True reality is far more scarier and overwhelming than death itself
Profound breakthru to hyperspace without the DMT
I had two breakthru's during the night, however, only one launch to hyperspace (and it was completely not planned for).
First, let me start by saying that i'm not a big fan of salvia or star trek. Though, i do have a great deal of respect for salvia, the first time i tried it i had an intense death experience, followed by being pulled into some kind of underworld (described in my introductory post). What happened last night was by
FAR more profound and scarier than that.
Here is how it started:
At around 11pm, three grams of Cambodians were consumed. By 1am, i was hugging the sink while listening to some music at the same time. And then it happened.. somewhere between the bathroom floor, the running sink, the nausea, the music, and the microbs on the sink, i broke through and just.. LET GO. It wasn't exactly an ego death, but it was the most beautifull breakthru. Somehow i related that to the Fight Club's hand and lye scene.
Afterwards, i continued to lie on the bathroom floor while massaging my stomach and listening to music. Of course, having some major revelations while doing it.
Fast forward, 4am. Pretty much to base line, however, eyes still diluted. Wasn't the biggest baddest trip ever but very nice revelations from this one. So wanting to ride the waves out while still in the explorer mode but not really wanting to consume more shrooms. I decide to take some salvia that i've had laying around for over a year. I thought this would be a good time.
Loaded up a bowl, put some psy-trance on, sat back and tried to get ready for it.
What happened next, there are no words to describe it but if there were it would go something like this:
Not just my own world, but the whole universe around started crushig down and pulling on me. I felt like i was half-way out of our universe or inbetween two parallel universes. Whatever it was, i felt like i was outside the bubble. Another way to describe it, is, if i was
Matter than the other side would be
Anti-Matter.
While all that was happening, simultaneously, there was something else happening
I felt like my whole existance was nothing more than some kind of enterntainment experiment inside a computer program. My whole life was designed to fit me in it, including all the people i know, were nothing more than programs and fronts just to accomodate my exsistance. There was a great sence of me not supposed to be realizing that. Onece i did though, the program was trying to fix itself, and there was a sence of some kind of a greater force behind it. Trying to pull reality back in place, but it just wasn't stacking up like it should. Just barely missing it by a fraction. Some kind of error code. Also i felt like i screwed up
big time by stepping outside the code. What are they going to do with me now, that i can see the truth? Are they going to let me be after this? Still the program was trying to fix itself and i really wanted it to because it was truly scary. So close, but it just couldn't line me up with my exsistance. At this time i really started hoping for
death, but no it would've been too easy. All this time there was a huge sence of a much greater force or multiple forces behind all this.
Thinking back on it now, it was like a mix of the Truman Show and the Matrix at the same time.
Trying to crawl to safey on my last pieces of consciousness, i got up and tried to pull myself on the bed. While laying on the bed i still wasn't sure if i was laying on the floor or on top of my sterio.
Having closed my eyes now while laying down i slowly started to accept my inevitable fate. The fear subsided into an overwhelming feeling as i pulled through yet into another kind of space dimention, it was like a space city.
This experience really increased my interest in wanting to launch into DMiTri's hyperspace for the first time :idea: .. to be continued