I don’t know where to begin.

It was 3 months ago, almost to the day ( 2/28 ), that I had the most profound and difficult DMT experience of my life. It was unlike any other, and until last night, it was a singularly unique experience. But last night changed that.

First Launch

My frequency of use has dropped significantly since that last “big one”, and I’ve been reluctant to have deep breakthroughs. But last night I got the call, and at about 7:30pm started things off with 10mg sublingual Caapi Copy (it doesn’t take much for me). I loaded about 26mg spice in my GVG, and at 8:15pm I took it all in one hit. Oddly, I didn’t break through. Or if I did, it was just barely. But it was a constructive and introspective experience. One message I got was that “hyperspace” is there for us in a supportive and nurturing way. Even our most difficult experiences are “given” to us so that we might grow.

Although the experience was nice, it left me wanting more, so I decided that I’d take another 26mg later in the evening. Before I get to that, a few short digressions:

Damn That GVG!

Before I get into the 2nd launch, there are a few things I need to mention. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it a hundred times by now (as have others) that the GVG is an incredibly effective vaporizing device. One might say brutally effective, or even mercilessly effective.

I use a disc of metal mesh to hold the spice, and this also has another effect. As the chamber of the GVG heats, the mesh keeps pace and heats fairly evenly. At a certain point, all parts of the mesh reach vaporization temperature simultaneously, and the spice vaporizes all at once.

So a perfect hit would consist of maybe 5 seconds or so of getting the chamber up to temperature, during which very little spice is vaporized, and then a huge billow of hot vapor that is inhaled in about one second, followed by a few more seconds to get any remnants. In a perfect hit, I bet that 90% of the spice is inhaled in under one second. Last night, I got a perfect hit.

In the past I’ve casually mentioned that rapidly inhaling a dose of spice, even a small dose, has a very different effect than slower inhalation, multiple hits, etc. Now I’ll state it more emphatically: Rapid inhalation of a dose of DMT produces a qualitatively different type of DMT experience. I’m not recommending or endorsing this rapid inhalation approach. It can produce very difficult experiences, to say the least.

Reality

DMT novices often seem concerned, even preoccupied, with “breakthrough”. They ask questions like, “Did I break through?” or “How will I know when I break through?”, and more experienced users usually respond with “When you break through, you’ll know it.”

And that’s the nature of breaking through – once it happens, you KNOW IT. After your first deep breakthrough, you don’t THINK you broke through, you don’t BELIEVE you broke through, you KNOW you broke through. The experience itself is evidence enough.

Now on to reality. There’s always talk about what’s real on this forum. Constant chattering back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes it’s interesting, but it gets tiring. People ask questions like “Are entities real?” or “Is hyperspace real?” And then there’s endless, sometimes heated debate.

What I suggest is that understanding the reality of DMT experiences is like understanding breakthroughs: once you experience a “reality-confirming” DMT experience, you KNOW it’s real. You don’t THINK it’s real, you don’t BELIEVE it’s real, you KNOW it’s real. People doubt until they have experiences themselves. The only reason that there’s any debate at all regarding the reality of DMT experiences is because many people have yet to have a “reality-confirming” DMT experience. When you have it, you’ll KNOW it’s real. I had such an experience last night:

Second Launch

Although I was anxious before my first launch, I was now calm. I held thoughts of love in my mind, and then I began. As I wrote earlier, it was a “perfect” hit. For the first few seconds there wasn’t any vapor, and then – gulp – one huge cloud. I continued for a few more seconds, but was already feeling it. It was very strong – it was “oh no, what did I do?” strong. I laid down and was quickly taken away. For the second time, what I experienced was unlike any other journey.

My mind was perfectly clear and my ego was perfectly intact. The clarity of mind and clarity of experience was no different than everyday reality. I was also fully in my body. I can’t stress enough the clarity and intactness of ego. I was there. Fully, completely immersed in this other place, and it was all as clear as any experience in “ordinary” reality.

But I wasn’t in my bedroom any more. I was in a brightly lit room, and very quickly I realized that I was being shown something. I felt the presence of entities, but I don’t remember seeing them. They were emotionless. Not good, not evil. There was a mechanical quality about them. They wanted to show me something. I’m still not sure what it was, but my interpretation was that they were trying to show me how our reality is “constructed”. There is another reality “behind” ours, and they began to show it to me by “deconstructing” my reality. What I saw… Hmm… I’m looking for the right words: What I saw frightened me? What I saw horrified me? Shocked me? Maybe shocked fits best, but what I was feeling is something I’ve never felt before.

