No offense, but you have NO experience with this knowledge and you are advising us to forget it?
What is wrong with this picture??????

its good to be grounded..but to what is the ultumate question?..hwo can we be sure what we ar grounding ourselves to is rooted in that same level of grounding?..does the analogy hold up?

If you were to truely be like god as you state morphane..constantly forgetting..than it also implies that we are constantly remembering..for we cannot forget that which we dont first remember.

To ground oneself back into the roots that we once remembered ourselves out of would seem non progressive..which i dont think god is just since it is "forgets and forgets again"..forgetting is like letting go..but letting go can imply foreward momentum..doesnt necessarily imply regression.

Do we have a catholic church member among us? joking.

But seriously. Some things you can't forget. Once accessed they are permanently scarred into the front of your mind. Much sleep lost, though no regrets. To forget is to forget who I am.

I don't really rant about my use of psychedelics at all really, but all who know me can see, hear and feel that there is something different within me and that's been nothing but an advantage to me on the whole. Psychedelics have amplified that.

I'm constantly trying to reprogram myself to be who I want to be. Sure I've lost a good few friends on the way, but the most important one's are never far away.

No offense, but I wasn't talking to you arsehole. Go and fuck yourself.

It's true! What are you so afraid of? "Have a beingasm today!"

Morphane..we dont see eye to eye..that's been obvious from past interactions..you should know that I hold no ill feelings towards you personally..debate is healthy..I dont agree with you..but I will accept you becasue you have a right to your opinion..your the walker of your path brother not me..i dont know what youve seen..you dont know what ive seen.

It's also obvious from your past posts that your in the middle of something, some sort of existential crisis Id say..and thats ok..accept it..anyone that really has anything of substance to say has been there..I dont mean this as offence to you so pleace dont take it as such..but alot of what I get out of your posts is FEAR..fear of what might be..fear of what could be..fear of what might not be..

You seem to be grasping for something to anchor yourself to and when you find it's not there in one speciic place you panic and out of fear keep looking back, attemping to forget something you never found in the first place. It's ok, we all tend to do that.

You are searching..thats obvious, you wouldn't be here otherwise..so I give you credit for that.

But you seem to be shrouded in darkness, searching for the light in SPECIFIC PLACES..brother..the light isn't something you FIND..it's something you REALIZE..you realize it within everything..you dont find it under one little corner of somewhere..

Please lets just let down the barriers for one moment and be honest people without letting our sensitive egos get offended..I know that you feel you hate me but I personally feel that what you are referring to as "letting go" in the context of these peoples experiences is really you telling them to fall into denial..

What does denial accomplish?..where does it get us..where is the growth?

Someone picks a fight with you in the school yard, or steals your lunch money or makes fun of you in front of the whole class..are you going to deny the fact that they are a bully?..are you going to fall into fear and go along with it..never doing a thing to change the situation?

Id rather make a stand, stick up for myself..see the reality of the situation for what it is, be strong and keep my head up..look the situation in the eyes and see the mechanisms behind the system..WHY is this person so angry?..WHY do they feel the need to pass on such darkness?..what did they get that makes them want to hand this off to someone else?

Instead of falling into denial why not fall into love?..why not accept the fact that this world right now is running from a level of shadow..shadow is what we are getting so shadow is what we are giving..remember the love..dont forget the light.

See..this is not ok Morphane...
You do what you want but where is that attitude going to get you in the end?..all yu are doing is passing on your own percieved darkness..

Really it shouldn't matter what it is that house is saying to you..the emotion that you attach to it is all you..you can can feel hurt..thats normal..none of us are solid like rocks..I sure as hell wouldnt want to be..

But I mean, if you dont like feeling like that..than why make others feel like reguardless of how they react towards you on the internet?..hwo much more energy would it take for you to instead of calling house an asshole just smile and say something nice instead?..at least there would be a bit less animosity in the world cycling around..youd probly feel better in the end and hosue would feel better in the end..thats called acceptance..unconditional love..its wonderful..it feels good for you,,feels good for others..win win situation.

