everything is fine

Im not sure why one cant keep up a realtionship with DMT..seems an odd statement to evenmake. Lots of people have been smoking DMT for like 20 years..there are members here that have been smoking DMT for a long time. I dunno where your getting your information from, but there are entire communities of ayahuasca drinkers that take it weekly their entire lives..some people most certainly can take spice for life. These things are subjective..not objective..so their use should be taken as a subjective phenomenon as well..no everyone is going to relate to it the same way..and this is where objectivity becomes worthless bullshit IMO..one mans trash is another mans treasure.

Kinda have to agree with Fractal on this one.

Our experiences differ for each and every one of us.

Personally I've had 2 very strong trips where I wasn't the same "me" afterwards as I was before. But I'm still working with the Spice.

This molecule is awesomely spectacular...and I'm going to tip-toe my way through paradise.

Radical changes require radical integration...

Hi 88,



Thank you so much for sharing this. It was definitely a Transforming experience. Some which many of the people in the Nexus may search for many years and never find. From your words I have a feeling you were THERE! It is not a issue of breakthroughs, many of us have ascended to that still lofty plateau, but where you were is a different dimension that not many people have access, no matter how many bowls or hundreds of mg are smoked.

You are one of the lucky few.

As a side note, I got "contact high" just by reading your words I wish you all the best. May you integrate fully your experience so that all can learn from you

Some great posts 88.

Sometimes hearing about these kind of reports shatters my confidence in what I have chosen to explore. There really seems to be no limit on the depth of the experience, it is truely humbling. I hope yours turns out to be a strong positive in the weeks to come.

Clouds, your analogy cheered me up

i've re-read your post about ten times now and (not that it truly matters since the experience was had and that is that) i think that the chaliponga had a HUGE hand in your experience.

i've worked a few times now with chali and that 5-Meo is simply more than i personally am able to work with. it is more than i can understand, overstand, surrender to, contribute to or really ANYTHING to. it is just not my medicine....

that being said, it would appear that you well and truly had a structural shift at the atomic level. you were disintegrated...each atom cleaned, reprogrammed, lubed and placed back into it's slot. you are now 88 2.0

i am very much looking forward to reading any and all thoughts you have on this awesome piece of work you just performed. not too many of us have gone that far down the rabbit hole and it serves the community as a whole to read accounts such as yours. you are an intrepid explorer....a cartographer of other dimensional worlds.

lewis and clark ain't got nothing on you my dearest brother...

L&G!!

I thank you for thoughts, 1664; and each of us must find our way, and make our choices and try to understand why it is we are drawn to this path. I discovered tonight that I had set out to start again, and leave my past behind me. But the reality of that experience was something that nothing - nothing - could prepare me for.

So I hope your travels are safe, and positive - but we should never enter into this lightly

namaste

I also agree with fractal, ive seen you say that before vovin, oh no everyone gets to that point and eventually cant do it anymore. Its all subjective it isnt a fact of dmt use!

First thing I thought was the chali definately had something to do with it, like others said.

Can I ask 88 you said you, or what was left of you, became part of this other conciousness that owned you, what was that like? Were there other conciousness's seperate from you that were also owned by this super conciousness? Cheers, hope your well!

I suspect you're right on this, Ant - it was completely different and there was no option to surrender / not surrender ... rather than being a place, it was a state of being.



Yes, that's pretty much how it felt coming back ... that I need to rebuild myself from the remaining lego bricks arranged in piles around my feet

Ant, I massively appreciate your support and input and friendship, big guy - much gratitude, brother and MUCH LOVE!!

Chaliponga has 5-MEO, correct? How much 5-MEO would this work out as in your 85mg bowl 88?

88, I am very to happy you found what you are looking for. Ego death in a single instance is intense and can change a man, but continuing experiences over a long period of time can end whomever the man thought he was. -It takes humility to remember who we are-

Another, side, reason I am posting is because, your avatar is so bloody awesome. Have a link to it in HD?

It was completely alien.

I have had experiences of feeling I am part of a collective consciousness - that I am one of many; and I have felt that the plant spirit is using my body/nervous system/psyche to explore our reality, much as they allow me to explore theirs.

