy and drugs (I know, I know:roll

I tried a little over a month of celibacy during my honeymoon with spice. There were a few times that I felt it increase and balance my sexual energy, so I focused on working with it in this regard for a period of time. It was a long and educational transformation that led me to my current understanding of my sexual nature and how that may have influenced my past decisions and behavior. It was also difficult because my sex drive did not necessarily diminish. Instead it varied greatly in many ways: some days I was mojo-incarnate, some I was about as driven as a tree with legs. It was not a predictable cycle either.

In the interest of contributing to the body of knowledge... guys usually have automatic nocturnal emissions after some time. These events are often accompanied by dreams, and during this month of celibacy the content of said dreams changed drastically. They were basically an uncountable number of morphing physical bodies of humans which were folding inside out through their various orifices, into/around/merging/splitting from one another and myself. I was not always present. Strictly biological and physical, extremely trippy. Obviously normal physical laws did not apply because everyone involved was just fine with what was going on. Their faces had strange emotions without depth, as though they were only feeling precisely what was physically viewable and aware of the base pleasure of the body and circumstance. To think I "understood" so much before...

There were natural dreams that were similarly intensified/strange which involved dimensional jumping with higher beings etc. but that's not pertinent.

I have drawn various conclusions from the experiences during that month in hyperspace, dreamspace, and real life. After much reviewing I still hold them valid and consider this one of the larger impacts spice has had on my day to day life.

I think the desire to have childeren and how this relates to how women experience sex or look at relationships is something man will probably never fully understand.

I think you have to be fair in the sense that despite feminism and all the emancipation movements that have been going on for the past few decades, heterosexual relationships are still essentially unequal relationships and probably always will be. And even that sexual desire within heterosexual relationships is essentially a longing for this sense of inequality.

The fact that man don't get pregnant and women do has deep psychological consequences as well, besides physical ones.

One of these consequences for instance is, that while for many men a relationship with a woman is a fullfilment of a desire in itself, for women the relationship most often has to be a basis for a family. The concept of what 'relationship' is supposed to mean is very often different for men and women.
It is a known fact for instance, that fathers often feel some jealousy towards their childeren, because of the attention that they will get from their mother.

Well to me the whole sex thing seems a funny thing. I see a lot of women claim they want a certain type of guy, and then sleep with some nobody as soon as they meet him. The conclusion I draw is that people do not even understand their own emotions... and they feel guilty about them. Even if women on the whole treat sex only for procreation in mind, there are still a lot of women out there who are having sex just because it feels good, is good, and is healthy and good exercise. Just a reminder, you can have that kind of sex just for the sex of it, because sex is good just by itself. As I see it, the very expectation that sex is ALWAYS supposed to have some higher purpose is the very cause of all the broken hearts out there. The problem I see with waiting for "the one" is that very soon, NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH. Can anyone here measure up to the fantasy that Minx gave? Just enjoy sex, that's my message. You don't have to. If people want to be celibate and keep the frustration mixed with the special meaning that only celibacy can give, they can keep that. ..... but you don't have to.

I'm mostly being hilarious and exaggerating, but I think complimentary (not necessarily identical, even!) value systems are important in a relationship, and self-harm is the biggest turnoff to me...

I'm not saying that I can't have sex just for the sake of it, BUT, I'm also saying, that my biology, at this point in my life, is playing a huge role in determining what is sexy. I have my crushes (they're all taken, but it's nice to know they exist and they're not actually just fantasy ), and the common thread between them is that they are all HEALTHY, mentally, physically, spiritually; while that kind of well-being is definitely a charm to be around, it makes sense that there's also a huge biological preference for that, as well. I think it's interesting that when I used to be unhealthy, in the past, in all of those ways, my attitude toward sex was compulsive, and I accepted the same kind of negativity I allowed for myself, which resulted in relationships with two very disordered people.

Ultimately, the only "self-mirroring" I'm looking for is self-respect... Sex as an escape or a coping mechanism, sex used to fill emotional voids is NOT healthy, even if it feels good and is good exercise.

Edit: As a person fully enmeshed in the Nexian lifestyle, complimentary value systems are kind of important. No?

I agree with this.
sexual escapism, sex solely for the sake of sex, would for most adults actually mean a form of deep self-betrayal (for teen-agers it's often a different thing, since curiousity is a very important aspect of the teen-age mindset).

I do think though, that you have to acknowledge that the fundamental inequality in sexual relationships and self-respect do not rule-out eachother. In the sexual fantasy's you describe, men are always quite powerfull and in a hidden way somewhat dominant, while at the same time subservient. These fantasised 'relationships' with the man of your dreams are not completely psychologically symmetrical, therefore.

I don't know what hat means. Maybe it is part of the spiritual chalenge that relationships are, to be trying to bridge that gap.

At the end, ALL sexuality is a manifestation of love (you could see S.M.-relationships for instance, as a very crippled manifestation of love, i think) and all love is about pure enlightenment and redemption.
Therefore love and sexuality requires from us that we show courage and eventually manage to step out of our shadows.

I have always had a very base instinctive view on sex up until the last year and a half.

I mean to say that it began with a stimuli, then ran it's course through thoughts, arousal, sex or msaturbation, to orgasm.

I learnt that seeing, especially HEARING someone aroused and feeling pleasure REALLY gets me more turned on than "just having sex and getting my rocks off" as you put it, but it had always been pretty mechanical.

I guess this is because I have always had certain hang ups, and after having a intense LSA (HBWR) trip - admitting to myself I am bisexual - loosening up even more, to the point where now I am open with myself and other completely about anything sexual...whereas before I had my guilty pleasures, where I would feel shame.

I still have tinges of that, but I know it will pass as I go further down the road into embracing my inner nature.

Only when I knew real heartbreak for the first time, and had over a year of abstinence, did I begin to view sex as anything spiritual, and not just animalistic - so when I fell in love again, I learnt more about prolonging sex without the use of cannabis, with the woman I loved and we made sex both animalistic and also about truly learning and enjoying each others bodies - we opened up more doors, we shared our inner light and our inner demons.

After this relationship ended through other hangups of mine, I started reading more about buddhism, and then started doing yoga last year - and learnt more about sexual energies and "release" of these energies instead of cultivating them and recirculating this life force.

Right now, DMT has not affected my sex life or how I view sex(yet, not saying it won't), but psychedelics certainly have - LSA showed me graphic images of hermaphrodites kaleidoskoping through my CEVs; 2C-E showed me how just how ashamed I was about certain urges and views I have towards sex through conditioning - things that needed changing, through positive thinking; LSD showed me I am definitely more into women than I am into men; and 4-AcO-DMT has reminded me that sexual urges are sooo natural - like the air we breathe; the plants and trees that help us breathe who dance & sing in sunlight if they're not thirsty; and like the earth we dance or lay on - the pure animalistic sexual urges untainted by conditioned thoughts.

However DMT did remind me the other day that I like men AS WELL AS women - when I was in the presence of shiva, who transformed into someone who I believe is Ishtar(if I encounter again I'll ask ), then transforming into Aphrodite - so I'm thinking maybe I need to open those doors properly, and explore a bit further finally.

Great thread by the way!!