I was not prepared to see how things worked. My illusions about reality were shattered. And I was still fully “me”, so I didn’t have the security blanket that ego-loss often provides. As I was witnessing these things, I thought “Having seen what I’ve seen, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to return without going completely insane.” There were moments where I was convinced that I had gone too far, and that I wouldn’t be going back.

At one point I felt like I had breached the boundary between our everyday reality and the reality I was in. I felt that there was no going back because there was nothing to go back to – reality had been consumed.

After an indeterminately long period of time, as the effects were already waning, I realized that I often forget many of the details of my DMT experiences (at this point they were all horribly still in mind). This thought was my salvation, and gradually what I saw faded into the background. I was never more grateful for forgetting. Thank God for forgetfulness!

Coming Back

As the trip was fading and sense of my body was restored, I wanted to open my eyes, just to make sure that I was back. I hesitated – I was afraid to open my eyes because I thought I might still be in the “other” reality. Eventually I gathered the courage and took a peek, and realized, with great relief, that I was back. It had been about 15 minutes.

Oddly enough, I didn’t feel any residual fear or terror or trauma. I felt very calm and, other than the relief at making it back, felt emotionally flat. I felt like I had been through some sort of “cosmic electroshock therapy”. I had a mild headache, which is unusual.

Thoughts

I never felt a malicious or evil intent with respect to what I was shown, but there was most definitely a cold indifference. But I also feel that I was shown these things for a reason. I don’t know.

Here’s what I’ve concluded: There is knowledge that we, as living human beings, are not prepared to know. There are things we can’t handle. Had I remembered all that I had seen in it’s full beautiful horrible detail, I’m certain that I’d have been shipped off to the psych ward first thing this morning.

I’ve never been so happy to forget.

Most of that sounds so familiar. Not the room, or the clarity, which is definitely unique, but the CERTAINTY. And the sense that the knowledge was unfathomable... You read my acid trip reports (PART 1) - very similar sensations, but without being actually transported...

What are we doing to ourselves, Gibran2? Is it worth the knowledge? particularly if we are required to forget the vast majority?

Incidentally, I ALWAYS take everything in one gigantic vapor-gulp - maybe this explains my predominantly difficult experiences... I will try the two or three hit method next time (whenever that may be...).

Thanks for sharing that. I always enjoy your insights.

JBArk

Nice report Gibran2, thanks for sharing your experience.

I concur-blitzing your dose in one as opposed to multiple tokes does certainly propel one into the more extreme realms-and this is not to make light of multiple inhalations.

The more vicious forays often leave me with no concrete abiding memories-I regard this as a physiological in-built mechanism for limiting the memory-imprint of something so utterly profound and alien to our usual day to day experiences.

That THH stuff sounds mighty interesting as a chaser for the spice

Awesome stuff, awesome. I once also had a similar experience. At the peak, I knew something that was impossible, and it felt that it is copmletely impossible to live in the world with such knowledge, it just can't be done, it's contraindicated. But during the trip I was comforted with the message, "don't worry.... you'll get your life back because you're going to forget what you know. That is how you'll be able to go back to your regular life, only if you forget." And to get back to the earth I felt I had to will the universe back in to existence, forefully remember the laws of this world, and by remembering the laws of this world, it immediately forces a forgetting of the incomprehensible world.

By this point, I just say to all that... "I guess life isn't what I thought it was". There are things beyond comprehension. and things that cannot be known as long as you're in this reality. The nature of this reality is to have a body and have limitation. That's what embodiment is.

The clarity and complete preservation of ego were actually hard to deal with. To be so fully “there” makes it very easy to believe that there’s no return to “here”.


I am finding it harder and harder to answer those questions, yet I’m drawn just as strongly to the “exploration”. As I recently wrote in another thread, I don’t use DMT to get answers, I use it to participate in the mystery.

Also, I don’t forget the vast majority of these experiences. The forgetting is very selective, similar to this:

Yes, that’s it exactly. There are things we can’t handle, so they are left behind. There are also things we aren’t permitted to bring back, so this “sacred knowledge” must also stay behind.

