I've been dabbling into the CBD and THC again and got another remarkable experience out of it. This is a writeup to a friend which im just copy pasting here.
That day instead of gaming i initiated some change, and started reading a book. Got a bit of cbd into my system. during the reading my mind starts to wander, i bet you know that feeling, and i dropped lower and lower and lost focus on the book.
Oh i think i dosed some thc during the read time aswell.
Anyways, so i just let the things i was wandering at win, and relaxed, and perceived.
I felt and saw my mind expanding in a rectangle like fashion, lights rushing from one corner to another. Sometime the light focused on me, showing me a.... dark, shadowy figurine, with very sharp corners, like blocks to the sides of it. The shape was revelead when the light shown from behind it, revealing its silhoutte.
As intensity rose i decided to lay down and meditate. there was some psydub playing which fit the mood really well and got propely enhanced by myself.
So as i laid down my mind is able to see. Yet not on full display, i was able to grasp a very big room filled with abstract ideas, concepts, whatever you wanna call it. I was reading these concepts, feeling into them, like, it dawned upon me when i first removed myself from one concept bundle then i realized theres a whole room of that.
Anyways.
It felt like shared memory, something greater than "me" <- which in hindsight is just an ego issue really.
I was sure in that moment im perceiving the shared conciousness and it clicked and i realized man, its not like this conciousness is perceivable by me.... i am... that. conciousness.
After that the next thing i remember is the intensity rising, my heartbeat increasing alot and my perspective shifting a bit outside myself.
I saw my body slightly shifted into 3rd person, and its like my body rises, stretching a diaphragm upwards.
SO THIS IS GETTING F***Y NOW
I had the impression im about to break through, get out the matrix, whatever.
I got in touch with "my higher self", it, trying to pull me out of my meat suit me, in fear, and holding on very strongly. afraid of whats to come. Even if my mind understood there is nothing to fear, the emotional body load was very intense.
I came down again utterly shaking in shock of what just happened.
An intensitiy i was unaware, not even my close to breakthrough dmt trip was able to produce (except the visions, they were far more intense).
I was shaking for 20 minutes after it. yet i felt really good. like some parts of me "shook" themselves free. Being more myself.
I was able to make alot of connections after that. it really kicked of a transformation process
like, awakening. Realizing the sub-physical senses, perceiving myself as a human. Getting a background to alot of questions ive asked myself.
Im just grateful to be here LOL
EDIT: Proofread, added punctuation, formatted text