I "dropped" acid for the first time a week ago. Maybe the summary (one of many...) is that the more of these substances I do (and I don't really do them that often), the more they seem to resemble one another. They are starting to take me to the same place. That is what the parts of this trip report will cover:

I have been typing the trip report and it is LONNNNNGGG. so i have broken it up into a few parts so that if you don't like the first one, you don't have to keep going!! I really want to share this with all of you, but I know how daunting endless script can be.

So here is part 1

To believe what I KNEW on 4 hits of acid last week (my first time) is to believe that I am my own maker. That all I perceive, all that is under the purview of these weak orbs, and all that is contained in this feeble mind, is of my own doing, my own construction, my own fabulation. Or confabulation…

I AM GOD.

No, this is not another messianic foray into a solipsistic megalomania. I am humbled, whether there is truth in what I felt or not. And I sensed, with a depth so ineffable :

That I am you and you are me and I am god and so are we.

So much for the conundrum of solipsism… annihilated with the realization that yes, there is nothing beyond me, but more pertinently :

we are all me and i am all you.

There was a contract of sorts. I « signed » it. And the contents will be revealed in their entirety when I am no longer. But – some substances allow you to intuit it, at least in part. They are keys to your mind and to your overmind and to your over-over mind and to your over-over-over-…

This is what I began to feel then know an hour into the experience. I felt great love and a mild euphoria building in me at first ; then a loss of equilibrium, blue/red fringing and some focusing difficulties – words on the page I was writing floated and morphed. I decided to concentrate on one thing, and wrote it down :

Fundamentally, there is always beauty and humour.

Then spontaneously this came to me :

You are in the driver’s seat, so DRIVE !!!

Then this :

I am learning new ways to breathe,
New paths for air
Careening to new places and novel forms ;

Breathless Beauty Breathed
In
A
Single
Breath.



I then wrote about what I was writing :

The pen swims and bends with tendrils of sound, ripples of colour and harmony coalescing in me.

And I looked at the clock - 3 :14. Now I don’t believe in synchronicity (but I acknowledge all my beliefs are merely that – beliefs… and furthermore that they are all being challenged, attacked from all sides, invaded…). But for about 2 years now (oddly coinciding approximately with the conception of my now 16 month old son), in waves, it seems that everytime I look at the clock (during the day, or rising for a midsleep pee at night) it reads :

3:14

Uncanny. Happens very often. Some periods every day for a week or two, once sometimes twice a day. Then once in a month. Waves.

Random coincidence ? random # ? Pi ? something else ? Synchronicity ?

And now on a hallucinogenic substance, I look up and those three digits stare back… Granted I was looking at the clock every ten minutes or so, but still… It seemed so deeply significant.

I was shivering deep penetrating tremors, alternating hot & cold & hot & cold , seeing alternately red blue red blue red blue… Warring polarities, opposites co-existing. The shivers are electric – Fear & Control & Rapture & Submission & Death & Life ; something or SOME THING was flowing through me.

It was myself.

I flowed through me – I felt the water rushing whereas before I beheld only the river.

I was getting down to the ROOT. The fabric of existence. I was on the cusp of a great revelation. I felt emboldened and humbled, and realized that there is ultimately only one choice we make :

FEAR OR ACCEPTANCE.

It is for us to reconcile the mortal and immortal. If there is meaning, perhaps this is it, the bottom line, the end of the rope, the sense :

Be at one with your life and your death. And make them one, for they are one as all is ONE.

This, on 4 hits of acid, was what appeared crystalline in its truth.

JBArk

stay tuned: more to follow...

LINK TO PART II

more! more! more! It would be helpful if you linked to the next part, which I assume you are planning on doing. Are you having more dreams these days, jbark?

Thanks for the interest jungleheart. I'll post'em as i write 'em! No more dreams, no. not yet anyway! Still trying to understand this last "dream". A strange one. And looongg. At 12 hours I fell asleep, but was still far from baseline. I think that was pretty strong acid I got ahold of...

JBArk

Here is something I composed before during and after (read phonetically):

The Moon is
Wight
And sbynyng
The son rols to the mo-meant
'F the glynyng -
Stars achimera in the well of night
Steep the darc inning soonds
Of heer now hear and then therr
And no how the wiseway
Threw the dynn of the pytt that noes no eind.
From sleip I slyp to wide,
Teer the old dreem doon,
And slyde the awe waknyng to wrist on the knew fyrm place
Where me boones foorm freish sinn az you clazp the
Meat untersyde...
Yam as knew i neaver waz
Too no the thyngs the much rhymes tel
And feel the hites from itch eye fel.

translation from the original:

The moon is
White
And spinning
The sun rolls to the moment
Of the glynning,
Stars a-shimmering in the well of night
Steep the dark inning sounds of here now hear and then there
And know how the wise way
Through the din of the pit that knows no end.
From sleep I slip to wide,
Tear the old dream down,
And slide the awakening to rest on the new, firm place
Where my bones form fresh sin as you clasp the
Meat underside…
I am as i knew I never was
To know the things the much rhymes tell
And feel the heights from which I fell

Don't ask me what it means - the meaning is self-contained!