But this was not me becoming part of something else; I was obliterated, the walls breached and the hollow remains of my psyche were being used by something, for something



There seemed to be some kind of conversation happening somewhere: I remember something saying, 'he is ready. This is what he wants' and this seemed to be in response to something else; perhaps something asking if it was a good idea to completely vapourise whatever structure of self I had created over these past 37 years ...

Interesting cheers for the info. Hope your ok, folks do say 5meo can be very creepy. I hope its benefitted you! Good luck!

I can only give a view on what I have seen. From the old DMT World no one has remained that I know of. I have not met anyone that has had break thrus for 20+ years or even 5+ years so from 'my experience' there is a point where people stop. There are always exceptions to every rule I am very surprised at antrocles statement that he has traveled to the other side over 1,000 times but I have read his writings and I don't doubt his words one bit.

Here is my view on this and as with all things it is based on what I have observed and cannot therefore be universal as none of us has seen it all in this field. Those who have undergone what 88 stated in this field usually do not return to the community. They tend to disappear as I did when it happened to me simply because you have a strong need to distance yourself as much as possible from DMT in every way. Thus there are few who make the experience known and most don’t know about it until they experience it. The experience I am speaking of is not a normal DMT breakthrough. It is very very different and very traumatic. It is anhilliation of self which echoes past the normal duration of the trip and affects you after the experience in a very fundamental way. You come to feel that you have lost yourself and that which returned while possessing all the knowledge and experiences that you previously had is not the same consciousness. When this happened to me visual hallucination was not there it was dark and more of emotional a sensation wherein I could hear my very soul screaming in terror as it was being torn to pieces.

In essence it is an anhilliation of ego and it takes a good while to reconstruct a new one so that you can re integrate into society. At first I assumed that I had been the only one to experience this but it has become obvious to me that others have had this experience as well. It's not even a bad DMT trip I have had those this is very very different. Much like a breakthrough it is something that cannot be easily explained.

I have no idea why some have this experience and why some do not. I came to this place after 90ish journeys to the other side some it may take more some less some may never undertake it. However when you return as 88 can attest you’re different and you are broken. It takes time for you to recover and rebuild yourself.

Again I can only state what I have seen and what little others report. So very few have come and made reports of this phenomenon so unless I have missed it there is very little out there to compare.

The chali was in the 10x smoking mix which I had first, rather than the changa. But its impossible for me to say how much would be in it. I smoked a full bowl, so I'd put that at around 200- 300mg of the 10x mix (which wasn't enhanced - simply soaked in IPA)

By itself this had no major psychoactive effects - apart from being quite calming - on its own, no visuals or anything like that.

And the first 85mg journey was pretty 'normal' apart from learning how to fight like an insect by making low buzzing sounds ...

It was on the second bowl of changa (which may have been substantial - I didn't weigh it out) that everything changed dramatically

Peace dear 88 ...I often question why I do what I do and remember the number of times I exclaimed that I am changed forever, and so far it has stayed true, I am changed forever and YES for the better...Everyday I try to be the best person I can and I realize all of my journeys good or bad were necessary for my growth as a human being, a spiritual being...You screwed up as I have done and smoked out of a dosage stacked pipe and had an alien adventure...I have had numerous ALIEN and I dont mean greys or greens, I mean black liquid tentacles licking your heart through your chest and all the while being paralyzed and twisted, gasping for breath like a beached carp...I exclaimed several times out loud"I am being taught a lesson!"...it's funny now but at the moment was , well SO ALIEN...That time and a few others was my fault and I payed the price because,,,,every education costs money...I prefer when my consensus reality changes and I am not transported to such strange dimensions and when I am careful, WEIGH out every intention and imbibe out of a clean device , I am blessed with what we do this for, transcendence, to remember what we really and truly are...Thank you 88 for having the courage to travel along side us and I hope one day you answer the call!

Namaste
Aether

just another brother graduated this happened 4-5 times while i am here... used to it... and congrats friend ...i know how u feel when u said like a stranger to ur own body... i understand u and wish u luck in ur new path...
Love and Light

Ahh the Grouch is amazing! One of the best hip-hop artists in my opinion!

The dreamer understands how you feel, 88!

Go, enjoy life, relish every moment, be good, be happy, walk proud, spread love