I´ll do that. It might be my setup anyway.

I honestly express my beliefs, and you find them “amusing”?

I believe that there is a deeper sacred immaterial realm that lies beyond the realm of aliens and spaceships and modified DNA, I believe it’s possible that dose affects the depth of experience, I open up and express these beliefs (which I don’t often do), and you respond by laughing?

I’m disappointed.

For my ideas concerning respect, take a look at my response to Question regarding integration.

no disrespect brother, but as you were so at liberty to inform me that i apparently have yet to go deep enough, you sort of played your hand of not knowing me or my work in the slightest. it is difficult for me to make my point without sounding like some puff-chested adolescent bragging about his psychedelic machisimo here...

sufficed to say, i have gone that deep. i go that deep nearly every time i go. what i see is beyond evident and more real to me than anything in this density. that you would, of all things, assume that i have yet to go 'deep enough' truly inspired laughter. it is immensely funny to me!

again, no disrespect intended. merely a burst of bemusement at how little you know me yet how unabashed you seem to be to inform me that i just haven't gone deep enough and how i am apparently disrespecting spice concurrently....i take no offense, but if you would be offended by my mirthful response to your post, please take a moment to consider how your 'honestly expressing your beliefs' could be taken by the one you expressed them to.

don't be disappointed. there are many responses your post could have evoked. anger, incredulousness, hurt, contempt.....i chose to be bemused. you do not know me my brother. i am absolutely open to you and i remedying that. be it on this thread or through PM, you and i can come to a better understanding of one another and you will hopefully come to understand that:

a) i have the most sacred, beautfiul, respectful and precious relationship with DMT imagineable. my home is a veritable shrine to the sacrament. shipibo tapestries are in every room, alters with jars of caapi, mimosa, chacruna, chaliponga, etc...are prayed to daily. i'm over 30,000 words into a book i'm writing on my life with DMT over the past year and a half and how how the molecule has completely changed the scope and direction of it....

b) everything i do and consider has DMT at it's foundation. i even refuse to clean my bicycle with anything other than the leftover d-limonene from extractions because i want traces of it on everything i touch. i feel that DMT IS me and i AM DMT. my work with it and my commitment to help others who are called to it is the passionate focus of my entire life.

though i make no professions of being anything other than a fellow soul on the path, i will, in my own defense, assure you that i have gone quite far down that path. i will continue to go farther and i will share the entire way. if you don't know this much about me, then it is i who is disappointed.

let's you and i find a way to sort this out my brother. the definition of disappointment is more or less 'an expectation that is not met'. i expected you to know something about me. you expected me to respond differently to your post. either way we are both guilty of expecting something from one another. in the spirt of acceptance and compassion, i offer a heartfelt apology if how i responded hurt you in any way.

WITH LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

"If you don’t know, if you don't know absolutely, that your experiences are real and true, then you aren’t going deep enough. There is a level of experience that is self-evidently true and real – no archetypes, no subconscious authoring, etc. When you reach this level, you’ll also see that there is no need to go back daily. In fact, it’s clear to me that daily travel to the deeper realms is disrespectful."

Wow

Are you serious?..well, what planet are YOU from?..so now you think that YOU have the authority to tell OTHERS what they should or shouldnt know?..and how deep they personally need to go to get there?

When was the last time YOU checked your ego there bud?..seems just a little bit inflated there..

It's funny how you can attempt to call others out with such an authoritarian apprach to the subject..something you also dont seem to really have too much of a clue about based on your last statement..seems you just called basically all amazonian ayahuasqueros disrespectful..since so many of them drink daily for years..

seriousily man that all reads like arrogant babbling to me..get over yourself..drop the fucking ghandi trip.

Whens the book out Antrocles? Fucking love you man, your an inspiration! I dont think your an evangelical alien cult worshipper, your just one man relaying his experiences which is great, funny hearing some folks talking about egos, that made me laugh!

Feeling a bit defensive?

I made that post for a couple of reasons. First, I was responding to a particular statement that antrocles made. He stated that:



I found that statement to be unusual coming from someone who has such a deep relationship with DMT as does antrocles, and so I commented on it. He later responded:



Good enough.