Sorry ۩, I forget I'm only the little, snot nosed sibling in this strange community. I'm not in some dark, strange place - just suffering growing pains.

I really love you all.

joebono: I'll share some about myself and encourage you to pick up what resonates with you.

Be happy that your loved ones care enough to work with you, they have good intentions. When you truly know who you are, it's okay to change how you go about life to help other people. Psychedelics have helped me find many truths (pleasant, or otherwise), and I have found a way to honestly and constructively express them. Your deepest essence will never change, but you can choose which shells to wear for your loved one's and society's betterment. Your light will shine through these layers as long as you stay true to yourself. Abide.



Working with psychedelics, I fell deeply into a phase similar to what you are describing. It was characterized by a heavy lsd hobby, way too much pot, and countless hours of self-loathing with mescaline. Countless. I do not underline the substances used, it was just the time in life when I decided to fully disillusion myself and I'm sure any number of methods would have led to the same place, the same starting point. Many other paths would have taken much longer.

Deep ayahuasca journies found me after... a while... spent in the deconstruction zone, and everything changed. I would say I wish I had people to talk to, but I did... I just wish I had learned to listen. Anyway,

It may sound dramatic, but I found myself at a fork in my life: leave society to tear itself apart, or find some way to help fix it.

With the speed that information is spreading today, humanity is finally coming together and soon enough there will be nowhere anybody can hide. To all of you out there in the woodwork: we're coming, be ready

"When you run, make sure it's to something and not away from," -Avett Brothers



With some heavy guidance from aya, the following began to unfold:

The human experiment is worth saving.

IMHO, it will never happen by directly spreading truth and light - society is too far gone for that option. It's a shame that entheogens are viewed the way they are, it forces us to find any and all other means of spreading the message they bring. On the other hand, these are just the rules of the game we play.

The answer is to fully integrate into society, to virally seed, spread and use everything we learn from psychedelics. I have a mode of operating for dealing with people who have not yet turned on, to keep them from being scared off before any good can be done. My life is rich and diverse so that I may discuss many aspects of myself, while never revealing these plants or chemicals to those who simply don't need to know. Self control and discretion go hand in hand.

"Discretion is a better part of valor," -this guy I talked to last new year's



All parts of my life depend vitally on the others; it is in no way a double-life. Most of my trips revolve around my daily life and vice versa. When it's in order and I get a chance, I go DEEP!

Balance is very important. If it weren't for the things in my life that are not tripping, psychedelics would lose a lot of their power and meaning. When I surrender to too much of the daily illusion and don't find time for a nice long trip at least once a month, I lose personal power and meaning. Spice launches come and go in my life, I don't really consider it tripping as much as recalibrating.



I'm not trying to sell myself as awesome to you, my words are meant to express how pleased I am with where I am and where I'm going - especially in spite of where I was. Although shit is fucked up, there is hope.

And not all people are bad, there's good niches to be found in the damndest of places. The weather's getting better, maybe get/join some folks on some outdoors adventures? This year, I'm gonna try out kayaking for the first time



Two options/suggestions:

1) Consider taking a break, put all your psychedelics in a box under the bed and forget about them for at least a month. Take up some legitimate community service and lose yourself in that, it may be very grounding.

2)If you don't want to take that long of a break from psychs, take a break from the breed of truth you are reading. Fuel your trips with another source. Endlessness suggested Gurdjieff here on the forum a while back, and I am very grateful. I have been crawling through "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson" for almost a year now, it goes very well with tripping. It sounds like you might be in a good place to approach this book, if you so choose.

I hope some of this can help, and truly wish you the best



EDIT: In light of the rest of this thread, don't misinterpret my words to mean you should bend over backwards for society... I'm talking about working with the people close to you, not being whatever the 'infrastructure' commands... I don't think anybody who honestly pursues psychedelics could live that lie...

