"what need have i for this? what need have i for that? i am dancing at the foot of my lord. all is bliss, all is bliss." - shakti w/ john mclaughlin
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so there i was. as i have been so many times before...GVG in hand. inhibited with caapi copy to the point of being physically shaky. knowing in the deepest part of me that the minute a wisp of vapor hits my alveoli i'm going to be long gone from this world. i take in the healing room like a speed reader simply staring at large chunks of page without focussing on any words. i let it all simply absorb into me.
i know all this already. i know this room, this house, this city, this world. i know how it works and how it doesn't work. i know it's agreed-upon rules and limits, but most of all....
i know it's impermanence...
i breathe this in and exhale surrender. i breathe this in and exhale surrender.
you cannot take from me more than i would willingly part withall... it is time. the unzipping and removal of my phsycial suit sounds a lot like a torch lighter. i exhale the mantra "teach"....
i am in a jungle. it is lush beyond words. fecund and radiating a life-force of prismatic, palpable substance. like the air itself was made of rainbowy gold dust.
it is heavenly. i am so deeply here i am not even aware that i have another body/life in any other dimension. this is more real than anything. far more real than the world i am currently typing this from...
i know there is a city. a clearing in this jungle. i know it is very close to where i am. i know it is mayan/egyptian/atlantean in it's architecture...it is radiant and it's very existence fills me with a sense of awe and humility.
i also know that the people who built it are giants.
and with that awareness, i am now standing alongside an enormous, perfect foot. i am not alone.....others are around and the mood is as mystical and profound as the idea of a god itself. there are no 'rituals' being performed, no chanting....there are simply a handful of indigenous-looking, pure souls (of which i feel i am one...yet....not..) and this god standing among us. we are all simply held rapt by the presence of such a profoundly evolved being. it's really quite simple.
it is a man. only...perfect. he is at one moment about 20 feet tall and at another moment 100 feet tall. his countenance is serene and completely beyond the world we are all seeing. like he is truly in another place. all places.
he begins to walk. no looking down to see where his feet are going. straight-forward. divinely lead. i am in love with this being in a way i cannot put in words. i am so humbled and so profoundly grateful to simply be in his presence. thinking about it now, i would say it is precisely how i would be (honestly) if i were to ever meet someone so advanced. we all like to think that we would be filled with questions and praises....but in honesty, as this journey showed me, i would simply be silenced with reverence, humility and awe.
i have to admit...there's a certain peace in that...
his palm has the surface area of a soccer pitch. i know this because i am now standing squarely in the middle of it facing the most beautiful, serence, distant-yet-more-present-than-possible face imagineable. i am lost in the sheer perfection of this being's face. there is no emotion on it and the eyes seem to stare straight through me as if i'm not only there, but somewhere else concurrently...
in truth, my soul knows that i am seen in the deepest way imagineable. i begin to cry with a joy and a love i feel is going to rip me apart. as if the only way i can truly express this love is to be free from this tiny shell i'm trapped in.
and that's when i knew what was about to happen...
a great mouth opens slowly in front of me and i have only enough time to close my eyes and throw my arms out wide before the perfect tone comes forth. in an instant, i am completely disintegrated into that sound. it's the frequency i have been working with for a while now back here in this dimension. 528Hz. the divine tone. it's the sound of infinite expansion. i am a dandylion blown by a child with a wish. i am scattered into all directions at once and the love i am/feel is able to expand infinitely in all directions at the same time.
it was pure rapture. the world's greatest yawn, stretch, orgasm, release and surrender all put together and amplified to an infinite exponent. i know in my heart that this is a taste of what lies beyond....and i am humbled to my core by this revelation.
in this scattered, elemental state i am able to not only perceive this god more clearly....i am able to fly into/through him and BE him! i am a part of everything.....and this is the greatest gift i could ever imagine being given. that is...until i literally witness how i am 'brought back'....
it is as if i have a split-screen vision going on. in one mind i am watching the birth of the cosmos (and understanding it all at the most quantum level). in the other mind, i am watching as the giant being slowly brings his hands together, one atop the other, like a rotated clap.
the cosmos. the atoms and birth of stars. the swirling winds and cosmic resounding waves of energy radiating out like a tide...energizing particles and forming complex geometric structures of conscious potential. DNA....it all makes sense and the immense power of such insight is a light of unfathomable brightness shining between these two enormous hands. the closer they come together, the more concentrated and wonderous the epiphany is....until just before they come together. the energy and infiniteness that has been concentrated at this point is a force every bit as great as the 'big bang' or the birth of a universe. it is the start of all that is....all over again....one more time...
the hands meet and a universe is born. the universe is me.
i am standing on the hand again, staring up at the face of my god. i am not the same. not after this. the face i see is not the same either. it has elements of my face in it now....or...at least....i can clearly see myself in this face now.
gone for nearly an hour. makes me laugh when i try to apply 'this world time' to hyperspace. the absurdity and unrelateability of it is too much!!
for those of you unfamiliar with binaural tones and sound frequency work, i HIGHLY recommend checking out
http://www.sourcevibrations.com/ truly amazing....i cannot recommend the 396Hz and the 528Hz frequencies high enough.
WITH THE DEEPEST LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
"Rise above the illusion of time and you will have tomorrow's
wisdom today."