Here’s another reason I posted: I’ve always found antrocles’ posts to be informative, entertaining, and inspirational. But some of his more recent posts seem to me to be somewhat arrogant. Maybe they’re not – maybe it’s just my Ghandi complex acting up again, but I find it interesting and disturbing when I get responses like yours. I claim to have experiences that rival the depth of antrocles’ and I’m attacked. Are only a select few of us allowed to claim to have had deep life-changing experiences? I know I touched a nerve – that was partly my intent. But it works both ways – like you, when I read posts that seem egotistical and arrogant, it bothers me.

Regarding daily use and respect/disrespect - Amazonian Ayahuasqueros consume in a totally different context than any of us do (unless you happen to be an Amazonian Ayahuasquero), so to put words into my mouth and say that I’m calling them disrespectful is wrong.

Ehm...

I just wouldn't bother comparing my work with the molecule to anyone else's. First of all it mainly because I know it's far superior, because it's mine

Secondly, it's because what we bring back with our words is so little compared to what was experienced.

Take it all for what it is.

Though I know for sure that Ant has got a good thing going

No not feeling defensive..or have any problem with you having "rivaling" experiences..more just with the general overly assuming tone of your whole post..

Maybe you should jsut relate your experiences with DMT to you..instead of trying to relate it to others..telling them what is or isnt disrespectful..or telling them what is or is not disrespectful for THEM to do based on your own assumptions surrounding the context of which we practice this stuff within.

Just becasue something might be disrespectful for you to do doesnt mean it is for another..if you feel that its disrespectful for you than fine..but to tell another that it is for them as well is very arrogant..

It starts to sound like religous dogma to me when I hear that..like some preacher or pope telling everyone else what is or isnt good for them, what it sin and what isnt..or some white missionary telling natives that by doing this or that they are communing with the devil..all sounds real familiar..

Its like not being able to accept someoone else religous or spiritual beliefs and practices just becasue they dont fit you or because you dont feel they are respectful enough..so instead of accepting that that is how they do things, you sum them up to "disrespectful".. and instead of accpeting them for the ways that they differ from you, you want a bunch of carbon copies walking around?

It's just the same when you tell someone that it's disrespectful for someone to drink ayahuasca daily or smoke DMT, yet it's not for an amazonian, becasue the context is different..well what context?..are you actaully trying to assume that you know the context of use in relation to some person over the internet?

What you are exemplifying here is Anthropocentricism..and if you presented that in a real anthropology class they would point that out to you right away. You should think about weather or not it if really fiar to judge others based only on whats relative to you before you just go ahead and do it.

great link! Thx.

Question, do you guys feel your religious/purpose of life beliefs guides your visions or the other way around? The reason I ask this is because I have also had ego death voyages but on my trips I felt as though I had met and spoken to God and he gave me guidance. I have also experianced what I believed to be angels and demons. So vividly that they kept me up at night. I would consider myself a spiritual person who uses these plants as teachers, not because I feel the plants need my worship but that they do hold a key.

Anything I say on this forum is my belief or my opinion and is based on my experiences.

I originally said:



My mistake was using the word “you”. Maybe I should have said “It has been my experience that lower-dose experiences leave open the possibility of subconscious authoring, etc., but with higher dose experiences, I have no doubt that the experience is real.” Better?

And notice in my comment about disrespect – I do say “it’s clear to me”. My belief. My opinion. To rephrase: “If I were to travel daily to the deeper realms, I would consider it disrespectful to myself and to the experience.”

I’m not a big fan of organized religion myself, so if I came across as “preachy” I apologize – that definitely wasn’t my intent. I’m not telling anyone what’s right or wrong, what they should or shouldn’t do.

Bla bla bla bla....

Hey Ant!

Lookin forward for your book bro
So for how long will I have to wait?

