Is the Traveler even awake right now? Give it some time House. I'm sure you'll get what you want soon enough bro.

And obviosuly, you read my post the wrong way. If you understood, you would have been like, "Right on, thanks Ya."

You know what Ya, I didn't want my posts back.

The moderators came to me and asked me if they could revive them. I told them to do whatever they wanted.

I regret not saying "Hell no"

I've been meditating and sleeping on this the past couple of days and this is the only thing I can think of that will help me move on now that I've quit using entheogens.

I want to delete every post for they are incriminating and I'm sorry if that will cause gaps in your forum, but it's what I am begging you guys to let me do.

Why do you feel used? How are they incriminating? What has gotten you so paranoid?

If you deleted all your posts I would feel used, and so would just about everyone here. You posted of your own free will, its out there, its in the past. Forget about it. It won't help you move on, it is all in the past and as such does not exist anymore.

I have a pet peeve wanting to respond to posts only to find taht the user has deleted their post. I am of the opinion that all post should stay if they have recieved responses. Deletion should only occur in the case of highly inappropiate posts. Regret for ideas you expressed in the past is not a valid reason in my opinion.

I suggest you take a little break, don't visit here for a while. Take long walks, meditate, and try to integrate what you have experienced. It is difficult, it takes time. Give yourself that time.

Your posts are an integral part of this community, as is everyones. It is one vine amongst a jungle, one thread amongst a web, and as such helps create a greater foundation for the whole ecosystem.

Please understand this. Make a tiny sacrifice (1%) to allow me to move on with my life. I want no part of this.

If you can't understand this, then I'm sorry. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.

It is not a bunch of pixelated symbols that keep you from moving on. It is only you.

I meditate. I walk. I have unwillingly integrated hyperspace into my being. What more do you want?
I spent the last couple of days not coming to this site, and I kept thinking about how I wish my posts were gone.
They are a personal attachment to this place, and DMT, that I wish to erase. I do not want my incriminating posts on a public forum any longer.

Thank you house

its to bad your request cannot be met

Saidin, brother. I am really sick and tired of people telling me what to do and how I should be. This is why I've decided to leave. I am not like you guys at all!!!!!
Sure, I may have created this personal attachment I have with every post, but guess what, that's just who I am.
I need to delete what I have done to move on...This is just how I am...I am sorry to have caused any disturbances...I honestly thought I would never stop using DMT or entheogens...but things change, and I will never be looking back...regardless of what you all think.

I think you are exactly like all of us. I have been where you are. I think I can understand where you are at, and know how it turned out for me with time. I think it will for you as well.

It is always the blackest before the dawn. The Dark Night of the Soul.

I've said my peace, offered my opinions where they were not asked for, and will comment no further.

I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.

Namaste

۩ - dude this is the longest goodbye in history. What's going on?

There are a couple of things here that bother me. You seem a smart fella, so surely you must know that when you post something on a public forum, you are publishing it - ie putting it the public domain. And once the smoke is out of the bottle, there's no getting it back in.

Also - the decision to allow you to delete your posts rests entirely with Traveller. This is not 'our' site, though it is indeed our community. It is Traveller's site. Plain and simple. He is under no obligation to grant you this request, but ultimately it is entirely his decision - which surely you must be aware of, so I don't get why you're posting on a thread that you want to remove your posts, when the only thing that would actually bring that about is a PM to Traveller ... I mean, it's not like any of us have a 'vote' on this matter.

I just don't understand why you're filling this thread with - ironically - ever more posts saying you want to get rid of your posts Do you see what I mean?

And I don't understand how you anything you've posted could be incriminating ... I doubt you're called ۩ on your birth certificate! Isn't that what the whole anonymous thing is about?

Sorry, House, I just don't know what you're on about any more. If you feel you need to stop coming to the nexus, then, you know, with the greatest of love and all - stop coming and stop posting!

I hope you can let this go and just move on with your life. I've enjoyed your input here, and I wish you the best of luck whatever it is you do.

.

In my perception of this entire situation I think I understand what house is trying to do. Please correct me if I am wrong as I do not know you personally house and my opinion is based upon limited information. House is attempting to have his posts deleted as this would be a real world erasing of his journey here that currently he finds he cannot bear. I think he wishes to do this so that he can symbolically erase the experiences from his mind.

Before we judge this man or woman I have to say I suffered from this very ailment and it is very hard to deal with. I spent several years out of the loop in the DMT community and spent the first couple trying my absolute best to do exactly what house is trying to do. I wanted to forget. The burden of the experience was so hard I could not see getting through life with them intact in my mind.

