104 mgs HCl harmalas down the hatch at 2:00 p.m. 100 mgs had worked well for me in the past and 104 just happened to fall on the scale. I was not sure if DMT was going to happen or not but I decided to at least eat the harmala dose.

3:10 p.m. I talked myself into it. 11 mgs loaded into GVG.

15 mins later and unfortunately I have to report something went wrong or perhaps several somethings. According to Nemo the place smelled of DMT so I must have burned some.

The comeup was SUPER FAST as if I was not MAO inhibited at all. This was beyond unexpected and more into a feeling of deep shock.

This was one of those ones that brings back the Voidmatrix quote that with these levels of sensitivities there really is no safe dose.

I was in trouble right away. Things were very intense and very dark. The dark palette did not bother me, as things usually start that way. It was gorgeous, geometric and folding in. But mostly it was about the feeling of being way too intense and very wrong. Sadly this became a hardcore resistance trip. I am not proud. I don’t recall many visuals.

The panic and dread were building, in particular knowing I had not yet peaked. I felt like a cornered animal. I could hear the dog whistle carrier wave sound. I didn’t want to resist but I didn’t want to lay there and take it as everything continued to amp up. I knew if I opened my eyes the visuals would damp down a bit.

I lifted the blindfold and looked around the darkened room. Some of the closed eye contents had come with me. Very dark visuals. Uninviting. Everything was darkly vibrating and my body was shaking in time to the vibrations. It did not feel good.

I was suddenly aware of being RADICALLY overheated. Normally on DMT trips I am quite literally corpse cold but I was suddenly having a terrible hot flash. So, I ripped off a few layers and got down to tank tops.

I told Nemo, “Something went wrong. I’m overheated.” then I got hit with a bunch of weird, tickling, brushing tactile hallucinations along my legs that I interpreted as unpleasant. I believe I said, “I’m getting hit with tactile now. I’d better shut up,” and as soon as I did the sensations ceased.

Then I lay back and tried to let go. It was really hard.

I was in a wide open gigantic white room with weird filigree on the walls and a crystalline, changing happy small blue entity of light trying to encourage me to let go, telling me it was okay to let go, to die, to just let things happen.

I also recall pulling up in a room with a strange blue anthropomorphic entity in a kind of beach chair, just lounging.

Also there was an odd olive green spiral city where pastel and primary colored anthropomorphic entities were living on the platforms of the spiral and they kept settling in and sitting down as the spiral continued to twist. I felt they were communicating a similar message to me - just sit down and settle in for awhile.

Throughout this trip I felt pins and needles in my extremities.

Other than that I do not remember much. It’s like this trip was about a reminder that I have no real control and things very often go nowhere in the direction I would hope or plan. The value of letting go CANNOT be underestimated by any rational entity given this reality.

THE AFTERMATH:

I’m pretty sure I was not fully inhibited. I think for sure next time do 125 mg harmalas and 8 mgs DMT.

In the hours of the aftermath I have felt basically okay, though kind of shaky and shaken. I am trying not to let sadness creep up on me. There’s nothing wrong with a humbling reminder.

Couple hours later and Nemo is in bed. We spent a couple hours talking about death and dying as well as confessing about dead animals we had come across, bugs we had tortured as kids, an animal that was accidentally killed, the loss of our beloved cats and the impending loss of our 18 year old cat, the loss of family and old friends. Apparently I needed to cry a bit, and this conversation certainly provided an appropriate release valve.

I wound up feeling significantly better afterwards.

That’s a nice report.

I am surprised that only 11 milligrams of DMT did the job. I need thrice that much for a serious trip 🙂.

And that you use a blindfold. Hmmmm. No blindfolds for me. Same as earplugs. They may be necessary sometimes, but awkward.

I am glad to read that in the end everything turned out good for you.

By the way, as I read a lot of your DMT journeys, are you not into salvia ?

I'm really happy that you shared this experience. I think it's a great reminder of the variety that can come regardless of experience, etc.

How is it looking back now that it's been a good number of days?

&& on the positive side, at least for me, after I have a particularly overwhelming psychedelic experience for a while after I tend to tackle typical day-to-day stresses with zero f's given lol. Like "oh, the ATM ate my money? Pfft, at least my spirit isn't being dragged through the infinitum grinder of doom while the ancestors laugh".

strtman,

Thank you so much for reading and your comments.

In the past it would take me 35 to 40 mgs to get the kinds of effects I got from this ride. But after a HUGE number of DMT trips for YEARS in my 40s and then a 7 year break taking me to my mid 50's and beyond I find the rumors about drugs hitting older people harder are 100% true in my case. Upon my return to tripping I have found I am profoundly sensitive to everything I have tried from DMT to LSD to Mushrooms to MXE. Small doses are yielding deep and profound effects.

I use a Mindfold blindfold. It completely and softly envelops the eyes and blocks 100% of incoming light.

Yeah, I am a person who periodically has bad trips but who has also had a tremendous amount of personal insight and growth develop in the aftermath. I've gotten kind of stoic about the whole thing. All is well and I've been feeling great.

Actually I was curious if DMT still wanted to punish me so 2 days after this experience I did two 8 mg doses and it was welcoming, happy, friendly and playful, which was very reassuring.


Finally, I absolutely LOVED all of my salvia experiences. Never had a negative one. Never understood why folks did not like it. But, sadly, I was a peaceful sleepwalker. Not a fly out of the window kind of gal, but more of a get up from the bed like a zombie and over a period of 7 minutes slowly sleepwalk to the kitchen while being completely out of body. Like my body was acting out the content of the trip or something. This felt very dangerous so ever since I have ceased salvia use.

CatsPawTea,

Thank you for your comments.

As mentioned I have been feeling very well in the aftermath and just trying to take the lessons to heart.

I got a good laugh about your comments regarding the ATM and your spirit.

Pandora if you enjoy salvia and want to do it safer, I suffer from the same “sleep walking” issue w salvia.

Find nice single-seat living room type chair (needs to be too heavy to lift easily). It’s best if it’s a deep seat with high comfy arms. Get a belt from a bathrobe. Tie the belt to a back leg of the chair and feed it through the bottom of the chair and out up onto the seating area at the back of the seat cushion.

Get a carabiner - it can be a cheap one from the hardware store your not mountain climbing . Tie the robe belt to the carabiner so that when all the slack is pulled out of the belt the carabiner reaches just a few inches off the couch seat.

Then when you trip wear jeans with belt loops, sit down and reach behind to connect the carabiner to your back belt loop. This way your sleepwalking self can’t get up out of the chair. You’d think this might cause frustration that would spill into your trip but that’s never happened for me. Salvia is so dissociative from the physical world. I’m fairly certain my saliva zombie will never figure out it is tied up and manage to unhook the carabiner.

Anyway that lets salvia to be enjoyed more safely for us sleepwalkers.

Peace