Me too!

writing a book is HARD!!! i had no idea....

truly, i can write forum posts all day long. i can respond to PMs and questions and feel totally at peace. threading together a cohesive, interesting narative and trying to stay somewhat focussed and not ramble all over the place....THAT'S TOUGH!!

it's coming along well. i'd say i'm about 80% done with the rough draft. it will most certainly need a good edit/revising or two. i really hope you guys like it.... i tried to cover a fair amount of stuff. basically, it breaks down like this so far:

1. my childhood and a good bit about who i am, where i come from and how i was raised. hopefully to help you know me and understand how and why i would gravitate toward psychedelics and exploration.

2. i get into my early work with psychedelics and also get into my early days as a professional athlete....drawing many parallels between the two seemingly unrelated paths.

3. my introduction into ayahuasca in the rainforest of brazil. my time spent with the santo daime church and my time spent travelling the world doing peyote ceremonies on native american reservations, mushroom sweat-lodges, touring with the dead, the time i ate an entire sheet of LSD (100 hits!).....

4. i discuss my profoundly close relationship with my father and how his passing 6 years ago launched me into a new chapter in my life where my fear (along with other, more positive qualitites) seemed to have left me.

5. finally my DMT introduction and subsequent work. i include the tek for my first extractions and then i start in with the trip reports. as the book ties up, i give some of my personal theories and thoughts on the implications and potentials that DMT could hold for humanity and consciousness as a whole...i also explain how in doing DMT every day i was able to have the most successful racing season of my entire career....i hope to really appeal to a main-stream curiosity with this portion...

that's pretty much what's going on now. i'm working hard to finish it up but my season has officially started and i am training/racing so hard right now i'm finding it difficult to have those multi-hour writing flows i wsa having when i first started. ah well....it'll come when it comes.

much love and gratitude to you all for encouraging me to even do this. i hope there is something for everyone in this and that many can be helped even a little in their work with the sacrament. it is really all i could hope for.

L&G!!

I would love to read the part about the sheet of acid...
O.O

oh dear lordie.....what a week.....

those early 90's touring with the Dead.....so many great stories....that was one for the great grandkids for sure.... !!

in a nutshell, i had bought a couple sheets. a bunch of friends all chipped in and i essentially got a '2 for 1' deal from a fellow head i knew from tour. i dosed every day for about a week on my share of the 1st sheet and had built up such a tolerance by the end that on the 7th day i felt i could go that far and ultimately make it back.

thank god i was in nature for that week. eugene, oregon to be exact. the show was over but i stayed and camped near crater lake. i became a bigfoot for a week.....completely wild and primitive in every way. eat, sleep, live, poop, be.....i have never had such a sustained foray into the present as i did during that week in the wilds of oregon. it will forever stay with me as a reminder of what is possible. not that i was able to interact too well for the bulk of that week, but since i was alone out in the woods with my little '69 VW camper van stocked with food and warm blankets it didnt' really matter.

and the presence....oh god THE PRESENCE!! it was a lifetime's worth for most people.

seriously, if you added up all of the tiny little moments the average soul is actually present in the here and now during a lifetime....i bet it wouldn't be much more than a week in total.

i still haven't decided if i will die younger or live longer as a result of this particular experience. all i know is that i wouldn't trade it for anything. i think i came out of that knowing myself 3000% more than before i went in. how can that be anything but good?

L&G!!

Wouldn't happen to be this run would it?


I was at these shows... Very cool. Huey Lewis came out for a few songs. I also remember Bob s guitar screwing up during Jack Straw and Jerry played like a five minute lead to cover for him. Ugh I can still remember how tired I was after that run. Good times

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! !!!

alright, i'm back... just went off on a pretty intense flashback....

that Help/Slip/Franklin's was pretty sick as i recall.....

SNORT UMG GROUFF!!
(LOVE AND GRATITUDE!! in bigfoot-ese)

That is the sound of a man with a smoking crater in his brain after a dead concert.
yeah that is a good recall cuz the Help Slip Franklin was extremely tight for the dead in that era.

I would probably read your book in a day, Ant! Sounds like such an amazing story... with the combo of athleticism and the use of psychedelics actually benefiting it? I can't wait for the finished copy. Get that last 15% done and dusted! No pressure