A 2 day odyssey that started on Sat....
lately a little fear has cropped up for me as I start my spice missions. So I start very easy slowly increasing dose as I go.
beautiful spring-like weather has arrived in new england temps in the fifties and sunny. thats my cue to go in.....
beautiful forest calls me, I go on sat , start gradually, I can't seem get anywhere,feeling sick trying smaller doses ramping up. keep trying, finally one major breakthrough laying on a post ice age rock slab. I can feel vibrations through the stone flowing into my body like a low rumbling. its pure power
There is a distinct veil ,,part of my body is immersed into the alternate space . Its a full on psychedelic realm with the works. I hear my voice in this reality calling out for the camera " where's the camera ?? I declare " where is it? i need to document this its too amazing not to capture in some form . I am blowing the whole thing trying to find the camera. I can't remember where in my pack i have it. I simply want to put the video on and record myself talking. Lose the flow .....have to go..
it felt unfinished, Today Monday I decide to finish what i started on sat.. go in, late afternoon exquisite day sunny and beautiful.
Olympic level spice research commences. Move around to different spots trying to connect with "that" space..... get close.
Have mild panic trip have to calm down . lost my bearings in it forgot where I was. lost identity for a few minutes reestablish identity and present reality...... sun went down . getting colder hike some more talk to myself telling myself not to be such a baby. work it out. Hike down to stream too cold move up try again VG in hand ... hit it ...So close yet not quite there.
getting frustrated ready to give up. better luck next time. start hiking getting dark light fading.. decide to give it one more good shot.. find a perfect high rock outcropping lie down load up VG one last blast .. I'm getting in FInally wow ... it starting to happen.. Sudddenly i get a message from somewhere that says load it up and hit it again !!! so I do ............
and that was the one !!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes it takes work to get there but it is soooo worth it when you do. closed eyes .I remember carnival characters spinning on a merry go round thingy. The characters are made of that candy colored plastic material and they re very weird and different. Yellows and reds patterned surfaces of clownish characters. its moving fast I decide to open my eyes the carnival thing is a little too intense.
Things start to shift to bliss-land . Looking up at the trees in the fading light the most blissful feeling ever. I never remember until I'm there again . Loss of body just beauty and oneness with everything. delicate esquisite beauty I feel complete and whole and totally amazing . It seems to just keep going no stopping. I saty in this state for what seems like hours. It is good, really good, really really good. I remember why i do this now and confirm that it is worth everything. I feel victorious and amazing I hike out feeling absolutely renewed and empowered........I say yes yes yes
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke
http://vimeo.com/32001208