REALITY IS JUST STILL WAVY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GUYS HANDLE THIS....

my plan is to take as big a hit and fit it all in one hit.

everything caves in around me

it happens so suddenly

i want to reach out for anything that makes sense...

i'm crawling, reeling,

i can't make any sense of this....

WHY AM I DOING THIS???

This is something you need to ask yourself.

The trick is to TRY to remain calm and observant ;]

and don't believe you can't make any sense of it...

and the funny thing is, you will probably do it again. Go figure.

having said that, if you've got the message, hang up the phone. Know when to stop, or rest at least. IF you need to integrate or just get solid in this reality, do it. Life is right here, right now.

Safe travels!

It took me a few days to build up my courage, and now I remember why... Oh wait I've forgotten. DAMN!

ROFL

My foreplay with going in can now take days and even weeks. I need to make sure everything is Zen. I have to feel as aligned as possible. I'll plan to go in one night and end up reasoning my way out of it. I write my intentions down, I write down what I have to learn, what I have assimilated and integrated and I write down what I have not yet accomplished but have been taught.

Then I'll pack everything away, do some self study and wait for the next call, which could be the next day. Then I unpack, prepare my floral altar, my crystal skull and quartz wand, I make everything right with the world. I read my intentions from my previous attempt and keep them in mind. Weigh dose, scrub, pray to the oneness, stretch, breath, meditate or even have a little nap to escape the trepidation.

I take my place in the launch-pad. Hold the bong in my hand at which point there is no going back. Now is as bad a time as any to die. Then I blast off. Dying is never easy, in fact it's the most frightening thing we ever have to do. Most only have to do it once, but for us to commune with the most sacred oneness we have to endure a death, each and every time.

The greatest fear to conquer, the greatest earthly sacrifice is made in order to attain the greatest reward.

As soon as I enter the Queendom of hyperspace I am told:

'Everything you've just brought with you, please leave at the door'

And then it's all familiar and I am home. Deep inside the flux capacitor that undulates within the heart of Hyperspace. And I think a breath of relief, why was I afraid... why... wh..y?

Hey Spock! Leave logic behind Hyperspace is beyond logic. Just flow into it and observe. You can ask yourself why you're doing this when you come back

I thoroughly enjoyed this post

No pain no gain brother

Oh, I dunno 'bout that!



Anyway, sounds like Spock took too much in at once.

You might want to try easing yourself in a bit. Sometimes a few low doses before a big blast can be good.
Also I've noticed that even with the best of intensions sometimes there is a threshold where its just too much to handle.
I've pushed myself over the top many times and its really not fun. Its just too much its what i would call an overdose or too much of a good thing.

Try to measure your dose in anyway you can it helps alot..

This is fresh in my mind because the past few days I pushed the envelope real hard.

At one point I lost all sense of myself , I had absolutely no idea for a few minutes who or what I was. This went to my core, no sense of self whatsoever.
There is a deep part of ourselves that finds that very shocking!! its an indescribable level of vulnerabilty and confusion.
Sometimes it feels like a certain group of hyperspace dwellers Like it when your totally lost in there. Anyone else get that sense?

Lose all sense of the self while being hurled through a complex alternate dimensional space. Thats a party!

The one thing I find interesting about the DMT space is that mostly that sense of self remains intact.
Somtimes all bets are off and things can go haywire real bad .

It can truly feel like your fighting for your life !!

I'm hoping to get better used to it all. Bottom line is no matter how hard I get my ass kicked I still keep coming back for more. Its simple really:

. I ***************** LOVE IT !!!!!

I think you've just spoken for a lot of us.
My swim trepidates something awful and makes sure EVRYTHING is just right, but then upon entry he wonders why he was so worried.
Today, he was planning on tonight, but tonight he said, theres always tomrrow!

I am in NO rush to go back. The other night I experienced what is called 'ego dissolution' by some. Completely lost and confused. Did simultaneous inhalations with my g/f. During the ride, I got concerned about what she was doing (I think...) and opened my eyes. Utterly devastating. I thought I was her; I forgot I existed; the boundary of identity dissolved in my mind I guess. She would put her hands on her cheeks and I thought it was me. I think I actually physically did that, I am not sure.


But anyway, yeah, my self-identity completely disappeared. I would touch the couch, or the coffee table, and I was made of tiny little blocks and so was the furniture. One continuous flow of blocks.

I'll never eyeball again, and if I do, I won't err on the side of 'adventure.'