Do not be sorry! I REALLY think you should just see for yourself! It's so amazing, so true, so real, and so TANGIBLE!
It will help you in ways you never thought possible...

Morphane..i never said you were in a dark place as in a bad thing..growing pains a good description though..I like that much more..some of the happiest people I have ever met first went through some of the darkest shit I could imagine.

I see darkness as something akin to a shadow cast by that thing looming in the dinstance..like a dark night before the light of dawn..you can only fall so far untill you realize that you can NEVER fall ultumatly..You are eternal brother and spirt will always flow through you connecting you to the great indescribable mystery we are all swimming though..You never need to look for for what you need, but it takes alot of real shit to finally realize that..

"Sorry ۩, I forget I'm only the little, snot nosed sibling in this strange community"

Noone of us are perfect Morphane, I sure as hell am not..not even close..miles miles away..dont take things so personally..its the internet bud..just relax. If you wish to be accepted than just focus on putting that vibe out towards others..but dont worry about being perfect.

I think you really have to consider your usage. Sure, some people are comfortable using psychedelics "all the time", and apparently they are able to maintain a healthy perspective, but that doesn't mean this works for you. In my opinion, using psychedelic drugs "all the time" can lead you to relate less well to others, and normal everyday life in general. I think that moderation allows for a deep understanding of your psychedelic experiences, whereas everyday use leads to a dependency on a shifted perspective of reality. This isn't really healthy for a number of reasons, but I won't put others down if they are able to maintain a healthy lifestyle; I personally find this a difficult thing to do.

For me, psychedelics are a gift, and if you get gifts all of the time, they aren't really gifts anymore, they just become something you do.

Persoanlly..I dont see any of this being about frequency of journeys..thats sort of an abstraction..

Just becasue you dont journey for a month does that mean you forget what you have seen, forget your personal revelations? Maybe who knows but i dont think so..

I think this is about holding different ideals than what the current infastructure caters to..and thats it..there are plenty of people that dont take psychedelics that can fit right into that category..activists and such.

fractal, I think it goes much deeper than just fitting into the current infrastructure. There is no infrastructure for some of the revelations you experience, there often is no place for some of the knowledge bestowed upon you, it is absolutely not of this universe, and as much as we love to spend time in other dimensions, our time now is here.

This has to do with ones own sanity in our dimension (and it really doesn't matter if you define sanity as adhering to the demands of the current infrastructure) - to truly know something, know every last bit of it to its core, you must become it. Once you become it, all value in knowing about it is lost, because there is no more you (as an external observer) to value the knowledge. You understand?

It's pretty obvious that Joe has identified a problem and is actively trying to fix it, saying that the infrastructure is the problem doesn't really do anything to fix it. We live in the infrastructure, and as fun and exciting and eye opening and stunning and jaw dropping and awe inspiring and growth-inducing as it might be to step outside of it, it is just as valuable to understand how to fully live within it - which at times can mean not traveling outside its boundaries.

Again, I don't think it is a bad idea for folks to take psychedelics frequently (aside from any physical problems that may be associated with it), unless they personally discover that the lifestyle isn't working - for you it may work fine, for others the same, and for others maybe not. (I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm suggesting that taking a break can be valuable depending on the individual.)

"We live in the infrastructure, and as fun and exciting and eye opening and stunning and jaw dropping and awe inspiring and growth-inducing as it might be to step outside of it, it is just as valuable to understand how to fully live within it - which at times can mean not traveling outside its boundaries."


Im sorry but I disagree with that part.

For one thing, sanity is all relative..there isnt much that is really "sane" about western culture..its a dead end road the way its going..the people who are working outside of the lines of the current modality are the ones who are going to instigate real change for the better..its good to be an outside of the box person..those people are needed.

I still dont see why psychedelics are required for someone to step outside of that infastructure..there are all kinds of people who are JUST LIKE THAT..its natural..I have always been odd..i was like this all through highschool..different and alienated..I always had ideas about things that didnt fit in with the norm..I never took psychedelics until I was about 20 years old.

