A friend of mine just sent me this letter immediately after administrating to himself a massive dose of DMT. It is a brainstorm of what he saw immediately upon coming to his senses:



I am/was alone in my apartment. My friends recently left the place and I decided to smoke some DMT. I closed all the windows and shutters and made the place totally dark except for one candle that I lit in the center of the room.




Dose: Unknown - Massive
Method of administration: Vapor from "The Machine"
Time of administration: 5:05pm
Duration of vision(s): 30 minutes

I don't know where to start and whether this world is real or an illusion... I seem to have loaded an unknown massive dose into a DMT pipe, melted the spice, and inhaled. I inhaled one massive hit and felt like my reality was starting to turn inside out. I put the pipe down while I still could, and (I think) fell back into my sofa. I can't really explain what happened... Time seemed to stop and I was in a new place. All I can say is it was alien beyond words. Some beings immediately showed up and were communicating with me (screaming?) and proceeded to tear my soul apart. I literally felt and still feel torn to pieces and to an extent my soul feels raped. The next thing that I can put into words is I thought that I was dying. There was a terrifyingly loud noise in the beginning like a ringing, and then loud noises like echoes and voices from all over the place. Next thing I know that I did as myself when I became aware of this reality as an earthling is that I stood up and desperately started clawing the shutters trying to open them to get some light into the room to see what the hell was happening. Here time was slowing down to still, and then accelerating to extremely fast and displaying every speed in between. All I saw was a bright light and the room melting and distancing/closing in on me. I felt like I was 20 feet tall and collapsed on the floor, thinking I've overdosed of poisoned myself somehow on something, not knowing what myself actually was anymore. What felt like a stomach began gurgling as if I was going to throw up, and I got up and started about my apartment stumbling around, thrashing and collapsing. I made it onto something that seemed like a sofa and began thinking only of my family and my sitter and how they would feel when they found out I had died in my apartment alone. I started screaming out loud things like "ok, I understand now, I understand your power" and "I'm back now, I am in my body, I'm here, this is where I was born" and "please have mercy". I don't know how, but I was totally disconnected from reality... there was a bright light shining in through my windows and everything including my hands were melting and swirling. I tried opening the computer to communicate with someone for possible help. I then noticed my clock and saw the time and started watching it, drifting in an out of this room and some other place.

To summarize now that I seem to be about my senses in typing this, I am absolutely shocked and in awe of what just happened to me... I feel shaken down to the very foundations of my soul and my perception of what is real. In fact, just before I got the motor skills to type this I though perhaps I was insane, and simply dreaming a sane life this whole time. I am struggling to go over my memories to confirm that indeed I am who I think I am and my life here did happen. I cannot say anymore at this time since I simply cannot find the words to describe it any further. I now understand what this DMT is capable of...

Let me get this straight. You are able to smoke a massive dose, and while you are in jimjam land you are able to stand up and do shit like open curtains?

I can relate to the rape, it reminds me of when this happened...



You have to learn to accept and go with it. Also, I recommend Changa. Pure spice can really kick your ass, it's not like Changa doesn't... just not as severely as pure spice (IMHO)

Try meditating while in hyperspace...
Why not be just like your avatar?


The body dies so the soul can bloom.

Ohhhh! How well SWIM understands you! SWIM did not expect that just a trip description could bring back the memory of that horrible trip so bright and vivid.

After one particularily big dose she was raped by an incredibly evil alien from hyperspace through what could be best explained as her soul. Since that day she could not think of inhaling spice for three months. Even now in 3 years straight evapped spice is a HUGE challenge for her.

SWIM didn't even want to bring this issue at the forum, but it seems at least three other people been there.

More than three of us have encountered the presence of the other. Do the best you can to decipher.

I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON!!!

Sounds like my most intense experience (about 3 weeks ago). Except I didn’t feel like I was dying. I was absolutely convinced that I had died. And I had left my body far behind, so there was no going back and forth between this world and “that” world.

And there’s a way to tell if you’ve had an incredibly deep experience (aside from the experience itself!). If, upon returning to this world and returning to your body you are absolutely convinced that you’ll no longer be able to function in society after having witnessed what you just witnessed, then you know you've had a profound experience.

So beautiful and so terrible.

Eternity,

Sorry to hear you got slapped around. It happens to the best of us.