It just came out like that...

JBArk

Looking forward to part 2.

Wowsers, that's some poetic outpression there, sir. If you're familiar with the first half of PIHKAL, Ms. Shulgin talks about the experience you describe, of union with/being God, as an important and powerful experience to be gifted with. Not everyone who takes acid or other materials has these types of experiences...

Thank you for sharing...I'm looking forward to part 2.

So great to hear this jbark. Your statements regarding the contract resonate with so many of my own journeys, particularly involving LSD. Looking forward to more.

Be cool, be well.

See, now this is why I love this place. There don't seem to be many junior James Joyces over at the Shroomery! Excellent, excellent, excellent work. You're a kredit to the kamoonity.

LSD is a special experience. I've had it many times. We over here on this side of the pond seldom get to partake anymore. Hard to imagine that what was once so prolific and even ubiquitous, has somehow gone the way of the dodo within the United States.

In any case, can't wait for Part III. You are, my friend, a cartographer of the brain in the best and truest sense.

well i MUST be you because i swear as i was reading that i was living it. i have had that journey. i saw exactly what you saw because i was you.

brother, that was absolutely righteous on every dimension. i have been putting out feelers for a little while now trying to find some real acid. Art's right- that stuff was easier to get than cannibis back in the day here in cali.

your account did nothing to quash my recent calling... thank you my dear writer extrordinaire brother!

WITH THE DEEPEST LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

Well antrocles, I must be both of you as you wrote my very thoughts even better than I could (on part II's thread) and also felt like I was living jbark's story, oh me oh my! (pun intended!!)

Lysergify wrote:



I have yet to read that great book! Too many books, not enough time. I am currently reading the self aware universe by amit goswami (sp) (fantastic read! truth - maybe, maybe not...), Terra Nostra by carlos Fuentes (a masterpiece), infinite jest by david foster wallace, the tibetan book of the dead, several books on american BBQ, the frank book by Jim woodring, Alchimie et Mystique (taschen), invisible landscape (by you know who!), Mycelium running by Paul stamets, photoshop artistry, advanced maya texturing and lighting by Lee lanier and the photographer's guide to the digital darkroom by bill kennedy!!!

Never enough time, especially with career and baby and feeble attempts at exercise...

I am going to look at the shulgins' books soon - once i take a few bitesized chunks from that list...!

thanks for the encouragement lysergify - and check out the other parts!!

JBArk

Yeah, the contract element was a big, profound part of the whole experience, as well as the notion that all these substances, all these "entheogens", are neurochemical keys to unlock the contract, to glimpse the shards of truth - and that they all, while manifesting differently, do essentially the same job. And take me to different parts of the same place.

thanks for reading

JBArk

High praise Art!! thank you for taking the time to read. And comment. BTW, don't know if "the pond" reference was aimed at me - you know Canada is attached to the US, right!!??

JBArk

i love pulling your leg...

Awesome stuff. Does this all knowing sensation you had on lsd differ from dmt or 5meo dmt?

I have never tried 5meo, and from what I know of it, I probably never will!! I am certainly not searching it out...

The experience was in some ways similar to DMT, but the major difference is that the LSD allowed me to actually feel it, to feel I "KNEW" it. Whereas DMT is like a baseball bat to the face - its only after the shock subsides that you actually perceive the pain, and are able to comprehend what happened, or in the case of DMT, to intellectualize it.

But as I state in i believe PART II (i invite you to read it!), there seems to be increasing experiential crossover with a number of these substances - salvia, DMT, LSD seem to be taking me to different parts of the same place! Curiously, mushrooms seem not to fit into this crossover paradigm...

cheers,

JBArk

Incredible jbark. I have taken my time to read all three parts of this wonderful trilogy, and all three parts shall benefit; and provide enjoyment from further reading.

Your reports are incredibley well written, and the way you've chosen to articulate your experience is second to none my friend.

I am also fascinated by the piece of writing you composed along with this experience. In it's original; phonetic form, it's almost like old english.

Peace,

Macre.

Thanks so much for reading Macre. Part 4 was just posted. And yeah, I write some poetry in that "old english" style - sort of more phonetic and childlike, but it rings ancient.

Stay tuned for MYCOMYSTERIUM - a trip report about an accidental epic mushroom journey. It will be posted in parts in the coming weeks once I have polished it and written a conclusion.

Very glad to hear it was enjoyed!!

JGBArk