I like this idea.

In the rare instances that I am able to comprehend any aspect of the trip, it is always while still in hyperspace. And even then, anything learned can be easily forgotten upon the return. Never has understanding come to me after returning. The reasoning of this reality is entirely incompatible.

Wow very interesting experience i believe what you experienced is somehow the essence of the what this is all about.

It scares the hell out of me because i know the feeling so well.

In some way we are not ready or prepared for whatever it is that we are witness to. It so beyond everything known.

this has been the essence of my conundrum . how the hell do you keep it togethor in there? I don't think its possible right now.

It does not have the qualities of a dream, I think it would be easier to take if this was the case.

it seems to be the immediateness of the experience. The feeling of whatever is happening is happening live, in real time in the moment.

this coldness you mentioned i have felt as well.
The message always feels like this place just is. Its another day in alien hyperspace thanks for stoppin by .. how do you like it? yeah pretty fucked up right? well it will be over soon....

so many questions . no answers yet

gibran2 what is your best guess right now fresh in your mind as too what is going on in there?


congratulations by the way on your experience.

I know your experienced, but regrounding in this reality always helps me to settle back in to this reality.

its not bad here afterall...

First, thanks to everyone for the replies.

You referred to the “immediateness” of the experience, and I think this is the most troubling aspect of it. Those who haven’t yet had a “reality-confirming” experience have no idea. There is another place – another reality – beyond the one we occupy. Now maybe ours is just a part of a larger reality, but still – there’s so much out there.

I consider myself to be a scientifically-minded rational person, and I didn’t seek out DMT so I could communicate with aliens or any other such nonsense. But having experienced a deeper part of what DMT has to offer (and I don’t think there’s a limit to its depths), it is undeniably real and undeniably alien.

I truly have no idea what is going on in there, and I don’t know why I keep going back, especially after experiences like this. (At one point in the experience, after it became clear that I’d be returning to “here”, I told myself “I’m NEVER going to use DMT again”. Now that I’m back, I’m sure I’ll return.)

I did get the impression that “they” were trying to show me something – to demonstrate something. It seemed to be a “technology” of some sort, but not in any way that we understand the term. I was shown how reality could be dismantled, and although I can’t remember the details (thankfully) the process and the results were just awful. I think the most awful part of the “dismantling” was the power of it and the coldness of it. I was also shocked by what I was shown – something about the nature of reality that took me by complete surprise. It was something that I would have never imagined, and gladly have now forgotten.

“Here” is good. “Here” is home, at least for now.

Gibran, this reminds me exactly of my first real breakthrough. I had about 8 beings reconstruct my reality piece by piece! Reading your experience was very rewarding as now I know that other people have experienced that same thing before (I've never quite had a trip like that again).

I was thinking about the 'problem' about this reality a lot recently. Especially after watching the movie 'Shutter Island'. I had to ask myself what do I regularly delude myself about? I can never know any of this for sure, but it does seem to me like this reality is probably more of a delusion than some of the subtle realities we experience on DMT. In Hinduism, reality as we know it is named Maya - the great illusion. I was thinking to myself that perhaps I should stop using the term consensus reality and maybe start using consensus delusion instead, lol. Shut down the saratonin part of the brain (or at least block the receptors like you do when using molecules that're shaped like saratonin - aka psychedelics) and the more subtle realities (and quite possibly 'more real' realities) open up before you.

Great post! Look forward to developments in this thread =)

Oh, is that what people are talking about when they refer to entities or elves? In that case, I have experienced an "elf".... although I would never call it an elf. I always thought people refer to elves or entities merely referring to the life like creatures they see in (usually lower level) dmt experiences. To me, those were always clearly dream like images, there was little question whether they were "real"..... but the "reality confirming" experience you talk about is something else entirely.

That mother fucker is the alpha and the omega. There is nothing beyond it (it seems). It's not a vision or a "hallucination", it becomes all of reality and you remember it is the only reality you have ever known. In that state, any question you have about reality is absurd. There is only THAT. For me, this is the farthest you can go on dmt, or anywhere. There is no going further because there is nothing else, and you can see that when you're there.