For me as I eventually learned the issue was not with DMT but that I had placed such high almost impossible hopes in it giving me what I had sought for 15 years and when even the most powerful drug in existance could not do that for a time my world looked dark and bleak. If house simply did not want to be part of this community he simply would not come back. Instead he is actively here with the goal of having this memory symbolically deleted from his mind.

I think you have some pearls of wisdom that others who read these posts will benefit from house but if it is truly your will for your betterment I would not be against granting that wish. I do not know how difficult it would be for a admin to do this but I would ask them to show a little compassion to a already tormented soul. Just please understand my friend it will not erase from your mind what you have undergone. It is a part of you now and you must live with it. In time you will learn to do so. As the old saying goes time heals all wounds and in my experience this is true. Tighten your belt, clench your teeth and move forward. You have no choice you must adapt and move forward or wither and die. The future holds hope of something better if you do not move forth then the persent will be your way of life, you cannot turn back on the path. As the great Carl Jung once said, "Growth of mind is the widening of the range of consciousness and each step forward is a painful and laborious experience' If you do not give up you will not fail and eventually you will find peace. It took me many years to find mine but in retrospect I am glad I underwent the journey.

Yep, vovin.

I know I can't forget this stuff.

I just wish to do anything I can to erase the trails I have made. I've gone far enough. I would like nothing more than to be erased. I'm sorry this is hard for some of you to understand...but it's really the only thing I can think of.

88. I wish I never posted anything. I don't see how detrimental to this community it would be if my posts were erased. You would be doing me a huge favor.

The only reason I keep coming back to post is because this really bothers me that I'm not allowed to rake the trail that I have stirred.

Please, The Traveler, when you read this, try to understand where I am coming from and just let me do this. You will never have to deal with me ever again.

Deleting all of your posts will make every thread to which you’ve contributed look like Swiss cheese. Do you honestly believe that deleting your posts will help you to put your experiences behind you? It may serve a symbolic purpose, but the memories from which you’re trying to escape will still be there.

Why not work to accept the memories and accept the experiences you’ve had?

There are lots of people here who want to help you and who care about you, and who would help you to come to terms with your experiences if you let them.

I find it disturbing and manipulative you will not grant me this final wish that will help me severely on my path. That's what this community is for, right?
Please recognize what I am trying to do and how it will help me.

You have my wiki tek. I don't see how important all these posts are. It's far more important to me that they disappear. I have woven attachment into this hub that I pray you will let me detangle so I can float away in peace. I've tried just leaving, and my posts remain, therefore a part of me is still here, and I can not deal with that.

I fully accept what I have experienced. I can not accept the attachment I have woven here and wish to god and the Traveler that I may remove my tracks. It's more than symbolic.

When we poke holes in a web, the spider rebuilds....

The site will survive, I say let him have it

Maybe the solution for all parties is to wait a month. If House still feels the same way, then erase. Fair, no? I don't know what you think of this Traveler, but ultimately its (obviously) your call.

Having said this :

While i understand how you feel House, I tend to agree with Saidin. You posted knowing the words were there in perpetuity, so you might have to live with them. The delete function is not there to wipe out your presence, but to erase inflammatory and hurtful and even obscene posts after the fact: as a post mortem self filter.

But I suggest the above solution as a possible truce.

Cheers and good luck with all and ALL house,
JBArk

I can't wait a month. I beg you allow me to detangle the attachment ASAP. The sooner, the better.

Honestly what good will it do for you jbark having my posts here? I see absolutely nothing.

I have ridiculous beliefs and superstitions. I believe in telepathy, even though science can't prove it, because I have experienced it first hand.
I feel like every time someone reads my post, they are focusing on me. This is how I believe consciousness works, even if you don't.
I feel my presence here with every post. Can you fathom that for a second? It's not just symbolic, in my world, it is actually physical.
With every post someone reads, I get focused on. I can't stand it anymore. I want no part of this. I NEED to be erased for the sake of my own peace.
I am sorry to make your forum swiss cheese. You guys will persevere far better without me here to cause a ruckus and taint it with my intensity.
Please try to understand what it's like being in my shoes...thank you...

Legacy, house, yours AND the nexus. And posterity.

I for one, WANT to remember you and what you went through. But I do get your point of view. But understand that 1% is a big chunk. You know as well as anyone that you can't always get what you want OR what you need WHEN you need it. That's why I suggested the month. A concession for all parties.

It's called a negotiation as I am equally sure you are aware.

if I could take back some of the things I have said to people I love.... but i can't. And I live with it. That's what growing is. Convincing yourself you NEED to erase them, IMO, is kinda missing the point.

Respect,
JBArk