Ironically, if you had been able to get in a 2nd or 3rd hit, it might have incapacitated you to the point where you couldn't interact with consensus reality, and it might have been easier for you to surrender. It's the whole anchoring issue again: you are struggling to reconcile this world with that one, and that is ALWAYS a losing proposition. If you are gone to the point where you cease to be, where you only exist as a drop in the endless ocean of the collective, then you really have no choice but to submit and fully surrender. This may sound like callous advice after what you've just encountered, but for me, the most intense panic is usually a result of straddling irreconcilable planes.

Now you've had a taste of the power. The shock and awe will ease up in time, don't worry - but you'll be mulling over the implications of what you've just been through for quite some time, I'm guessing.

Well, it was not just a presence of the other. For SWIM it happens very often. This time (happened once) the other was performing this unspeakable soul raping act.

It only happened to me once. I was first visited by the Jester, who laughed his ass off because I thought I could control the trip. He indicated otherwise ;-)

Then mad mantoid bitch had her way with me. It was terrifying, but kind of sexual too. I was left feeling raped and crying. While she was raping my soul she was picking at me with her pincers, tearing me to pieces.

When the ordeal was over, I was left feeling strangely post-orgasmic and I was gifted a light orb, in my room. The orb was beautiful. I had to hum different frequencies at it and it would vibrate different light.

Who is this mantoid thing?

Precursor to the sacred or soul scavenging borg-bitch?

@Eternity

Next time try to take another big toke and then just let go of yourself. Leave yourself in this world and leave this world behind.
Surrender to the experience.

never been raped, but boy have I been spanked a few times

The rape is subjective.
I think it's obvious that hyperspace is gathering our data.
yes, it's intrusive.
There's nothing you can do about it.
Hyperspace is a hub and it is collecting our consciousness.

It's symbiotic if you let go and accept this.

It learns from you, you learn from it.

Fuck I thought I was the only one .. the 'jester'/'joker' is the first entity I ever saw on dmt ..
Wow, just searched here and it seems to be incredibly common, which is amazing as I had never heard of any connection at all between dmt and jesters.. well not considering how amazing dmt is but I guess that's the first thing I've confirmed personally that is concretely and undeniably a shared entity between experiences.
Anyway he just wiggled his fingers at me
Anyway isn't the only difference between rape and loving sex consent?

Read this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trickster

In particular the part at the bottom titled 'Tricksters in Native Traditions'

Interesting, was aware of the similarities in other cultures in the past but not quite the extent/meaning of it..

The mantis. We have also met, but only on high dose psilocybin. It latched onto my head with its ??? and was observing my space through what I was seeing. Oh and the jesters. It is hard to make out a specific image that I can clearly bring back and remember, but it was also flicking its fingers at me and sort of beckoning me to come deeper/closer even though I was so close it "existed" in front, inside and behind me.

My Jester has a cartoony appearance, he always seems to be gesturing (jestering) with his hands, bowing and posing. He is like the guy who does the sign language for the TV news in Italy. I know what you mean about him being everywhere, glimpses in front of you, then behind, inside, inside-out.

He once had a large hoola-hoop device that was made out of gyroscopes. He could use this device to stop or slow time down for me so that I could take a closer look at things. I never saw that mad horny mantoid bitch again, but I am usually collected by a serpent/mantis lady being who was quite cold at first but then warmed up to me, who along with the jester showed me things and picked my brain.

I have a theory about the serpent/mantis lady though.

I think it's Jester's job to keep you distracted or entertained while she gets to work.

I believe that they first need to map you. They have to get into your head in order to build an interface, like a consciousness interface. So while the jester keeps you entertained, the mantis lady goes to work in your head to map you and find the best way for them to build a plugin.

I have mostly seen these two together when I am being programmed or 'worked on'.

I see jester sometimes, but I now spend time in hyperspace without them. They were more or less always there for the first 6 months of my spice journeys.

When I see jester now, he's master of ceremonies, grooving and shaking along with the glooping 5d jimjam that rocks his world.

I met the jester once, but he wasn't with a mantis lady. He was with a beautiful 100 foot tall lady.

The jester I met was also beautiful. A type of energy emanated from him that I've never felt before. Pure genius and humor. A strange combination of the two that made him seem godly and all-powerful. The lady was very nice, she reassured me that our reality is going to be ok.


You'll have to forgive me, I don't know your full exposure to psychedelics and DMT. For me, I close my eyes and keep em shut the whole time. Was this your first time and it freaked you out?

Just know that DMT gets better with use. You get accustomed to the time warping and reality melting. You are able to concentrate and calm yourself so it doesn't make you thrash around wildly.