That thing is so powerful, yet so subtle and easy to forget. I've obviously "forgotten" it because I'm here typing this. I wouldn't be able to do this if I was in that hyper reality, I only have a vague sense of that all powerful thing. I actually sort of forgot about that guy after my first big dose trip. Then in my second trip, I went back to his realm, and I was like, "oh shit!! why the fuck did I come back here?" and he was like, "yeah, bitch, remember me, dumbass? What do you think you're doing coming back so soon? How could you have forgotten already?" The message I get from "God" is IT is all there is and ever was, and ever will be. Everything that has ever happened has transpired according to ITS design. My whole life from start to finish is IT, and everything I experience is only something that it allows me to see. And then you go back to that realm and remember your true nature, and you're like....... "oh my God..... I remember.... that's who I am??? THAT!? THAT?!??!?!!!! That cold mechanical alien mother fucker? That's God? That's me? I don't want that. That's hell!.... but it's going to last forever, and there is no escape, ever." And seemingly the only reason I am here is for it to experience embodiment and the limitation of being finite..... it wants to experience all levels of existence.

The encounter with that entity destroys everything you can possibly think you know. Then back here in the "real world" people ask if the alien entities are real or not.... but when you're there, it's not just real, it's ALL THAT IS. And here I was studying enlightenment teachers, who talk about a void and your true nature being no identity, an emptiness. Then I encounter this all powerful thing and it throws all that void talk down the toilet, and I'm like, "oh my God... the enlightened teachers were bullshitting me the whole time!". This ain't no void, this is right in your face all poewrful superintellegence. It does seem like an alien, it does seem like an entity. But the teachers weren't necessarily bullshitting... there's just no words to describe what I speak of.

I believe the thing I am talking about is the same thing that Gibran is talking about, and the same thing that skinwalker is talking about in this dmt hell thread https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=13420 and I believe it's the same thing that this woman encountered in her "cosmic diamond cat" experience http://www.lycaeum.org/l.../docs/8464.shtml?ID=8464

But..... there's nothing I can do about it as long as I'm here in this state of reality. Whether I believe in that entity or not, the truths of this reality will still be the same. That superintelliegence seems to give me the same message that guys like Adyashanti are giving.... that is.... you are not in control of the universe, or what arises in you life. Just accept what is. And that all powerful alien is just another thing to accept and have understanding for. The experience of that all powerful alien just confirms the idea that I have absolutely no idea what is going on in this universe, and I will never know, and I have no control over any of it. It is so utterly mysterious, and the only power it seems I have is to either accept what I experience, or not... so I better just go with the flow.

Just when I thought I had things figured out with the void, and "the watcher", or whatever, I come across Mr. Fractal Alien Super God and find it's playing me like a puppet. Suddenly, regular boring unenlightened life seemed like such a gift compared to this hell that was my true nature. That's why in my first trip I broke down crying for my mother, and wanted regular life back, and I prayed to forget everything I knew. I also threw away my dmt after my encounter with this "entity" because it was like all of reality was a joke, why the hell would I take dmt again? Might as well go back to my regular life and appreciate the fuck out of it while it lasts, because death might be a nightmare. However, once you get back to regular life, you integrate, and realize that encountering that all powerful thing was just your next step. You've just discovered a whole new world to explore, you don't want to avoid it and be afraid of it forever. It doesn't have to be a scary thing... it's just the next thing in this utterly mysterious adventurous life. And oh yes, I still appreciate the fuck out of my regular life too. But there are many adventures to be had in this life, and more to explore than I ever thought.

Wow, exactly how I felt, when I had my last major breakthrough 25 days ago. At first, I thought I would never go back, there is nothing more to break trough. At least, I needed a very good reason to go back there. Otherwise that 'Alpha and Omega-being' will send me straight to hell for the duration of the trip

Now I have a good reason - I want to ask/talk about Bashar, Grey aliens, Essassani, Pleiadians and channeling. Because from what I understood the last time, there are no aliens and I got as far as possible. But now I discovered Bashar and I believe him. So, I would like to get some clarifications from that God-creature.

On top of that, I have started fasting since today. I am not eating any meat, fish, milk, alcohol, cookies, fast food, chocolate etc. until next Saturday night in order to purify my body and spirit. Over 3 days, at Saturday night, I am going to journey again.

