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While all of this worked out for our friend joebono. He DID aptly title this thread, so...










Very nicely put.


Hey Joe, don't cringe too much.


Namaste,

Espiridion

During the trip, I felt that all learning was just remembering. It was as if I already knew everything, but just forgot it. This was quite a revelation, I read Plato's version of it, but to actually live it out was an experience that I will never forget. The DMT was some magic that erases the amnesia and put me in touch with the true nature of reality. During this trip I recorded myself with an audio recorder so I have a few hours of my rantings and ravings as a consolation prize. I can't wait to listen to them soon to see how much of it actually sticks to my ribs. I think this trip report captures some of the essence of yesterday's journey with all of its arrogance and certainty and bliss. Hell, if I were really a god that is who I would be, the sum total of yesterday's trip.

I will be taking two weeks off of the molecule to process. Damn, it's going to be hard because I want to go back to that hyperspatial masturbatory pink and purple magical god-mode all knowing spot that is the DMT flood.

its not always like that.....

That's a scary concept. I can't imagine a five hour oral DMT trip that was a special type of hell. All of my trips have been varying degrees of endless enlightenment and euphoria. If DMT gave me an endless version of hell, I can envision some sort of PTSD effect. My set and setting are carefully controlled so hopefully that will help insulate and protect me from the dark shadows of my consciousness.

1. Chögyam Trungpa speaks about a state which he calls "the complete identification with the Ego". This is a triumphant state, a state of accomplishment, of supernatural feel-good. It results from completely losing our discriminative intelligence: by becoming the Ego, all the problems disappear, because from then on, only the Ego exists. The care for other beings stops because only the Ego remains.

2. By their fruits ye shall know them.

3. My current understanding is that there are some incredibly powerful god-like beings playing the world up there. These gods are deluded somehow and their delusion becomes immediately manifest in the world - as the world. At first sight it seems that there is no way to change their ways because they have no higher control, no reference points. They are just doing it, as dictated by their God-given nature. These beings are our sleeping selves.

Save the DMT for exploration of the outside world. I find the more I trip alone and in the same setting, the more I am alone in that setting. Seems now that trips aren't much different if I am in the environment i've always tripped in. The "WOW, I am everything and nothing" insight needs to be embodied and experienced fully. I am saving the drugs for a times I can do that, not be stuck in my head with nothing to do.

It's all so simple and it doesn't require much thought to see that.

Joe, I hope all works out for the best for you. I also hope that you find the strength that allows you to receive the great advice that has been given to you by many and take a break.


[quote=joebono If DMT gave me an endless version of hell, I can envision some sort of PTSD effect. My set and setting are carefully controlled so hopefully that will help insulate and protect me from the dark shadows of my consciousness.[/quote]

Reading your recent past posts and this quote above leads me to believe you are setting the stage for an epic negative event for yourself. I believe you when you say your setting is very controlled. Again based on your recent past posts, I dont beleive your set is. Integration/healing is not two weeks, its not one week, or a year. I would suggest not puting a time limit on it. Voyage again when its time, not just because its Saturday.

IMO and I'm sure others here will agree, when you get on a roll like the one joebono is on, there will be an event.

Give yourself some time.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

Sounds like you really need a break, you seem to be building up to something pretty bad. Good luck and take it easy.

Reading your recent past posts and this quote above leads me to believe you are setting the stage for an epic negative event for yourself. I believe you when you say your setting is very controlled. Again based on your recent past posts, I dont beleive your set is. Integration/healing is not two weeks, its not one week, or a year. I would suggest not puting a time limit on it. Voyage again when its time, not just because its Saturday.

IMO and I'm sure others here will agree, when you get on a roll like the one joebono is on, there will be an event.

Give yourself some time.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

[/quote]


It's tough because after a week, I am always ready to go back in. I know my post screams of something, but it was written in the throes of my deepest journey. Looking back on it, the trip was an odd mix of complete narcissism and the acknowledgment of the molecule's role in my life. It was like I came to the realization that all I do all my life is seek pleasure and avoid pain (work and bullshit) and pharmahuasca trips are pleasure personified infused with wisdom.

I don't know how to tell if my set or my psychological state is right for tripping right now. I feel optimistic and positive and everything seems to be in place in my life. Freud could say I am just rationalizing and putting up defenses to continue with destructive and dangerous tripping behavior. Damn, IHS, now you got me worrying about the potential for a negative "event". Let's hope this event doesn't include the neighbors, my naked ass running down the street, and a trip to the ward. Either way, I am taking a 21 day hiatus (partly because I am going on a vacation) and hopefully some distance will allow me to see the larger picture. Thanks.

That can't be the way. Drugs are not the ultimate truth.
We are the truth. You, me and the universe.

DMT is just the key to open up the gates of perception.
Nothing more.

You have to learn to live a good life.
Some drugs can help you with that, some can destroy it completely.


I hope you use DMT and other drugs as a tool and not as your purpose.