Id much rather follow my own path than decide to fit into another just becasue its well established.
Fair trade..environmental sustainability..oppostion to wal-mart style slavery..REAL equality and abolishement of social classes, royal families ets..REAL multi-culturalism..freedom of speech..freedom of conciousness..these are all things that the current infastructure at large DOES NOT support.

I don't believe in forgetting... not for a second. Whether your intention is recreation or self betterment, doing something you plan on forgetting is not something you should be doing to begin with. Fun is important and I like to remember the fun times I have. Further, lessons learned best are lessons best remembered.

Holding different ideals is key, especially when contrasted with what's accepted as a normal viewpoint today - fuck the infrastructure. It's equally important to find views you share with the ones you love and love you, to learn to get along with them. That's why we're here.


The main reason I bring up frequency is because it's been my experience that broad thought loops can form, even though it's definitely not always the case. The possibility of getting stuck on difficult thought loops, that cause struggle for an extended period of time, deserves some acknowledgement. Sometimes you find what you're looking for and refuse to stop pounding it into your brain. That's why I make the suggestion, maybe finding new methodology can help.

Last summer I had around three aya sessions per week and made incredible progress. Sometimes the answer is to address all the issues you can possibly conceive of, fully and absolutely. What then? I think you'll still reach a point where you want to put thoughts into motion and use what time you have. It might take a while, but I think it'll happen. After a while, it'll be time for more... I am very excited for this summer

Breaks have been good for me, but so has working heavily with entheogens. Try both. If you don't like where you are, do something differently.


The Gurdjieff book has been a very powerful spark for addressing my existence, I recommend it to anyone who has time. Just as a side note

"It's pretty obvious that Joe has identified a problem and is actively trying to fix it, saying that the infrastructure is the problem doesn't really do anything to fix it."

Well, in most cases I am a gradualist..so I dont think things just happen like that with a snap of a finger overnight..the world doesnt seem to work that way..why should the answer be that easy?..why should it be so obvious as to how to "fix it"? Anything worthwhile takes time..slowly building.

There are people now that are awakening more and more and seeing things about our culture that dont work..they are going to feel alienated for a while and thats just the way it is..eventaully these people will evoke enough change and many others will come to the same realizations and things will move foreword..thats just how it seems to work..

Evolution actaully DEMANDS this..demands a small core group to challenge the established habits..this is how progress works..and those that stand outside of that box of habits are standing at the forefront of evolution..they are the prototypes of the future.

It seems that you are undergoing a transformation of mind and spirit. You have added great knowledgeand perspective with all your studies and with your self exploration. Such knowledge can become burdensome, almost like a weight upon one's soul. There have been many great minds, philosphers, and leaders who lived life with a heavy heart. This can be outwardly appearant. I believe alot of this comes from the realizations you make about human nature in general. This does not need to be a persistant state, nor should it be because there are so many beautiful things to experience and live for.

I am not saying that this applies to you but they are observations that I have made. Hopefully I said something helpful.

Much peace and joy

Fractial, you mentioned "Fair trade..environmental sustainability..oppostion to wal-mart style slavery..REAL equality and abolishement of social classes, royal families ets..REAL multi-culturalism..freedom of speech..freedom of conciousness..these are all things that the current infastructure at large DOES NOT support."

None of these things really have much to do with Joe's problem, which is summarized by a statement in his first post: "I know I am obsessed about DMT". He is having trouble because DMT is making him unhappy by causing him to neglect parts of his life which he values, "It occupies much of my attention for most of the day... I am starting to think there some dark linings in this cloud."

That is a problem of obsession, which could be remedied by a decrease in usage or not using at all.

joebono, i think you're getting a lot of great advice here.


Let me give you something direct and practical: exercise at least three times a week for 30mins.

you might already have the cure within yourself.




let us know how it goes.