I hope that this High Consciousness will appreciate the efforts that I am making and wont bitch at me like the last time

Classic.

If God restricted itself down to this earthy reality because he couldn't stand his loneliness and mechanistic nature "up there", then it would be quite fallacious on our part to try to escape this reality, wouldn't it?

I sometimes imagine Him as some kind of love bomb that is at such a high level of energy that it is like the Sun: one formless amalgam of plasma, but not in rest - far from it - but wanting to blow up, so much energy it has. And then it blows up and sends its shards all over the place, crystallizing a reality around it during the process. The energy which was "unmanageable" in the zero point becomes a beautiful tale of good and evil playing out itself around the center. And in that form (as these are just two extreme forms of the same God) it becomes manageable.

You know, it's good that this world here is so slow. That we have time to think thoughts over. To love. If the illusion is necessary to make that possible, then the illusion is a good thing, in my book.

And from here, that mechanistic alien up there becomes loveable also.

It may seem that “nothing is beyond” when you reach a certain point, but I tend to think there is no limit. In another thread I just compared the ultimate truth or ultimate reality to an onion with infinite layers – you can peel away layers and get closer to the center by infinitesimally small degrees, but you’ll never reach the center, even if you’re given eternity to do so.

Yes, perhaps. It seems reality has been shattered so many times, no reason to believe this particular phenomenon wouldn't collapse like all the rest, and reveal something else..... It already has collapsed actually, since I'm not directly experiencing it now, as far as I know. I don't know if I was talking about the same thing you encountered, if it sounds familiar to you or not. Sorry if I assumed.

SWIM has experience the essence of that tool. He was lying on his bed. He felt presence of an entity. It has no visual representation of any kind. It advised SWIM to watch and be still, to be more precise, SWIM was paralyzed. SWIM witnessed how his physical reality, a wardrobe in particular, has been disassembled. The entity was communicating the idea one may put in words like this: "that is how we have constructed your physical world for your soul to experience it and to grow". SWIM felt like still being in his dimension, and the demonstration felt amazing but not frightening.

What you described does sound familiar - no need to apologize. The reason I say there are no limits is because in my experience there have been no limits.

I’ve had deeply spiritual experiences – experiences where I learned what the word “sacred” really means – and I thought I could go no further. Then I had a near-death experience (while it was happening it was actually a post-death experience) and felt I had reached the ultimate. Then I had this most recent experience, where I was so drawn into the obvious beautiful horrific reality of it that I thought there is no way to go further and come back in one piece.

So what’s next? Do I even want to know?

At 0:55 he states that as we get in our vibration high enough, the physical reality start to come unglued, space and time become slippery:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyaRsywy2qM

Which is a good enough explanation for the effects SWIM was been demonstrated.
Sorry for coming up with Bashar again :-)

I prefer to take the one big hit because I get much more out of it. I use a bong but, I find that one lung full held in is sometimes better than two lung fulls held it.
Something about the initial 'weirdness' puts me in a different mind set. If I take my time on a bowl, I end up losing that feeling and having more visuals at once. With the weirdness and body high I end up in an "Alice in Wonderland" type feel to my trip. I have less going on, I can remember more, and it's more fantastical.
I also find myself believing that I've experienced 'it all', but the next time I go at it, I get proven wrong.

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This theme comes up often here. I recently was given the opportunity to not only witness the 'ghost in the machine' but was given the clear choice to pull strings to bring reality to the place I most desired. At first I was told that I had leveled up and that this afforded me a bit more control of this plane of existence I spend 99.99999% of my time in. I felt the offer was shady so refused. After my refusal there was an attempt to erase my memory. I held it as tightly as I could, reiterating the 'facts', as it were. I was successful but then the offer was made again as if it was assumed that the memory wipe was effective. I again refused. This happened seven times and after the last refusal I was shown the darkest side of the spice I've ever witnessed. I cannot describe the dread that filled me. I literally screamed that I was insane over and over again. I was. This went on for an unknown length of time. Eventually, the journey faded and I was left to feel that I indeed am one resilient-minded voyager. Going insane is one thing. Returning to sanity is quite another. One for my books.

The ego must die, at least for a little while.


Namaste,

Espiridion
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You can use a bong for dmt? How do you use it? Does it have water in it?