Hey all,

My girlfriend's dog wrote this experience report and asked me to post it for him.
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The other night I loaded a small bowl of 1:1:2 caapi:mulein:spice changa into my bong and set the mood; Turned off my TV, lit some candles and got comfortable. My girlfriend was with me as my sitter. I took the first hit and felt the familiar body load/trippy feeling that I get at the sub-breakthrough level which I have achieved a few times just to gauge the strength of it. On the second hit I went for broke and filled the chamber with smoke. I only cleared half of it and I immediately knew I was gone.


After inhaling the second hit I closed my eyes and let it take me. I saw a splotch of colors in the left side of my vision and all of the sudden I was sucked down into myself with a whoosh and reality itself seemed to evaporate, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I found myself in a brightly lit white room with a clown/jester entity standing to the left of me (I don't remember exactly what he looked like because I was totally disoriented but I got that impression of him). He was trying to show me something and seemed to be saying/communicating You wanted me to show you? I'll show you alright!, I didn't really trust him but wasn't afraid. He then showed me a box which opened like a fucked up jack-in-the-box and something that I can only describe as looking like a multicolored version of the smoke monster from Lost burst out from the box in all directions. It was about this time that I noticed a clicking sound that reminded me of a stun gun and my ears were ringing with a high pitched tone.


After the smoke thing popped out I was almost back to reality and decided to open my eyes. I was still having unbelievable OEVs which in themselves were very cool. They were much like some of the visuals I've gotten from mushrooms but much more intense. I asked my girlfriend to turn on some music to help me ground myself somewhat but when she turned it on it sounded horrible, evil almost, with screeching sounds and no discernible rhythm. It made me
think that it was Janis Joplin's Band in Hell for some reason.


The overall feel of the experience was like being on a circus carousel spinning crazily out of control. But when I came to I felt like I had hit a reset button on my reality, all of the stresses I had built up over the last months seemed to have been released in my trip and I had a completely different outlook on life. It felt like I had been “unplugged” and then plugged back in. I was definitely not let down by this molecule but I won’t be trying it again for a good while. I don’t like clowns.
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He told me he felt extremely strange the whole time and it was very creepy feeling. The room was quiet with no music when he did it and he's thinking he might have messed up there. Are breakthroughs always so disorienting?

I feel your anxiety with the spice in your post, as I am still a relative new comer to this realm as well I know the feeling. What I can say about that is I don't think it will ever completely go away but I know from personal experience my anxiety with the spice has gone down ten fold. The first couple times it literally took me 30 minutes + of sitting there with anxiety to be able to go there.. I have discovered meditation and binaural beats they have really helped me get in a good headspace.

The disorientation you are talking about translates to me as just the utter astonishment, confoundment, coupled with the fact that after the experience it just slips through my fingers as I try to remember it..

The last couple experiences for me I think have been a turning point with the spice everything seems much more clear when I am there and I am able to grab onto a lot more of the experience and am able to kind of lucid dream myself through it, not in the sense that I feel like I am changing it but merely that I am actively focused in the experience. This molecule has changed my life... Unless it is a mire coincidence that many things have changed for me in a short amount of what we perceive as time....

Happy travels....

You have had the classic, textbook dmt experience ... but still, wtf is this all about, eh? Hehehehe. Let me know if you figure it out ;-D

I'd recommend you do a search on clowns on the nexus, very interesting stuff which might shed light on your
dislike of them. I think there was a thread called 'the origin of clowns' a few months ago, very interesting.

The jungian idea is that the jester is the gateway to the irrational, the unconscious, the sublime ... the guardian and the guide. If you don't like clowns, hyperspace is crawling with them, so maybe have a good look at your aversion ...

Safe travels, friend