That's profound. Was there anything that could have led you into creating that fatalistic message of having chosen your life, or did that come out of the blue? It sounds a bit like reincarnation.

I haven't had an OBE or NDE on DMT, though I have had a full out of body experience on a large quantity of psychedelic mushroom tea combined with a rather strong tab. I can understand why some people would feel this experience is like 'dying', as once you have no contact whatsoever with your physical, corporeal self it is close to a lot of religious/spiritual discourse on the process of death and subsequently leaving your body. If anyone is interested I could post an excerpt from my trip report I typed up on it? =)

By contrast, on DMT so far I have felt /too/ much in contact with my body if that makes sense, the first time I smoked DMT this sensation left me quite nervous and ended up with very sweaty palms. I can't describe it very well, like I could feel vibrations surging through my entire body and like I was locked into it and paralyzed- like I felt all this energy and even slightly like being submerged under water or something but unable to move... Though the times I have smoked DMT since I have felt more at ease with this sensation and it hasn't left me nervous =) Maybe when I have a full blown breakthrough dose though the experience may be closer to the OBE I had on mushrooms/acid.

peace x

Hahahah....sorry but I just had to remark on this one....

It just goes to show you that life really is just shit.


Okay, okay....don't attack me....life is beautiful and grand and amazing and all that but you have to admit that it sounds an awful lot like it started with being flushed down the toilet.

I had a dream when I was 15 or 16 years old. The year was -97 or -98. I hadn´t done any drugs by that age, not even alcohol or cigarettes. This is going to be a bit long...

It was an early summer morning when me, my dad, my friend and his dad were prepared to go fishing to an island where my family has had an apartment. After an hour long ride with a military boat we got on the island and took our stuff to an abandoned apartment in the interior of the island. There was still a small community living and working there but not as many people as I remember when I was living there. After breakfast all others were ready to go fishing to the northern cliffs but I felt really tired for some reason and instead left behind and took an early morning nap (which lasted maybe for 2-3 hours). While I still was awake the feeling of tiredness was very different to normal. It felt like something was "pushing" or "forcing" me to sleep. And what also was different was that when I arrived to the island I was as energetic as I normally am and the tiredness just struck very fast.

I had fallen asleep on a sofa of the apartment´s living room. I had already slept probably for about 2 hours and from that point on I perceived/went through the most beautiful experience of my life so far. I remember a dream which was totally immersive and felt more real and clear than the ordinary waking state is for me (I´m not trying to sound clichéd here). I was on a beach on a beautiful jungle island which actually was a big volcano with caves going underneath it. I was looking at crabs and seashells on the shore. I also was aware that my extended family and closest friends were keeping a camp at the caves just below the steeper slopes of the volcano. The setting was beautiful, cumulus clouds sailing in the sky, clear turquoise water calm as a mirror and the jungle behind me as alive as can be with different animal sounds echoing from deep. The dream wasn´t a so called lucid dream, I was totally immersed in the sense of reality of it and I took the whole setting as being real in a material sense. At some point I noticed a shimmering line in the distant horizon. A shimmering which you could see on some of those optic illusion presentations. I thought this was strange and it made me worried because it felt so alarming that the ocean would act this way. And I knew it was something massive stretching from the left of my field of panoramic view all the way to the other side of the horizon. The shimmering got more intense and I realized it was a wave approaching. I realized the massive size of it and I truly have never felt such divine terror, not while awake nor asleep as then. The wave seemed to be as high as 5 to ten kilometers and my biggest concern was to reach the caves to warn my family and friends and be able to do something. I started running through the jungle feeling great terror and awe at the same time. It wasn´t long until the wave hit the island and me from my behind. I didn´t reach the caves. It was like a bomb went off on my back. I definitely would have woken up by now by the sheer shock but something kept me asleep. The next thing I remember is floating in big crystal clear blue vastness. Somehow all my concerns and fears had vanished and I felt like the Divine blue clarity was hugging my being. I think at some point there was nothing but the blue clarity. I was the blue clarity. I don´t remember this state lasting for long though.. I transformed into a spinnig Sonic the Hedgehog (http://pocketmedia.ign.com/pocket/image/article/745/745123/sonic-the-hedgehog-genesis-20061109052611145_640w.jpg) and fell off the lip of the wave. Note: When I was inside the wave I didn´t perceive a wave, just the clarity. I fell down for some time and penetrated the sea surface and descended deep into the dark blue. After this I awoke.

I woke up laughing of joy with tears in my eyes. I felt like a million bucks for the day and felt better than average for the next few weeks. Without a doubt the most beautiful, empowering and memorable experience for me since (I´ve yet to try dmt). I hope my scribbles can give some insight on the topic. Although it wasn´t an NDE. But it was a profound spiritual experience for me, without a doubt.

Keywords would be terror, awe, divine, vastness, clarity, wellbeing etc.

Holy crap! I honestly just read this! Seems a bit like the clarity part of my strange experience.

Here’s a good paper by Stanislav Grof that relates to the topic: The Experience of Death and Dying.

It’s a long paper, and I haven’t read through it all yet, but here’s a good quote:

Nice find gibran2! I can't wait to dig into this article.

It appears I was mistaken when I first started this thread, and there are certainly more similarities than I originally thought. It's really cool of everyone here to share such intimate experiences! My paradigm of the NDE has certainly been vastly expanded!

Peace,
-idt

Science Attempts To Explain Heaven
http://science.slashdot....pl?sid=10/04/03/2247213

Have a look at this....

http://www.maps.org/news-letters/v20n1/

elphologist

Aparently new light has been shed on the way out...



Carbon dioxide, eh?

There you have it folks.

Read more about it here.

Polytrip that experience rings a bell. In the holographic universe mike talbot sites many many NDE'ers who had experiences that literally sounded just like what you described.